Is it normal if i do all the things my ex liked to do?

56% Normal
7 Comments

I find it comforting doing and liking all the things he liked to do. I'll watch his favorite movies, I'll choose to do things he liked to do such skateboarding, watch youtube videos, read tech news, etc. It's not like I'm rejecting myself but I have always enjoyed learning from him. I was so intrigued by him and everything he liked to do. I always thought highly of him so now that I don't have him, I just have the stuff he liked in my head. It just brings me comfort and reminds me of him and yes of course it does make me sad but it's worth it. It makes me happier than sad. We broke up like 5 months ago and he recently contacted me but he was drunk. That did make me feel a little good but drunken minds speak sober thoughts. I remember i used to do that with him (drunk text or call him) and its cause he was my number one and I was always thinking of him. Although its been a while now, there's this aura of him all the time like its not over and to have hope.

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 27 votes (15 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 7 )
  • Couman
    7 years ago

    If your ex introduced you to new hobbies, movies etc, and you still like them, that's fine of course. But if you're doing these things specifically because they remind you of him it strikes me as obsessive. I won't say "unhealthy" because that seems a bit overused, but think about whether this is best for your happiness in the long term.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      He did influence me in a good way so yes part of the reason why I do this is because I genuinely like them and they would be good for me. I wouldn't say Im doing it cause it reminds me of him, but it does bring me comfort and it happens to remind me of him. Ill get sad sometimes but mostly its just comforting.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • RoseIsabella
    7 years ago

    I honestly tend to do the opposite after a big breakup. I have to abstain from anything that reminds me of my ex, because otherwise it would be too painful, sometimes I even have nightmares and wake up screaming. What you're doing sounds like torture to me, that sort of behavior would probably land me in a psychiatric ward. Not that psych wards are so bad, I'm sure there are plenty of worse places.

    It does sound to me like you're in mourning, and everyone grieves differently. Maybe this is just your own personal coping mechanism. What you do is probably kinder and gentler in a way than what I do. I think my coping style is more like quitting emotional heroin cold turkey.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • (s)aint
    7 years ago

    You wont ever get over this guy if you keep trapping your mind in this behaviour.

    It´s comforting to you NOW, but once a year has passed and you still haven´t even begun to move on? That´s when there´s an issue.

    Stop doing things if you do it only because it reminds you of him.

    Now, in longer relationships it´s only natural to find yourself taking on SOME of your partners habits and keep some after the breakup if they stuck.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      He did influence me in a good way. He made me care more about certain things so part of it is because I'm trying to better myself. I genuinely like doing those things plus it comforts me. As long as it makes me happy, I'm going to keep doing it.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Tealights
    7 years ago

    You make this horrible situation sound so romantic. Here's a real life summary: "Ex and I broke up for whatever reason, but I'm not over him, so I do everything possible to remind myself of him instead of moving on. Also, he'll call me up when he's drunk, and his drunken calls give me hope."

    Though drunk people have looser lips, it would be a million times better if he called/text you while sober, and telling you how much he misses/loves you, because it sucks so much that he can only do that while intoxicated.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      7 years ago

      I don't think I'm trying to make this sound "romantic" but it's also not a bad thing. I just want to see if it's normal but it seems like considering it as a bad thing, its not. I know the word "drunk" has a negative connotation so right away people are eager to jump to conclusions and think badly of it which is what you're doing but I don't think its a bad thing that he drunk texted me. He has approached me while sober before that, too, but when he did it drunk, he was more emotional. It makes sense cause drinking makes you more vulnerable and knowing him, it takes a while for him to express himself. So overall, I don't see this as a bad situation, not normal? maybe but I'm not doing it like I forgot who I am or to remind me of him. Its just comforting for me and I genuinely like those things, too.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0