Is it normal if i hate not talking to my bf?

74% Normal
26 Comments

Of course I dislike not talking to my bf which is normal but I think its weird when couples don't talk to each other after a fight. I'm kind of like why are you in a relationship if you're not gonna talk to each other? I.E. my bf and I apparently are giving each other the silent treatment after a small argument. I mean I don't feel like talking to him cause I'm simply upset but at the same time I feel weird cause i think we should be talking and communicating trying to solve our problem. It almost feels like a waste of time . so far its only been a day and as much as I feel relaxed from not speaking to him, I think it's wasted day in our relationship. Kind of annoys me. Kind of want to rewind and this time talk.

Voting Results
74% Normal
Based on 23 votes (17 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • Rusty-Rider
    8 years ago

    Sounds to me like immature behaviour. If you don't discuss problems you encounter in a relationship, it is doomed to failure.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      It is and its all him. I can't argue and leave it at that. It needs to be solved right away. With him its different. He prefers to forget about it and move on but he doesn't see that's how more problems will occur.

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      • Rusty-Rider
        8 years ago

        Speaking from my own experience, it becomes cumulative and eventually will explode. At that point, the situation may or may not be able to be resolved so why push it.
        Weed through the smaller problems at the time they occur and they can be dealt with relatively easily and can then be put behind you.
        All you can do is try to explain it to him and hope he understands the possible consequences.
        Good Luck

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Yeah that's true. In this case, I have no idea why were not talking. He did something rude and from there there was tension then we left it at that. So he "apologized" but I know as in "I don't wanna deal with this" and he was still acting weird which made me stress out cause things were not solved. Now were not talking cause literally who knows why? There's something in his mind thats making him not talk to me even if he says everything is fine. He said the next day which was yesterday would be back to normal and he didn't talk to me all day so obviously things weren't back to normal. This is why we need to talk it out. Its a little thing turned to a big thing.

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          • Rusty-Rider
            8 years ago

            I am not a psychologist. I am only only talking from past personal experience. It sounds to me as though you might be better to move on. I don't think you will ever be able to have a serious relationship with that guy until he grows up somewhat.
            You sound like you're trying to be an adult in the confusion of the situation but I don't see any way you can rectify the problem without his input and he doesn't seem to want to bend to rules of common sense.
            Maybe a temporary separation would do you both good. Give him some time to figure out what he really wants out the relationship and give yourself some time to clear your head.
            It might not be the answer you were looking for but it's the one that makes the most sense to me.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              I have thought about a "break" but at the same time, it doesn't make sense to me when we want to be together. We want to be together but our differences are making it harder. If we take a break, we're gonna be thinking about each other, missing each other, etc when we could be together.

              But I understand what you're saying. I think I am just gonna stay with him and be there as he grows up until something really bad happens that leaves me no choice but to leave him.

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  • 53739
    8 years ago

    You should tell him how you feel

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I would but unfortunately he makes me feel needy when I tell him how I feel cause he doesn't like to talk about it. Its me doing everything so it looks like I'm this needy annoying Gf but its only cause he's not communicating w me.

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      • Ellenna
        8 years ago

        He can't MAKE you feel anything. If you can't tell him how you feel what's the point in being in a relationship with him?

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      • mysistersshadow
        8 years ago

        If this isn't the situation you want to be in then change it. Its obvious that the way it works doesn't work for you and it doesn't sound like its a problem for him.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Thats where it kind of sucks because I dont like the situation and could change it and Ive been trying but unfortunately, I cannot change his behavior, only he can. Dont get me wrong though, things have been much better than before. He does put some effort in communicating, slowly but surely but its times like these where I'm confused at what to do. Honestly, I think what Im more annoyed of is its happening again after not dealing with this behavior in a while. Just when I thought we were on a good run, the same stuff creeps back in.

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          • mysistersshadow
            8 years ago

            Its never going to change. If you can except that then your in the perfect relationship if not maybe start looking at your options.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              I have accepted most of his personality which is why we have come this far. So not sure what else to do but like I said in another comment, I think Im just gonna stay with him like I have been until something really bad happens that leaves me no choice but to leave him. We want to be together but our differences just make it harder so we're just gonna take it as far as we can. And I dont feel like im wasting my time because like i said, we want to be together. If we're not together, were gonna miss each other so yeah.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    8 years ago

    Hugs are the universal language of forgiveness.

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  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    I'm not a fan of the silent treatment.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Me too I don't know how to break the silence though without sounding like everything's okay. Plus, I would like it if he contacted me since hes the one who messed up but he never admits his problems.

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      • RoseIsabella
        8 years ago

        Sounds like you're dating my mom! Sorry I couldn't resist saying that. The thing is that my mom never admits when she's wrong or says she's sorry. I'm not a big fan of that sort of behavior.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Lol yeah it's been a headache dealing with his stubborn behavior. He either doesn't admit it or he plays victim and sometimes I think hes just messing with me but idk it's weird. Overall though, Ive accepted most of his behavior and its not that bad when its someone you really love and wanna be with.

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          • RoseIsabella
            8 years ago

            Maybe he's really Codependent?

            http://coda.org/
            http://coda.org/index.cfm/meeting-materials1/patterns-and-characteristics-2011/

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              no I don't think so, Im not sure how codependency is relevant to stubborn?

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