Is it normal if i feel sad about not taking him back?

76% Normal
10 Comments

I'm having some trippy thoughts after splitting from the bf. It's weird because obviously I was hurt in the beginning it sucked, it didn't feel good even though I saw all the red flags. I didn't wanna believe we were actually over because yes I loved him and he is my first love so it felt like it couldnt be over. So it's been like four months already but we didn't go cold turkey after splitting. Weve been in contact every now and then but it's all been from him which is weird cause he's the one who wanted to split. So at first I thought he missed me because what else could the explanation be for him messaging me? However I kept getting told that he was just using me as a backup plan but didn't believe it because it was just too black and white. Like what if he does miss me and doesn't know what he really wants? Well fast forward, I'm now starting to believe that he is using me as a backup plan.

He's an attractive guy outside and inside so I'm sure he can get any girl but will they please him like I did? I don't think so so I feel like when they don't respond or he's feeling lonely, he knows I'll always respond and be there for him so he contacts me. Sadly this could be the case so I'm now losing desire to take him back in the future. As much as I want to because as said before, he was my first love and I'm just crazy about him, he doesn't appreciate me. It's hard but I think I'm never going to take him back...I can't. It'll feel like I'm his last option. I kind of want to tell him this the next time he contacts me and tell him to stop because he lost me by treating me like a backup plan. I'm sad cause I really wanted us to end up together but right now I'm feeling like he's just a bad guy and I need to move on.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 29 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    Cut your losses and run.

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    • Dreimy18
      7 years ago

      Yes it's normal

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  • Ellenna
    7 years ago

    Keep the last five words of your post in the forefront of your mind every day, repeat them out loud every night and morning and one day soon you'll realise you have moved on

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  • CDmale4fem
    7 years ago

    Keep these words in mind "Someone can only do to you what you allow them to." And "The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone."

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  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    You didn't miss out on an opportunity, and so far you're doing the right thing, just need to cut all contact. Here's the thing, disrespectful men like your ex will find another relationship eventually, they always do, but if the girl is smart like you, she'll see the red flags and run.

    For example, an ex I had that was really bad, but before I knew it I found out from his friends that all his relationships only last a few months, and that I'm the longest he ever had. It wasn't because he loved me, but because I ignored all the red flags and allowed him to disrespect me. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. Despite the strong feelings I had for him, I couldn't live with being treated that way.

    You need to cut all contact and keep reminding yourself of the disrespect he shown you. You're going to have ups and downs, but you'll get through it. Good luck!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Yeah there would have to be a miracle at this point for me to take him back. But honestly it sucks cause I really wanted us to be together and thought this was just a break that would last who knows how long but based on his actions recently, it just makes me feel used and under appreciated. Yes he's talking to me but is it cause he misses me? Or cause he has no one else? Even tho he has a friends and things to do, he could be in need of intimacy and the only girl who he thinks will always respond is me so f*ck that. I can't wait for the next time he contacts me so I can either ignore him or have the courage to confront him about how I'm feeling and officially end it. It'll be hard but it's what needs to be done. If he says it's not the case then I don't know how he can prove it but well see

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  • xXThatonechickXx
    7 years ago

    Fuck him

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  • FORUMiadableFucker0
    7 years ago

    He is just a bad guy and you do need to move on, some people do this with partners in their relationships when they feel the person they are with is inadequate to themselves aka they think they can do better. You sound like a smart, nice person and so I recommend you cut all contact with him, find a new guy who you are sure won't do this to you; forget him and get married. Best of luck.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      Yeah this is one of the red flags. He's always made me feel not good enough, not directly but just his facial expressions or body language would say it all. Plus you can just sense it. It just sucks how I'm losing hope for us even though I know it's the right thing. Unless a miracle happens, there's no way I can take him back. I'd feel like so gross about myself.

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      • FORUMiadableFucker0
        7 years ago

        Well it is good that you at least notice these signs and realize what to do. Now if you can do that it would be in the right direction.

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