Is it normal if i'm okay with being a second or less priority?

76% Normal
4 Comments

I find it attractive when men do not prioritize women as first. I find it kind of idk...feminine? basically a turn-off if he does devote all of his attention to a girl. There are some guys that I noticed, especially with girlfriends, who are kind of clingy and are working basic jobs, not going to school, lagging it, yet gives everything to their girl and I'm like *barf* Not sure if she finds that attractive in a guy, obviously she does, but to me, its sad when people devote all their time for someone else and not themselves, first. My ex boyfriend was pretty much that. We met in college and he kept mentioning how I motivated him to graduate and chase what he really wants rather than sitting back and taking it easy. He says "I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for you." Well good because I definitely didn't want a bf who all he cared about was our relationship. I wanted someone with his own hobbies, interests, goals, etc and I found that with the guy I'm dating which is why we take it slow because we're not ready to completely devote all our time to each other. We want to enjoy our time individually as much as we can but we like each other so we're dating. So obviously he has own priorities and I may not be his NUMBER ONE but I embrace that and it really turns me on. That also has to do if you're dating an athlete. His number one passion will always be that sport and you're just going to have to support it and not take it too personal if he makes you his second passion. I believe though that most girls do want all the attention and commitment in the world. I don't know why but I know I don't. I wish more girls were like that so they wouldn't chase all the guys away. But people operate differently so I just know that just because I don't mind him not prioritizing me first, doesn't mean I'm letting him walk all over me. Noooo, there's a balance that compromising makes it happen.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 33 votes (25 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I couldn't read that whole thing, but if you'll let me give my opinion on just the title, cool. If not, delete it.
    I have never put any of my women second. Nor first. If I am in a relationship, then my lady is my partner, an equal. We are a team. She does not walk two steps behind and I would never turn my back on her when I receive a phone call, to talk privately. Well, unless I was planning a surprise party or something.
    Perhaps one day you will be fortunate enough to have a partnership and you will understand.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I get what you're saying but my post a little different I think. Maybe you should read the post but if its too long for you, I can sum it up.

      We're taking it slow because we want to pursue our own individual goals before we settle down. I find it attractive when a man has his own hobbies and goals. He has his own life and doesn't depend on a girl or throw himself to her. I said in the beginning of the post, that it seems kind of feminine to me. So I'm okay with being second for now because I respect his space and his dreams. Once we're ready to settle down, then we'll be each other's equals like you defined it.

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  • JohnJohnsonSmith
    8 years ago

    It is normal in women. When you (women) know of a guy that has fallen in love with you and would do whatever you want you are instantly turned off. You identify that as a sign of weakness.

    Thats because if you are a guy and love a woman, you must act like if she is not that important first, everybody knows that.

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  • DangerousPotatoGuy
    9 years ago

    I think this is normal, different strokes or different folks. Its good to let your SO pursue his/her dream and not have them prioritize your relationship all the time. But, sometimes it can stretch your relationship too thin. When you do need attention, something pops up he has to go somewhere and he can't be over for the holidays or something, worse when you eventually have kids.

    The best way to put this is to find what works for both of you, if this floats your boat then you're good.

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