Is it normal if he's so mia?

45% Normal
14 Comments

Sometimes hell go mia for the whole day and realizes he needs to text me or something so hell do it like late at night. Doesn't count. The most annoying part is it would be after we had a good or sweet conversation. He likes his space but damn he does it out of nowhere and it confuses me. Another annnoying part is if I happen to leave him hanging from a text AND trust me I don't do it on purpose or because "I want my space," he bitches about it. Unfair to the biggest extent. I recently confronted him about being so double standard with that and he makes a joke about it like "it sucks huh?" And because I don't wanna be such a drama queen, I kind of play along but let him know it's not kool. I have come to the point where yes he is into me because he's expressed to me things that has taken him a while to do so but this whole mia/jokester part of him makes me question, as much as I wanna be w him and see us in the future, do I wanna deal w this bs often? Yes I'm still w him and hoping as we grow, he will change his ways. Like I said, he has started expressing cute things to me so he is truing to change little by little but it could always be because hes just trying to get to me and keep around. That's the last thing I wanna believe but I always have a little doubt in the back of my head to not get my hopes up. I would love to answer back when he hits me up after the whole day went by (he doesn't work today and I have a good idea of how his days go so its not like he was really busy) but that would just make this whole thing "okay" and it's not.

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45% Normal
Based on 11 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Blue_Velvet
    9 years ago

    You are being too clingy and seem to have trust issues. Give him some space.

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  • poon__jabber
    9 years ago

    he's cheating on you, dump his ass!

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  • CountessDouche
    9 years ago

    What!?

    You sound like a terrible girlfriend. Get off his junk. Anyone in a healthy relationship understands that it is completely important, if not essential to have seperate togetherness, to have seperate hobbies and interests, to bringing something of yourself to the table instead of being one codependent mind.

    So, if he wants to rack off with his friends or fix cars or do him for a day, then good on him.

    When you're in a secure and loving relationship, you won't be worried about spending time apart. You won't be bothered by him having his own space. You won't have to be all passive aggressive with text messages and sit around wondering what he means by everything he says. You'll know that he cares about you, and if you need reassurance, you can quite simply and directly ask for it, and then you'll get it. There's no second guessing. It's easy.

    As for you, you need a hobby. Leave your boyfriend alone.

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    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      Seriously? Your advice is for her to back off and leave her boyfriend alone? What the hell kind of relationships have you been in? Somebody who actually wants to commit to somebody else, makes time to communicate with them and spend time with them. My boyfriend and I are in a completely commited, healthy relationship and I would be horribly offended if he ignored my texts for something as ridiculous as him "wanting space". We've been living together for over a year and spending every spare second we have in eachother's company and we've yet to have an argument. Healthy relationships are relationships that consist of two people who are compatible enough to always be around eachother and actually like it. If the only way your relationship can work is if you have to force yourself to leave eachother alone, its not a healthy or loving relationship.

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      • derpyderp
        9 years ago

        I am in a relationship with this fucking awesome chick after having been in relationships with only people like you before.

        I'd always assumed the attitude you have here is normal & what I should expect.
        Now I know better.

        There is no lack of commitment, communication, compatibility or any of the things you mention.
        How many married couples do you see riding each others asses all day every day?

        Maybe it's her that has the right idea for an adult relationship?

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        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          There's a difference between being pushy with someone to be with you, and two people actually wanting to be together all the time. I don't ride anyone's ass for anything, my boyfriend just happens to be one of the very few guys on this planet who doesn't want deliberate time apart from me. He works many, many hours and even that time apart sucks because all we do is miss eachother when he's gone. I'm not saying this is how all relationships should be, obviously what works for some may not work for others. I'm simply saying that if a guy can't be bothered to communicate with his girl he probably doesn't give a shit about her feelings. "My time", "I want space", "me, me, me" is all I here when I picture these selfish ass guys telling their girlfriends why they don't ever text them back, and its kind of pathetic.

