Is it normal if i like lust more than love?

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5 Comments

Im not sure if I love or lust my boyfriend. I do care about him, seeing him happy makes me happy, I see a future with him, I like working things out with him not just leave him, so at the end of the day, I think I do love him. But there is also lust. Lust is when I'm crushing on him which is like all the time. I get the same exciting feelings I got in the beginning. I hit on him and I'm just like omg I want him I love him so much! I can't keep my hands to myself, if I can kiss him 24/7 I would. So when I question is it love or lust? Like I said, I think its love but at the same time, even if it is lust then so be it because I think lust is more exciting than love. I think lust is what keeps a relationship going. For ex, I love my ex but there is no lust there. So that's why we're over. I struggle with my boyfriend now, but Im willing to work it out because I lust him and love him. Its that excitement and attraction. So whenever someone tries to make me feel bad or make someone else feel bad about "lusting" someone and it's not love, I don't care because its not a bad thing in the end. I think you need it.

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95% Normal
Based on 20 votes (19 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • The_Creep_is_back
    8 years ago

    If you always have lust, you will live happily ever after.

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  • randomdeviant
    8 years ago

    You know, I've always found it weird when people went around treating love and lust as mutually exclusive things, or saying one is WAY more important than the other (though if anything, I think love is more, at least in my case. Because for me lust may come and go depending on hormones/mood/novelty factors/whatever, but love usually can't) ... Like, you usually still need both to make relationships work out anyways, no? :S

    It's true that they often come separately though (like in your case with your ex), and confusing one thing for the other is not uncommon, either. Besides, your feelings can change throught the relationship, esp when it comes to lust. Personally have struggled with this quite a bit in the past, but time usually makes things more clear. But maybe it's too early to judge if you are still in "honeymoon phase" (from your description this seems to be the case, correct me if i'm wrong?). Anyways, good luck

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yeah I do believe lust runs out more than love which is sometimes why relationships break up cause they just don't have that longing and attraction for them anymore. You know like when they say "I still love you and always will but..." that exciting spark isn't there anymore which is why I think lust is a bit more important than love unless you can live without the lust then go ahead and continue your relationship but that's where cheating and betrayal occurs when your partner starts lusting for someone else.

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      • randomdeviant
        8 years ago

        I see from where you're coming from, but like we've both said, lust really does seem to run out more quickly.

        And really, it's natural for it to decrease a bit after some time... You get more used to your lover, so you don't get that overwhelming "butterflies on the stomach" feeling every single time you see them anymore. You don't get as agitated around them, and nor do you have the same idealized view of them you likely had at the start of the relationship. Sometimes the lust goes away completely, and even when it doesn't it's likely going to decrease. Doesn't mean you are necessarily less attracted though -- just less desperately so I guess.

        The problem is, you can work to keep that flame alive so to speak, but even if you manage to do so it'll NOT be the same as it was at the start -- it'll never be, but it can be just as fullfilling, if not more, provided both partners are aware and willing to work on it (provided this is a healthy relationship, they should ofc . If it's not, no use even wasting time). It's just different, and expecting it to be otherwise... Well, I'm sorry but that's utterly unrealistic and immature. If you can't cope with it it's likely that you'll just jump from one person to another without ever really settling down. It's still MUCH better than cheating, so if there's no other way it's prefferable, I can't see anyone ever being REALLY happy this way, either. But maybe that's just me, idk.

        Sorry I'm kinda drunk right so not sure if i'm much making sense haha. But oh well.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    8 years ago

    Kill it with fire.

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