Is it normal if i had a dream about smacking him?

What does this mean? I mean, I do feel this anger inside of me about my bf. He makes me really happy. When I am with him in his presence, I just feel so happy and good with him. But deep inside, I can't let go of everything that hes done to make me suffer. Its really hard to hold back from loving him cause I just love him a lot but I wish I had the strong will to hold back sometimes when I think of all the bad times. Some of those bad times include denying me, lieing to me, disrespecting me, avoiding me, and other stuff. The past is really ugly. Just full of emotional rides. The root of all the problems was because we weren't official but yet we acted like a real couple so you know all those mixed signals would send me to hell. I know the easy answer was to just walk away but I couldn't.

He's my first love, hes the first guy, in fact person, to make me vulnerable. Ive never felt so vulnerable where I'm like really understanding, forgiving, soft, etc. So I was just stuck in an emotional rut. Today, things are much better but they are so much better that when one of his old bad habits creep up again, it hurts even more. Like I said, I am much happier with him now because of his effort but sometimes I can't help but feel that anger inside. Its usually when he makes me laugh a lot and just really happy then I remember the times he made me suffer and I try not to go all out and hold back a little.

So I had this dream where he was at my house and he did something that pissed me off and I didn't hold back anything, I just yelled and eventually slapped his face. He looked at me of course in a shocking way and it just ended there. You know when you wake up and still feel like you're in your dream? When I woke up, I still felt the slap and anger in me and it felt so freaken good. Its like something I really do wanna do to him or it just finally let me let go of all the anger, well some of it, in a good way, hence, in a dream not in real life. I wish I can do that in real life and have him forgive me and we move on but that prob won't happen. He would prob just tell me its over and that'll be the end. So idk what this dream means or if its trying to tell me something.