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          • derpyderp
            9 years ago

            Trust me, you'd be struggling to find two people wanting to be together more!
            It's more about being comfortable when it does happen as its inevitable at times.

            Don't assume that because someone mentions being comfortable with time apart that they are automatically not as close as you & your partner.

            I'm not a guy looking for an excuse to escape by any means but it's nice to know that when I do have time to myself, for whatever reason, my girl isn't going to be butthurt over it (& vice - versa of course)
            I'm still getting used to that to be honest...

            It sounds like you've got a great relationship that works well for you & so do we, & despite a different outlook it's probably quite similar in practice.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              As long as he reassures me that he is into me and let's me know what u just said about taking a break but don't take it personal, then okay. But he can be so silent and leaves me guessing where he's coming from and when I confront him, he acts like he hasn't done anything wrong. Instead, if he's really into me, hell ask me what's wrong and try to make it better. In this case, he would say "when I go mia its not cause I don't want to talk to you but its just having my space," he has also said that he doesn't even notice he's doing these things and okay I get guys are clueless sometimes. So that's why I'm still w him, cause I guess I'm making excuses for him...

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          • CountessDouche
            9 years ago

            Deliberate time apart? Lmao.

            I want him to have it. That is the gift that you give the person that you love. I want his life to be complete. I want him to have his passion, his hobbies, his friends, his family, his time to himself. I want his life to be full and complete and meaningful, and not just about me. I'm not that goddamn selfish that I expect him to make me the sun- I want him to love his mom, and his dog, and his friends, and his hobbies. I want him to have a place to go if I'm stressing him out.

            When I hear him talk about the things that he loves, and the people that he loves, it inspires me. It makes me happy, just to hear him happy- the change in his tone of voice, his excitement. I know he feels the same when I talk about the things that make me passionate.

            And having seperate shit- it has nothing to do with neglecting one another. If ever I feel scared or insecure, he is always there- sending me texts in the middle if my work day, telling me he's still all in; but I don't need it. I fucking trust everything because I get everything I need when I ask for it. I have never had to worry if he is busy for the night. I've never had to worry if I don't get I text within the hour. I have no worries, and I'm glad that he takes time to himself, and I'm glad that he gives me my space to do the same. It's just...fucking easy!

            We aren't codependent. We aren't the same person, and that to me is the most important thing in the world.

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            • [Old Memory]
              9 years ago

              Kind of strange how my boyfriend has time for everything he needs without seperating himself from me, but like I said, not all relationships are the same. My boyfriend has hobbies too, and we spend an incredible amount of family time with both his family and mine, but we do it together, because we are a unit. I get a lot of people want alone time or whatever, I just don't personally agree with or understand it, that's all. No biggie. Congrats that you have a good relationship and that it works for you, I'm just saying that I prefer the kind of love where you wouldn't be able to live without the person by your side. Kind of makes you feel loved and special.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I think what u forgot to consider is the double standard. Why is it okay for him to take a break but when I do its not? Its like he's playing victim. Wtf? Not sure how I can distinguish if he just wants his space sometimes which is FINE cause I like my space too or considering the double standard, is he just not that into me?

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Sadly enough, you get a lot of guys who just could give a fuck to communicate with the lady in their life, and its not right. In my opinion, if you want your fucking space, you don't want a relationship. Not a serious one anyway. Relationships are about dedication, communication, spending time together and deliberately seperating yourself from the person you're dating is not in the job description. Its bullshit. I've had boyfriends who couldn't be fucked to text me back within an hour of a text I sent them even when I know all they're doing is gaming or chilling with friends. Completely inconsiderate douchebags. It takes less than a fucking minute to reply to a text, seriously. My current boyfriend isn't all that enclined to sit on his phone for hours, but when he's at work he messages me every single tea time and lunch time. Why? Because he cares, and wants to communicate with me. It sounds like your boyfriend doesn't really give much of a shit about your feelings. I would evaluate your relationship if I were you.

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