Is it normal if i can't party with him anymore ?

53% Normal
17 Comments

This might be a good thing but idk you tell me. The way my dude and I met was by partying and he came to me. We had so much fun, not caring but we were I guess friends with benefits. Then gradually things got more serious as in we didn't just hook up after a party, we would go out to eat, to watch a movie, do errands, and just watch TV and sleeping over without even having sex. We eventually stopped going to the same parties and just went separately but there came a point where he got bothered by it. He says if I'm doing my thing then he won't feel guilty doing his. Does that mean that he actually cares more bout me and him now than before? Which is a good thing...Then after a while we threw a party and it was the first time we partied and drank since we were just friends w benefits and he got really pissed at me just for my drunk behavior. He straight up said we shouldnt drink together anymore because we obviously get annoyed of each other's drunk behavior. I do because he gets too social where he leaves me hanging and can be rude. But I just find it as a bummer because that's how we met and got along and had so much fun together was by partying and having a good time so why not now ? Is it cause things are getting serious and he actually does care about our relationship? so in a way it's a good thing? I find myself torn though because I really like going out and having fun and not let anyone hold me down but I really do love him yet he pulls me back. And not like in an aggressive way, he just says what he feels and that's it its up to me from there to make a decision.

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 17 votes (9 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 17 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    9 years ago

    "He says if I'm doing my thing then he won't feel guilty doing his."

    "he just says what he feels and that's it its up to me from there to make a decision."

    Then maybe you should take the hint and make a decision. Either confirm your relationship and commitment to him or stop spending time with him altogether. However, if you can't spend time with him without drinking and partying, then tell him you do not want a relationship with him so you two can end it now as opposed to a slow, painful ending. Right now, you're just playing around and you need to stop it because it seems as if he is tired of playing around.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    So then don't go out to parties anymore. Its obvious its causing friction between you two and another thing, its not very manly of him to not have made it official yet. Are you waiting for him to make it official or do you two have some kind of agreement not to put a label on it or something like that? I wouldn't feel awful comfortable investing my time and feelings into someone who doesn't even call me their girlfriend. I mean how does he introduce you to others? As his friend with benefits who he sometimes watches tv and eats dinner with but who's not he's girlfriend? Kind of weird.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I'm not waiting for him to ask me out because if I wanted it official I would ask him out, there's no problem with the girl making the move. But because we're both not really ready to make it official since we are living apart and don't want to start something then end it soon, no one is waiting on the other. However, yes you are right about the whole "introducing thing." There's been moments where people ask us in person "so are you guys together?" There's this silence like what do we say? We can't say no because that'll just be wrong, and we can't say "oh we're just getting to know each other and taking it slow" when we're right next to each other even though that is whats going on. That's just awkward. So we do say yes to avoid awkwardness. But going back to how he feels about making it official, well these signs of caring about "partying" and "drinking" with each other means he cares especially based on the majority vote on here so if he cares, why the delay on making it official? I do think it is a case of him not wanting to take the plunge and call it official because he's scared of commitment. Then I think of myself, and I would love to call him my bf but then again I think what if we were really official? I get scared and realize I'm also scared of commitment, too. It's this fear of messing things up because it's more serious. Right now, we act like a couple but our arguments are not as stressful as it would be if we were a couple.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    My boyfriend and I met through mutual friends and would go to the same parties often but now that we're dating, we rarely attend parties unless its a family member's birthday or something because we value spending time together instead of going out getting drunk like a couple of teenagers. I wouldn't even dream of going somewhere without him. Are you two an item? It sounds like a kind of dysfunctional relationship if you ask me.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      We are an item that's for sure but not exactly official yet. And I rather spend the night with him watching movies than going to parties and getting drunk any day. But I mean when it does come to it, we can't party and have fun anymore without us getting irritated with the other.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • RapidlyRotatingPanda
    9 years ago

    You're getting laid. Can't ask for more than that!

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Lonely2
    9 years ago

    Your relationship has evolved into a more serious thing..at first it was good time charlie and whoopie wendy but now you have feelings for each other and with that comes your evaluation of each other as potential mates and long term partners ...this evaluation makes you recognize those qualities that could hurt your long term relationship and cause issues

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    I dunno, but ya'll sound like a couple of alcoholics.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      No we're not we were just regular, single college students when we met and gradually got to know each other and liked each other's company. So without even noticing, we left the "party scene" but now when it comes up, it's not the same. But from the looks of it, it seems like its a good sign getting irritated at each other when we party. Shows we care. That's what I wanted to know.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        Hmm...okay, if that's what you wanna believe, sure.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          So you tell me what do you think...since that was the point of the post.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • RoseIsabella
            9 years ago

            I dunno, I tend not to see people getting irritated with one another as a good sign. That's just my humble opinion of course.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              Well wouldn't we all want to be happy with each other with no problems or sign of irritation but thats just not human is it? In this case, a "perfect" couple with no problems means something is definitely wrong. To be irritated means you care. Why would it bother you then in the first place?

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago

    He obviously wants a relationship with you. So you need to decide if partying is more important than him. You have to grow up at some point.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I would never choose partying over him and I never do. He thinks I rather be going out because he knows I am an outgoing person and so is he but I've told him I rather just take a nap with you than partying with others. We don't party as often but we were both single when we met so we were just living it up and now it looks like were tying each other down but not in a bad way. We do prefer to be together without partying but when it comes to partying now, we can't enjoy it like we used to when we met. So yeah, you said it looks like he does want something with me so that's what I thought. It does feel good when he speaks up about it, it lets me know he cares enough.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • gashlover
    9 years ago

    what kind of dope were you using

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0