Is it normal if i only take relationship advice from older people?

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10 Comments

I prefer to listen to older, mature adults when it comes to relationship advice because they are old-school and the way it used to be, I believe, is the right way. For example, I've been juggling my current status with my current bau and been reading/taking advice from different sources but they're obviously up to date sources. However, they all say the same thing when it comes to my situation: leave, walk away if you're not getting full attention, you deserve better, etc. Well, personally, I think because I'm mature, I prefer to stay and deal with our problems and work it out. I mean, isn't that how it's supposed to be and that's one of the things about love? Working through it, not just walking away. This lady, we're speaking about 80 years old, was the ONLY one to say "love is about respect, not just respecting yourself, but remember you have to respect your partner's wishes, too." That to me, stuck to me because that's exactly what I'm trying to do. My guy is in his 20s and there's this thing where guys at that age are working towards their careers first (at least the right-minded guys) and have priorities to settle down with themselves first before they settle down with someone else. And they will try to be available and so he does do his best to see me. Of course he has free time and would like him to come see me at that time but it's too much. I respect his free time if he wants to spend it some other way. I think when you truly like/love someone, you just know when to be patient with them. I rather be struggling with him than not have him in my life at all. So the other people were around my age and saying the same ol crap "leave him, walk away, there will be someone to give you all the attnetion in the world." Ugh what a turn off. People these days are very egotistic and self-centered especially girls. I guess I am still old-school and so is he, which I am thankful for because it will help us out not just with us but others things in the long-run. So I trust a more mature person's opinion more than someone my age. And we're talking about mature like older than 45.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 29 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • TheJester
    9 years ago

    Oh look, johnnythecunt made a new account. No, its not oldschool people who beat their wives, its assholes. Old school as in I believe in staying and fixing whatever problems nomatter what, instead of cheating or leaving someone at the very first mistake they make.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    What's if he never comes around and your "mature attitude" just cost u some of the best years of your life?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Nahh...I look back at all the disappointments I had last year with him and I don't regret it at all. I would regret it if I didn't TRY and make the best of it. Not going to say "fuck it" just cause my ego is telling me to and is not happy. Fuck the ego. It's a mindf*ck that people rely on to be "happy." What about the other person? Like the lady said, it's not just about receiving respect, it's about giving it back. It's a balance between two people who really want to be together and trying to make it work...not just saying forget it because the other person is not getting everything they want, which is usually girls. How do you know when to sacrifice and swallow your ego? If you're lucky like me, you just KNOW. I guess I am more traditional and understand that even though "individuality" is encouraged to pursue today (a load of bullshit I can't even deal), I still believe that two people are meant to be together and join forces as one. You just have to learn patience and be wise enough to know if that other person is worth it and if he/she is, then be patient and work for it. Then you know those people were a part of the best years of your life.

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  • TheJester
    9 years ago

    I turn 20 in a couple of months and I'm very old school when it comes to relationships.

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    • JohnnytheSnake
      9 years ago

      old school as in like beat your wife for over cooking the roast like how the 50's were? and making sure all their goals revolve around the kitchen? i can respect that.

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  • Fall_leaves
    9 years ago

    Are you as well working towards your goals and trying to be independent too? I think though there is a lack of interest in younger men to settle down so they date around and leave their options open.

    If someone really wants to be with you they will be with you, just make sure you're not putting all your eggs in one basket, you don't know what your future holds and there is a chance that it may not be with him. You have to decide your own worth it's not about attention it's about the value you put on yourself and your love, if someone doesn't deserve that love you need to be able to see that.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Of course I am. We're both working towards our goals and still staying in touch and seeing where it goes. We're going with the flow but still making the best of it, not just letting it pass by. That probably sounds like its destined for failure because we don't have a "label" or it's not "official" for today's generation because they're not used to being patient and understanding that there is no rush to get into something especially in our age.
      I'm tired of people saying things like "know your worth." Yes respect yourself first, but there's a difference in loving yourself with respect and loving yourself with a big ego. I think today's generation can't distinguish that difference and think of themselves first way too much. Like chill, you're not God. And like I said, you just know when to put away your selfishness and understand where the other person is coming from when you truly are into them. Unfortunately, boys and girls, are too brainwashed to take a moment and think twice if they really like this person or they just think they do. And those who think they do are the ones who need that lecture of "knowing your worth."
      I'm happy that I haven't dated around too much and driven my mind crazy. I'm really easy-going and don't just jump into something quick, just like him. We've both only had 1 or 2 relationships and they were for more than 1 year. And now, we're just dating and talking balancing it out because we cannot not have each other in our world but we also have another priority before each other which is FINE. We don't have to be our world right now. I'm happy I met a match and I'm happy/grateful to have the wisdom of an older adult. People think too much now and need to relax and realize they probably walked away from someone who was worth it. They just needed to be patient.

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      • Fall_leaves
        9 years ago

        I guess different experiences make for different opinions. I was in a long relationship and I thought I found the person I would spend my life with. I was patient and very understanding of him and his life outside of our relationship. Unfortunately he took advantage of that respect and trust that I had in him. I think I made the right decision in leaving him rather than trying to make it work. I think you would agree staying with an unfaithful partner that broke that trust would just be a total lack of respect for myself. I value myself more than being with someone that would disrespect and misuse my love and most importantly hurt me.

        You have this misconception about this generation, in older generations younger couples rushed into marriage at earlier ages, my grandmother was married to my grandfather when she was 19. Our generation is getting married later in life and having children later in life, there is more patience and less rush nowadays than there ever has been.

        When I spoke of self worth I don't mean it in an egotistical way, there's a difference between being full of yourself and valuing yourself.

        I don't think people are brainwashed, I do however believe people place unrealistic expectations on relationships.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          I think all I can say is it varies. It all depends on the people involved. I'm fortunate enough to not only be like-minded with mature people but to be involved with someone with the same mindset.
          But in general for me, people are very egotistic today. You're right though, that people today are more focusing on THEMSELVES before settling down so there's in a way no rush. However, there's like an irony to this. Although there's more motivation to be independent, there's also more problems in dealing with relationships. Gee I wonder why. Especially for girls, independence seems like it's the way to go, but deep inside there's this in denial part of you wanting you to have someone there by your side but because it has failed in the past, you want nothing to do with it or at least you're not prioritizing it. And you're pretending like you can care less but deep inside you know you would love to have someone there. Relying on social norms/values leads to you being confused about what to do when it comes to relationships or the other person. People don't know what to do anymore. Why can they just get over themselves and learn to be patient and understanding that not everything is going to live up to their expectations? If they know they love this person, then let yourself go a little, and respect the other person's wishes. It's not all about you even if its your life.
          I'm not going to let this one go just cause I'm not being valued fully like a princess. Please, that's sucha turn off and it doesn't mean I don't respect myself. It just means I respect myself fully enough to know that I am capable of loving someone and dealing with them as well as respecting them.

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  • RainbowDischarge
    9 years ago

    I agree with you. I would never take relationship advice from my one friend (we're 22). Her relationship is literally based off social media. She gets into a rage if her man doesn't like her photos or make posts about her on Facebook. Oh man, if her bf doesn't post a "#woman crush Wednesday" about her he will not hear the end of it. I hate when she complains about him because its never a real issue. Its always social media related. Like damn, i got ugly niggas liking my selfies and my man doesn't ever click the like button but I don't care. I'm still hitting it at the end of the day.

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