Is it normal if i feel like i brought my bf and sister together?

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I feel like my bf and sister are a better match for each other than me and him. It incredibly sucks. They are just so similar in so many ways from their style to the things they say to their taste in things etc. Its kind of annoying. Even though she has a bf and they're pretty good, you never know. Plus, I know she thinks he's cute and as for my bf, I don't know but I wouldn't be surprised if he thought she was cute too. They're also closer in age. Its annoying as hell, did I mention that already? The worse part is Im crazy about him so it's harder to let him go. If I can let go of her, I would. But I can't. If he was whatever for me or I didn't like him that much, I wouldn't care Id be like okay its over like no problem. But no it had to be the only guy Ive ever actually cared for and loved. I feel like they were meant to be and I brought them together. It's so sad. Trust me, I try not to believe what I think all the time especially this, but coincidences keep happening. Ill hear her say something that he would say or that he did say and vice versa. It's almost like I'm dating my sister the guy version. What doesn't help is I know he looks down on me sometimes, but he's mentioned he's crazy about my personality and wants to be with me in the long-run, not in those words exactly but kinda hinted it. So i dont know what to do. In fact, I've been wanting all of us to hang out so I can see how much theyll get along, itll be awkward as hell but if God is on my side, hell make them not get along. Thats truly how I feel.

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Based on 10 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • flamer180
    8 years ago

    You shouldnt wish negative things on your sister or your bf.

    If they get along, then they do. You're jealous of them. I can understand why. But you should be happy with yourself, and try to be happy with your bf.

    If your bf and you are happy together, he should want to be with you. And you shouldnt have to worry.

    Know inside yourself, that he is yours.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I am jealous, it's annoying whenever I discover yet another thing that is common between them. I do get jealous, I hate it. So thats why Im not sure how to handle it or what to do. I don't want to let go of my bf. do I just sit back and watch? sounds really torturous.

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      • flamer180
        8 years ago

        Yea jealousy can tear a person down, Ive had to deal with the bullshit myself.

        Thats why you just gotta try to spend more time with him than your sister does, that could help. Then you should have a stronger sense of security.

        Really though, the thing thats gonna help you the most, is having a sense of security inside yourself, that you know in your heart that he IS your boyfriend, and your sister cant take him away from you. You gotta trust your sister and your boyfriend, if something happens, then you get mad.

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  • lovelylipzzz
    8 years ago

    Sounds like a total head peck..they both must mean the World to you but just have it out with them ...watch body language..an just explain on a serious note ti them hows its been making you feel xx

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  • klebo
    8 years ago

    I was thinking about your situation a little last night.....I think you are worried about losing him because your friend and him have more in common, maybe you can try to do the things he likes to do,not only that find your own stuff together to enjoy, sorry you are feeling like this,people find attraction from others and who knows maybe you guys are not meant to be together, just take it one day at a time and find out ahead of time is way better than a year from now if you guys are not compatible, share your feelings to him about it, if he cares he will care about you and hopefully he would not talk about her like he does with you, good luck and seriously I would take you anytime ; )

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  • klebo
    8 years ago

    I wold love to have you

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  • Terence_the_viking
    8 years ago

    Eye melting non paragraphs.

    FUCK SAKE YOU STUPID FIX YOUR PARAGRAPH.

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  • Tealights
    8 years ago

    Just talk to him about it, however, avoid accusing him of liking her.

    If he gets overly defensive or jumps down your throat about it, then he probably does like her. If he smiles a lot, fidgets, or turns away before answering, then he probably surprise you noticed and preparing to tell you lie.

    What you're looking for is him remaining calm, and just telling you how he feels with ease. As in, he's not tense or anything, maybe a little hurt that you don't believe in his love for you (if he loves you), but he shouldn't make your distrust the main focus, but instead try to figure out why this is making you so upset.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yeah I mean if he gets defensive it can go either way. He's either guilty or shocked and thinks I'm crazy for thinking such things. Also, for some reason which doesn't help, I can see him doing the second stuff more...like smiling and saying like "what? why?"

      But you know he has jokingly accused me of liking his friend and cousin. He would say things like "so get with him" or "you want him to come I'll tell him to come if you want him to come so badly." It'll be funny if he feels the same way ; I'm more compatible with his friend and cousin than with him. And in my perspective, I wouldn't care if we are or not because in love my bf and he's it so I would hope he would feel the same way if I jokingly accused him of being compatible with her.

      I would like to bring it up like that but like I said it would create more tension if he officially knows I am insecure about all of this so I rather keep it to myself

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      • Tealights
        8 years ago

        Jokingly accusing... that's not a good sign. The more you describe him, the more he's starting to sound emotionally manipulative.

