Is it normal if i just hate jealousy?

70% Normal

I hate jealous people! Jealousy gets in the way of having a good, positive, overall time. So basically, I hate dealing with insecure people. Please evaluate yourself, then fix your flaws then hang out with friends or something. Being in denial of it is even worse. It's fine to be insecure, we all are...but it's how you go about it and majority of people go the jealous route. It's not fair to the other person (s) when they didn't do anything but simply exist. For example, what's ticking me off right now is my "best friend." She has always had a jealous issue and has recognized it but has had a really difficult time fixing it. She's too stubborn or too slow to control her jealousy. It has cost her relationship and now it's costing our friendship. A while ago, I got to catch up with her and her bf (theyve been together for 6+ years and we have been close around the same time). Her bf was being nice, and I freaken swear he was NOT hitting on me. We had conversations from the CA drought to religion to school/work etc. She was just quiet the whole time. Eventually, she admitted it to us that she got jealous of me because he was talking to only me, which wasn't our fault that she doesn't know how to have a conversation. What do you want us to do? Bow and invite you to our convo? Sigh...really? Jealous of your best friend and your bf talking/catching up since we haven't seen each other for like 3 years. She killed the night just cause she was unhappy. The next day me and her hung out with my former best guy friend who has been hanging out with her recently since I've been away. Again, he was happy to see me and she was just in the background not talking. NOT OUR FAULT. She wants all the attention and once she gets it and feels secure, then its okay for everyone else to have a good time.

This makes me feel dumb but in a way its true...on instagram she doesn't get much "likes" compared to me. Not to mention, she never likes my pics. All of a sudden, she goes from 8 likes to 72 likes the next picture. Hmmm..something's fishy. I feel like she has done one of those slick ways of getting more followers/likes through an app or something. But since then, she has started liking my pics. Why? Cause now ur getting more than me? I feel like she is not a true friend. Once they see you do better, they're not happy anymore. I haven't gotten to hang out with her and waiting for her to hit me up. Once we do though, which i hope is soon cause I need to get this out of me, I am going to put her on the spot and either end the friendship or tell her she needs to fix herself or else its over. It's sad because it's like you were never my real friend then. She looks fake and I don't want to associate myself with people of that poor quality.

Voting Results

70% Normal

Based on 10 votes (7 yes)

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Comments ( 15 )

howaminotmyself

9 years ago

Let it all out.

Some friends take a lot of energy. It may be time to take a step back and give her less attention. Once a best friend, doesn't mean always a best friend. People often do grow apart.

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Petrichor.

9 years ago

Well, I'm happy you were able to get that off your chest. It's good to vent. I would not hate jealous people if I were you though, because it's draining to harbor negativity like that. Hating the act of jealously (not the person) is completely fine, though, as long as you don't let it consume you.

But I'm sorry, I have no more words for you. I just want to let you know that I completely understand your situation. And I hope your friend will see the error of her ways soon.

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MeowMeowMeowMeowMeow

9 years ago

Then don't associate with her anymore if she irritates to this extent. Simple solution to a simple problem. I doubt she would even care.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I know she does care but her poor efforts in controlling her jealousy confuses me. She just doesn't want to try, she complains to me about her relationship all the time and how that's just who she is. If her bf is not going to leave her and make her realize this shit, I will. And if she doesn't care, it's probably because now she can rely on social media to lift her self-esteem up and doesn't need real, in-person friends anymore who accepts who she really is. Stupid.
  
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wistfulmaiden

9 years ago

Jealousy is self- defeating; it's admitting someone is better than yourself.

