Is it normal if i don't want to love ever again?

Being the lover and pursuer in the relationship freaken sucks. I thought love was like just a powerful like for someone's personality and qualities but I was wrong. Love is just something powerful by itself that has no explanation. You can't say why you love that person. I ended up falling for someone I felt I knew already, that chemistry created this image in my head that we will be together in the future. Its unfortunate that he has some douchey characteristics but thats not why I love him. If I can turn off my love for him though I would. But I'm happy to have experienced loving someone. It's seriously a beautiful thing because you also get in touch with yourself. However, I hope he is my first and last love. I don't think I can go through all the downfalls again. It might be worth it for a while but after if things don't cooperate, your heart freezes and can't no more. The scary part of loving someone is not being loved back as much. I miss just liking someone for who they are and for how much of a good time you have with them. I miss having just a crush and gushing about them like everything is all good, nothing too serious. The next person I get involved with, its going to be someone I just liked. Eventually, it will turn to love nd appreciation, but not real love. I already experienced this before him though. My ex really adored me and was a good friend overall who I eventually loved for being sucha good person to me. But because it wasn't real love, it didn't last. It wasn't enough for me to keep going unlike real love. Real love has made me try over and over again but thank god you reach a point where you can't no more. The difference between letting go someone you love and someone you're in love with is letting go of the one you're in love with hurts you and letting go of someone you just loved means you're over it and looking forward to move on. The next time I feel that chemistry again I'm going to walk away lol. I don't want to miss out on real love but maybe before jumping into anything, I'll consider all the factors if its going to work out or not.