Is it normal if i feel like a bad person around him?

I think my boo sees me as a "bitch." I don't like it :( cause I'm actually a really friendly person and I can't think of why he would perceive me that way especially when i love him and treat him like he's my king. I might be wrong but the way he treats me sometimes is like how a bitch deserves to be treated. The way he talks to me, he pointed out he thinks I can be ungrateful sometimes but the worst one that yeah I can understand why he would look at me in a bad way is cause I looked through his phone. I think now that I got caught, he sees this different side of me, obviously now he doesn't feel like he can trust me and it sucks cause I am genuine and trustworthy. I know its my fault and thats what I get but he gave me reasons to do it which yes it still doesn't make it right. I never saw myself as one of those girls who would look through her bf's phone. I never did with my ex or past guys I was talking to. I could care less. But he gave me reasons to like I said. And I found some stuff at the end so he's not so innocent either. It wasn't so bad but just a few suspicious messages to some girls. I guess cause we're just casually seeing each other, things won't always go smoothly. But we both know that we can't see other people. He would always tell me he's not talking or seeing anyone else and you know you can never believe 100%. I did believe him a little cause everyone around us knew we were an item and if he wasn't with me, he was either at work or school. We always snapchat each other so I have a good idea where he always is so I guess if anything, it was just those messages and not like he really did get with someone else. But the point is, these things he has done have made me act kind of bitchy. So he needs to get his behavior has caused me to be a certain way sometimes but he thinks he hasn't done anything wrong cause he's just a stubborn punk who I love so much but he can't see that. Well, maybe he does see that but he'll start treating me this way like he thinks I'm this bad person. It sucks. I don't want to look like a bad person to the guy I love so much. I do see him as an asshole but I also see through it. Idk if he sees through my bitchiness the same way. I want him to see me as the good person I am.