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iEatZombies_

9 years ago

The only thing I'm noticing is that guys talk to you more than her, which is jealous worthy. Even her boyfriend couldn't help talking you up a storm. She probably wants to talk, but everyone seems more interested in what you have to say. Sounds like a perfectly good reason to be jealous, especially because you keep soaking up the attention. Going on and on like the life of the party. It's not that you have something and she doesn't, it's that you're taking something from her. She does fine talking to them alone (apparently- they talk to her), then you show up and she's on the backburner to them. I don't think you do it on purpose, but that's what happens.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I can't believe what I just read. Sounds like you're making me look like the bad one and like you can relate to her. Maybe you have some you're jealous of. It's okay that she's angry with herslf deep inside because she knows she doesn't know how to have a conversation cause she lacks knowledge? Wahh. I support her flaws until she does something stupid like this. Once she sees someone better than her, everyone has to have a bad time until shes happy again.
  Exactly its not on purpose and its NOT MY FAULT that what I'm more interesting? okay. I probably am more interesting to talk to because she said it herself, she's boring to talk to and her bf got to let out a lot of conversation with me that he can't have with her. It's a low self-esteem issue she has and like I said, she needs to fix that in order to stop killing everyones time. Her issue not ours. She would always come talk to me about girls she thinks her bf is trying to get with and now me? her "best friend?" No. She needs more confidence in herself and I see her low self-esteem and still accept her. The problem I have here is she is not a true friend if she feels like she can only be my "friend" when SHE is happy. We're supposed to support each other on our way up not only on our way down. She sucks for this. That's why I said I hate most insecure/jealous people because they're the debbie downers because in reality, they don't dislike the other person, they dislike themselves and that's our fault? No.
  
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  - iEatZombies_
    
    9 years ago
    
    So.. Did you come here to get people to side with you or to offer you perspective? It sounds like the former. Quite frankly, you're trying to make your friend look like a jerk so you can justify ending your friendship with her because you feel she's too needy. Just say she's too needy and end it. Don't further crush her self-esteem by ranting and raving, calling her a piece of shit.
    You're just trying to turn everything onto her so you don't have to take responsibility for not being a great, supportive friend yourself.
    You're the one saying she has low self-esteem and you're gonna make sure she knows that nobody wants her around on top of it. If me pointing that out makes you feel like a jerk, that's probably a sign for you to think about how insensitive you're being to her.
    As for my own past, again I see how you like to turn things around on others. It couldn't possibly be that I'm a decent person, I must understand her because -gasp- I AM her! It's called compassion. Get some.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Lol wowzers again I can't believe what I just read. First of all, you CANNOT say I am not a supportive friend because you don't know us. So that was stupid.
      
      The point is...it is unfair for everyone else to have a bad time just cause she is which leads me to feeling like she has been a fake friend this whole time. You're right, she is needy...that's another term I was missing to describe her. Thanks for that.
      
      It looks like I'm talking major sh*t about her, but all I'm doing is venting because I'm frustrated since I thought she was a friend. If it was anyone else, I can care less. All of this though about her is completely true so it's not really talking sh*t. Basically everything I've said on here I'm going to tell her so I don't forget something. As a GOOD FRIEND, I want to talk to her and give her another chance rather than just walk away as annoying as sh*t she is being.
      
      And insensitive? please...that's exactly what she wants from all of us as her bf even said...she wants everyone to baby her and chase her and make her feel better then once she does, pple can continue on.
      
      It sucks after like two years of not seeing each other as much, she is still the same, jealous, insecure person I met. I thought she grew up like all of us did. Ive been there for her everytime she would feel like a piece of sh*t even that night of me and her bf. We stayed and talk and I was comforting her making her know that she's crazy to think we were flirting or something. Like I said, if her bf isn't going to leave her, I will if she is not going to change.
      
      And I am not being a jerk, I am being honest, not a fake friend like she could possibly be.
      
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      - iEatZombies_
        
        9 years ago
        
        Yeah, you're still coming off as a troublemaker. Sorry. You should end the friendship. She'd be better off.
        
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anti-hero

9 years ago

Tomorrow we can drive around this town, and let the cops chase us around.

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MissDethstar

9 years ago

This all made sense until the likes on instagram shit.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I know it sounds stupid but there's some truth in it.
  
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PieGoblin^^

9 years ago

Sigh..

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Kolo_Toure

9 years ago

kolo

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Are You Normal?

Is it normal if i just hate jealousy?