Is it normal if i hope no one is like me?

38% Normal

Some people know they're bad or did something bad but do they ever hope that nobody is as bad as they are? Personally, I'm not a bad person but I couldve done better things. For example, my ex was all for me but I never felt satisfaction with him. I saw how happy he was with me but for me it wasn't enough. Honestly he was a good bf but I had my own I guess you can say stubborn reasons to not stay with him.I look back and wish I can find the strength to give him a chance but I can't find it. Now I've been seeing this guy and the way I feel about him is probably how my ex felt for me. I'm all for him, I keep giving him chances like my ex did with me no matter how many times I hurt him or the guy I've been seeing has hurt me. I look weak like my ex looked to me. Its a really icky feeling knowing the way my ex looks to me is the way I look to this guy I am crazy for. I hope its all in my head though and I don't look like my ex. Now, maybe I do look like my ex and if I do, well I hope this guy is not like me and will give me a chance and look through my flaws unlike how I didn't do with my ex. Maybe not everyone is like me and wouldnt do what I did to my ex. I really wish though I can give my ex a chance but I can't find it in me and I don't want to pretend, that'll be a waste of our time. So in the end, I want this guy so much and hope he does have the strength to love and appreciate me regardless of my flaws. Karma is a b*tch and itll be sucha b*tch if the way he feels about me is the way i feel about my ex. Then for sure Ill never have him. I hope he isn't like me.

Voting Results

38% Normal

Based on 8 votes (3 yes)

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Comments ( 12 )

kelili

9 years ago

When I was twenty I had a boyfriend who was nearly perfect. He had pretty good manners, respected I, had a house etc... His mother loved me like her own daughter and everyone was happy that I was with him. However it didn't work. I knew he loved me like crazy and I think that I didn't love him as much. I broke up with him after he asked me for marriage and now I am very happy I did that. I would not have been happy with him. There were times when I wanted to get back with him because he was a good guy but now I'm happy I didn't, I would have hurt him later.

As for your present relationship you should put a cross on it. You should love yourselves much more than you love anybody else. I believe you deserve better and there's no such thing like karma. You have the power to change the situation. Get away from him and start anew.

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mountain-man82

9 years ago

What were your stubborn reasons for not giving the ex a chance? Do you see any of those stubborn reasons with your new man?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I just feel like I'm not good enough for him and idk if that's why he acts indifferent with me when were in public with friends. I never really acted indifferent with my ex in public because we were an actual couple unlike me and my current guy. Because I wasn't satisfied with him and his personality style, feelings faded away and as I tried to give him a chance there was no spark that last. With the current guy, he is everything I ever dreamed of plus bonuses. The only thing that lacks is his interest in me. Maybe he is interested in me but he doesn't know how to portray it. Most likely though, he's not as into me. The way he acts around me like not interested and whatever reminds me of how I used to act with my ex. So it scares me to know that he could possibly feel the same way and with that, hell never give me a chance just like I'll never give my ex a chance. Oh and I just realized I remember trying to convince my ex to be some sort of friends with benefits than to be serious and he was like no way Im not gonna be friends w benefits with someone I love. Now the tables have turned. The current guy hasn't made a move to make it official with me. We have talked bout it and he says he would want me to be his Gf but he doesn't show it. We have been on the same page to not be official but now I understand how my ex felt when he said he can't be just whatever with someone he loves. As much as I like the idea of not being official but being an item, its a different situation when its with someone you love. Throughout our relation, I couldn't stand the idea of him being wit another girl. He said he never got with another girl maybe talked but that's it and he was just into me. As for me, I remained loyal to him. So he doesn't wanna get serious with me perhaps cause he's not as interested just like I didn't wanna get serious with my ex cause I wasn't interested in him.
  
