Is it normal if he took his fling to a holiday w his family but not his gf?

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So last year, while I was just seeing my bf now, I found out that he once took his former fling to a national holiday with his family. I felt like shit cause I hadn't met his family yet and we were dating more than just as "friends w benefits." Now that we are more serious, he's has yet to invite me on a holiday with his family and I feel like even more shit. Am I just not worthy? Is he embarrassed of me? He took his fling but he won't take me who is more than just a "fling?" Or am I really a fling? I don't think I am a fling, its nonsense for me to even consider that cause we have been through so much and I have spoke with his family, hung out with siblings, but he hasn't made the effort to say "hey you want to spend so and so w my family and I?" He doesn't have the decency to do that but he does have the decency to invite his fling? Wth? Is this normal? Or does he take me that seriously that he's not ready to do it? but he took his fling! thats what I don't get...

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Based on 5 votes (1 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • charli.m
    9 years ago

    Why don't you ask him? We don't know his reasons.

    Maybe he just hasn't had a family event. Maybe you're blowing this all out of proportion. How the hell would I know? I've never met the guy.

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  • VinnyB
    9 years ago

    More whiney little girls acting like jealous, insecure, little children. Instead of running stupid scenarios through your head and worrying about what he did with every other girl before you, trying to decide where you rate in his sexual history, why not just ask him?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      NOT. Idk about other girls, but its not our fault that guys show mixed signals and they have a reputation for being assholes. Sorry not sorry.

      I have brought it up but he turns it around as if I'm the bad guy. I don't want to ask him again cause like you said, I don't want to come off as this whiney little girl although, its his behavior that causes this "whiney little girl" to come out.

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      • VinnyB
        9 years ago

        Yep cause females never show mixed signals. Maybe you are the "bad guy" in the situation when you bring it up, or maybe not. I don't know because you are not saying what you say to him and exactly what he says in response. Can you be more specific?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          Me: "howcome you took your former fling to your family but you havent taken me?"

          Him: "she's like someone I'm not gonna be w at all so it's like me playing with her. You're my target to be with long-term. I let you hang out w my sister so doesn't that tell you anything?"

          I laughed that off. How does that even make sense? Like yeah you did let me be with you and your sister so that should tell me something yet you let your "supposedly meaningless fling" hang out with your whole family on a holiday? Sooooo I am also just a meaningless fling? or your meaningless fling actually carries a little more meaning than your supposed "long-term gf" ?? He was basically trying to make me look like the bad guy wanting more from him even if I got to hang out w his sister. This guy obviously had a hard time bullshitting his way out of this conversation by saying nonsense things.

          And the most hilarious part is he knows he looked like an idiot explaining himself yet he is so full of of his ego that he cannot admit it when he is wrong.

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          • VinnyB
            9 years ago

            Yep so nothing he said there makes you out to be the bad guy or even sugguests it. So as I suspected, you just didn't like his answer and over dramatized it in you head. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              So you actually believe what he said? Even when it doesn't make sense? I think you might be biased here...

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  • Sog
    9 years ago

    Why would you even continue to see a guy like this?

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  • WhiteStallion
    9 years ago

    I agree with@Sog. Truth is if he has you why does he need to play around with a fling? You like this guy's attitude who likes to 'play' around with people's emotions O.o Um what I want to say is you have been through a lot with this guy. He owes you the decency of taking you seriously as you take him as seriously. If he cannot then both of you are at different levels in the relationship and there is going to be some fall of trust. Yes I am a relationship expert (not really...lemme roleplay ok!)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      He didn't take a fling to his family while he's been w me. This was before me. But what I'm saying is when he was w her he had taken her to a family function when she was just a fling, according to him. Now while with me, who is someone more serious to him (?), he hasn't taken me to a family function which confused me cause shouldn't he have if I am more than just a fling? So the fact that he hasn't taken me made me think I am just a fling too or prob even less. But after so much analyzing, its not really about whether taking me to see his family or not, its about what to believe I am according to him but since he's a liar its a lost cause.

      Now it all comes down to that he is a liar regardless. He referred to his fling as basically "whatever" to make me feel better and say that I am more important since I have gotten to meet some of his family. Well she got to meet his family too so doesn't that mean she was also important too? But he says no cause he wants to make me feel better by saying what he thinks i want to hear which obviously has failed. The thing is why can't he just say that she was also someone important to him? I won't get mad or anything. He's a liar and idk what to believe w him. I don't know what I am to him...am I a fling too since that's how he referred to her and doesn't want to tell me that? Or I really do mean something to him but he thinks I'll feel better if he puts down the other girl? Will he put me down too to his next girl?
      Meh.

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    • VinnyB
      9 years ago

      Reread the post. The fling was a former fling, as in before the OP was dating him. While he was in a relationship with another girl, he took that girl to meet his family. This all happened before his relationship with the OP. There is no cheating here.

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