        I understand the feeling of love is a powerful thing, but it really sounds like you're sacrificing your self-respect for this guy and you don't seem completely happy in the relationship.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          Maybe, thats what everyone says and I just don't believe he is being manipulative. The reason why is cause I think he isn't aware of the things he does. So in a way he's innocent? and he doesn't mean to manipulate me emotionally.

          But at the same time, yeah I can admit I have sacrificed a lot of self-respect, if you wanna put it that way. Im usually not that way but like you said, love is a powerful thing and it makes you vulnerable. This is the first time Ive ever felt this way, where I lose my pride and guard especially for someone. I get insecure such as this whole thing with the other person and it drives me nuts. I remember when I used to not care about anything and things were a lot less stressful. Now I just naturally care but when it comes to anything that has to do with him.

          But as I said before, he has jokingly accused me of that. Joking around for him has always been a way for him to get through something without real confrontation or stress. He just doesn't like confrontation or tension so in this case, he just joked about it like "oh want me to bring him over here?" Ill be like "um no" he's like "oh haha okay." If I confront him "do you think I have a thing for him? cause if you do I don't" and then he goes "what? no haha" Ugh and then he acts like he had nothing to do with me bringing that subject up when actually he did, he asked for it.

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          • Tealights
            8 years ago

            There really aren't any excuses for him unless you allow them to be.

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  • Cuntsiclestick
    8 years ago

    Sounds like you're getting worried for no reason.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I wish, I hope so, I pray that this is the case. but in reality, I get so depressed, sometimes cry myself to sleep like why do messed up things happen to me? This would be the cherry on top

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  • thedog
    8 years ago

    If you've been in a serious relationship with him for a while, you're sister shouldn't date him--that would be a super shitty thing to do. I once had the chance to screw my bother's ex girlfriend (they were serious), but I didn't, even though I find her attractive.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      *than

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Well see it can go either way. Humans do shitty things, it doesn't matter if its messed up that prob won't stop it from happening after all, shit happens. Then it can turn out like you, yeah they both have a thing for each other but they won't do anything about it because it's a messed up thing to do to me. Either way, the truth is there. Both ways are extremely shitty. Heck I rather have them be open about it and start dating then secretly into each other. It makes me so depressed.

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      • Eagwol
        8 years ago

        I Agree, people do shitty things. Now back in the day I had more morals than I have now. I Suppose the years made me more selfish and not being sorry. I Also have been less caring because I know caring only hurts you more if you care too much.

        When I was 22 my best friend was the other guy. And when I had the chance to do the same to him I didn't. But ask me these days and I would. And wouldn't be sorry about it either, other people shouldn't ruin things if it doesn't work out for them, if another person is a match for them it shouldn't stop them from dating.

        I made out with a woman in a relationship saying they have a open relationship, I didn't do it because it was a open relationship they have, it's because I was being selfish and I wanted her and I got to. And it doesn't even bother me or worry me.

        Anyways, you should stop thinking so much on this because the more you do this and wind up pushing him away or talk about it you will for certain lose him. Personally though if it were me, I would prefer being with someone who doesn't look down on me, because I know I deserve better than that. So do you.

        People deserve all kinds of things, but it's up to people themselves on how they see what they are worth and what they are willing to believe and fight for more than what they got they thought at first they deserved, until a person does something about it, this is what you got until you can learn to let go or fight.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          I get what you're saying but I haven't mentioned it to him however I have thought about it like in a slick way. I just know if I do it will for sure create a lot of tension so that's why i just resist and hold back.

          There have been times where I feel confident about it like it doesn't bother me thinking about it cause its just so ridiculous how could it happen? He obviously loves me and were crazy about each other. Then I picture her face if I were to bring it it and it would be super shocked as if this assumption of mine never existed in the first place and I'm just thinking crazy things.

          Sigh like I said if God is on my side it would turn out that way. I'd look completely crazy for thinking this but I can't deny my feelings bout it. Something just feels so wrong and I get embarrassed thinking about the official moment where the truth comes they like each other cause it is embarrassing. It's one of the most humiliating things anyone can go through. Your partner choosing your sibling over you.

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          • Eagwol
            8 years ago

            Things like this are never easy. I Been hurt, cheated on, and back when I had more morals I was the other guy in a relationship, he was never around, He was from Scotland and he was in the submarine so he be gone for a long time. So it was easy for her to pretend being single. She did the fake pregnancy thing, she was a compulsive liar. There is more to it though, but where this story is ending up at I have no idea if I have a child in Heaven or not, because if it was fake or not it didn't make it. She denied me of being with her when it was lost. Even though she lied a lot sometimes she would tell the truth.

            All I know of relationships are that most are fickle and don't last. And more drama to deal with than being single. I Thought I seen true love before, but I was wrong. Anyways, I wish you well and that what you worry about is just some silly thought that wouldn't ever happen.

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