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  - mountain-man82
    
    9 years ago
    
    Did you cheat on your ex with him? That could be one reason for not wanting to make it official. If a woman cheats on her bf and then gets into a relationship with the person she was cheating with, many men will say once a cheater always a cheater and treat them differently because they feel like the woman will eventually cheat on them too. Or it could be that he doesnt really want an actual relationship. Maybe you should try putting it all out there with him. Do what your ex probably did and explain your feelings to him. Let him know that you dont feel like hes really into you. If he doesnt change then maybe find a guy that will treat you better. How long were you with the ex and how long with the new guy? Was there a space of time between them? He may feel like a rebound. Just talk to him.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Hmm..well I met this guy when I was on rocky terms with my ex. It was around that time when I was trying to convince him to be friends with benefits but he didn't want to. I met the current guy and all I thought was he was cute but didn't want to pursue him. But you can say he eventually made the decision easier to break up with him. I didn't break up with my bf for another guy. Me and him were already rocky and I was ready to be single. But the current guy knew I had a bf because he tried to hit on me and told him no I couldn't. So yeah you're right it could be because he thinks I'll leave him for another like it looks like I did but wow if I have remained loyal to him without being official, they say you need to wife that girl. I was all for him, I could have been with other guys and date around but i genuinely didn't want to. I felt like I was his and he was mine even if we weren't official. I was with my ex for two years and its going to be year with this guy that we have been talking. I don't think he's afraid of me possibly cheating on him because all those times we talked about being together officially, he never mentioned that that was one of the reasons. He also shouldn't feel like a rebound because Ive been consistent with him for almost a year without being official. We have always said we didn't want to be official because we're too busy so yeah I get it but I guess thats what i thought I wanted. I didn't know I would fall for him this deep, and now I can't deny that I want him to be my bf. But to me, he obviously doesn't like me as much to make things work as couple despite what we said in the beginning about not being together based on our priorities. If he really liked me as much as I liked him, he would try and make it work just like I am willing to.
      
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      - mountain-man82
        
        9 years ago
        
        Actually, in most peoples eyes, being official is different than just being together occasionally. Maybe you should tell him all that you have told me and let him know that you want to make it official. If he agrees then hopefully that'll change how he acts, and if he disagrees then you know that you should probably leave him.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        The thing is we don't live in the same city anymore. We might be 2 hrs away from each other but its still far. So even if I tell him, he's going to say that he wishes we can be together but how can we when we're far away from each other now. Before I left, I wanted to leave him a letter explaining all my feelings for him because in person, it gets awkward and he is not a good communicator. I feel like we can discuss things over text which might not be good but thats just how its been so I figured rather than a plain text, I wanted to leave him a letter. But I forgot to. So now I'm just waiting for him to contact me and bring up about us not just a hey or something. I'm waiting for him to tell me he misses me even though I just left yesterday but this week I am hoping he gives me a text saying he misses me and maybe from there I'll tell him all of this. I just wish I can tell him in person but as much as I would want to, he's not going to give in. He knows he doesn't know how to have a conversation and express himself.
        
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MonAmour

9 years ago

This is quite the emotional roller coaster you have been accustomed to. Have you had the chance to experience a partner that treats you as an equal? I only mention this because you seem to be locked in a power struggle with these relationships.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Actually not really. There have only been two guys I've had strong feelings for and neither relationship was equal. The first one with my ex I didn't like him as much as he did. The second one doesn't like me as much as I like him. I also look at it and hope that third times a charm and so the next guy I get involved with will be a combination of both of them where he loves me as much as my ex did but also has all the good qualities that i love about the second guy. It would be perfect if he appreciated me and treated me like my ex did. I would be the happiest girl in the world and not this destroyed, helpless little girl.
  
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dom180

9 years ago

It's impossible to go through life without making some mistakes. The important thing is how you learn from them going forward. You should channel your regret into making a positive change in the way you think about other people, and you can't do that if you keep believing you deserve to be treated badly.

Also, dump your current guy. If someone keeps hurting you that means something is wrong. This isn't karma. You don't deserve to be treated badly because of mistakes you made in the past. Stop worrying about how you look to him, stop worrying about whether he will forgive your flaws. What matters is you. Sometimes breaking up on your own terms - standing up for yourself and taking the power back from someone who tries to manipulate you - is the only way you can get anything positive out of a hurtful relationship.

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DoctorAngelDust

9 years ago

You can't reciprocate feelings that you do not have. You may just be the type of woman who enjoys pursuing men rather than being pursued and the only fault in your scenario is that this current man isn't reciprocating. If you become unhappy with him, leave him and continue searching. There are plenty of men out there who would love to be with a woman who pursues them.

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Is it normal if i hope no one is like me?