Is it normal if i'm okay with exploring and seeing what else is out there?

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So it's not entirely for sure if this is the case but it most likely is. I think my ex broke up with me because he wants to single and free yet he still likes staying in touch with me. It sounds like a case keeping me around in case he doesn't find anything better. SOMETIMES I feel bad about it, like he thinks Im not good enough. However, most of the time it doesn't bother me. Considering that we're still young, I think it's okay to want to explore and see if there is anything better out there because at this age, we don't exactly know what we want, but we have an idea of what we like, hence, my ex staying in touch with me. He might not completely be sure about me, but he sees potential. For me, I dont think there is anyone better for me than him but sometimes I realize Im still young and I dont think its healthy for me to just be all for him right now cause I might be missing out on something better for me. Especially if I want me and him to last, I find it okay to take our time to prevent anything detrimental happening in the future. Good things take time. So as for him, he is older than me and wants to explore and Im just here like okay, I hope you eventually come to your senses and see that we're good together. Rather than holding on to him tight and not letting him go, I want him to explore so he can come back to me satisfied he wants to be with me because right now, as said before, were still young, discovering and growing so we dont exactly know what we want.

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Based on 14 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • Fall_leaves
    7 years ago

    You're more concerned about your ex than yourself, it should be the other way around. His priorities include only himself and what benefits him, don't invest your time on something that's going no where.

    I'm speaking from personal experience, get off his radar, snip the ties and if he hits you up, either say nothing or hit him up with a friendly "fuck off". Settle for being his doormat and he'll treat you just as that.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      But see thats how I dont look at it. I dont think Im being a doormat by letting this happen. It might sound like he's this player or bad boy type for not wanting to settle down now but maybe later but people jump to conclusions too fast. There's just something that makes me think outside of the box, I dont see it as a bad thing. Hes just being human not sure if he wants to settle down at the moment and thats fine, Im younger than him so I think everything happens for a reason. His departure from me is letting me explore my own path and if its meant to be, well come back to each other. I dont believe its just black and white.

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      • Fall_leaves
        7 years ago

        My first account on this site was called Maybeoneday and it was directly related to my relationship with that person. I held onto that hope that we would part ways and find each other again because we always did. I had a conversation with him about our relationship once and he had said it "wasnt that black and white". I held onto those words and promises.

        I was in your position, I did what you did, I held onto hope. He's not a bad guy but he doesn't want to be with you and waiting for him is only going to hurt you.

        I know you're not going to listen but you deserve more.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          7 years ago

          To be honest, I'm not exactly waiting for him but I am gonna carry hope we fall back into each other's arms again until I genuinely don't care anymore. Waiting for him is too much of a risk and I just recently discovered that. We have each other on social media so Ive been seeing him having a good time, and so on like he planned too and it just hit me I should have a good time too then. I dont think we'll really find out if it was meant to be if we don't completely move on. By moving on, we know if we come across each other again, it is because it was meant to be. Plus, I think it will be a much healthier relationship than what it was which is again another reason why I firmly believe its okay to go out and explore but still keep in touch.

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  • Dreamsao
    7 years ago

    IIN People: He is just using you and you're letting yourself be used and manipulated. You are his doormat.

    You: lalala! Im not listening. You're all wrong. He loves me.

    That story has been the same since beginning of mankind. And the ending never changes. Just saying.

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    Are you sure he's not just trying to remain your friend?

    Also, dont make yourself a consolation prize a person can just settle for to avoid lonliness. Everyone deserves to be the Grand Prize, a person their partner has no 2nd guesses about and love to be around.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I dont know. If he was just trying to be my friend, wouldn't he have just said that? He didn't and instead, said when the time is better we can try to work it out. In fact, I believe he tried talking to me as a friend, but he said he couldn't resist talking to me in an intimate way, its just natural for him to do so. But I told him what if we stay in touch even if we're broken up and he was all for it, he didn't mind staying in touch, however, that didn't mean like talk every day but at least have each other on social media. Overall, I dont feel like its completely over, its just taking a break and see where it goes.

      I dont know but I just dont see myself as a backup plan. Maybe I am but like I mentioned on here I think, we're both young-how are we supposed to know exactly what we want right now? so its okay to go out there and explore rather than settling down now and possibly regret it later. I think people only think of it as being a backup plan when they have a lot of pride which I dont have especially with him. Ive had guys treat me nicely but I dont genuinely like them romantically so there's no point. Again, I dont have pride where I want someone who treats me like a queen, I rather have a real passionate relationship which I had with him. Nothing good comes easy or fast. Ive been reading about a lot of couples who ended up together after years of being with other people, being off and on, etc. I think it's only human to be unsatisfied and not know what you want yet until a few trial and errors.

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      • Tealights
        7 years ago

        Just don't waste your life waiting.

        Hope can be strength, but it can also paralyze a person from moving forward or blind them to new opportunities/possiblities. Good luck.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          7 years ago

          I'm not going to wait. Maybe I was willing to a month ago but now my pride has taken over a little where I am going to live my life but as long as I have these feelings for him, Ill always have hope for us to get back together. I def dont want him to look at me like a doormat if he came back to me so I have to be cautious on how I take him back. It won't be so easy but at this rate, Ill eventually take him back.

          I think being open to new opportunities will only benefit us if we were to get back together. So Im definitely gonna move forward with new things that come my way. Not just for us but for me.

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