Is it normal if a guy says "i don't want to date you"?

51% Normal
13 Comments

He and I met through Tinder. He said lets meet wherever you want. I said okay but I just want to let you know I'm not into one night stands. He said that's fine, lets get something to eat then or you can come to my place. I said I'm not going to your place when I don't even know you yet, that's creepy lol.

After finally deciding on a place, we met , he bragged about himself, said he was cool, his friends loved him, he was really great, etc, we split the check and he hugged goodbye.

Then I receive a text saying it was nice to meet me, it was fun and he asked to meet up again over the weekend. He said he'd like me to go to a nice italian restaurant near his house and then go back to his place for cuddling. I said how about we meet half way and have a coffee instead and go to his place another day. He said fine.

So then the day comes and he texts me saying he thinks we definitely have chemistry but not enough, that he can't see us dating, he doesn't feel emotionally connected enough but he says "although there's not enough chemistry, the physical attraction is definitely there" so I said okay that's good to know I guess. He asked if I could still come over and instead sleep with him. I asked if that's what he wanted all along, he said no of course not, he wanted to see if we could date but he said there's definitely not enough chemistry, only physical.

Is this normal?

Voting Results
51% Normal
Based on 39 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • DarQness
    9 years ago

    is it normal? sadly yes. but you shouldn't continue, even if he denies it. he is lying to you. just physical attraction is lust, and only lust. you give in he'll get what he wants and will be on his way.

    besides, the guy seems to love himself too much. he should like talking about other things other than just himself. like, how are you? hows family? etc. you look nice, what are you in to, what do you do for fun. things like that.

    the only way you can win with his logic, is to say goodbye. because it sounds like to me you have more self respect for yourself, and won't let yourself be used. which is good. don't let yourself be fooled with lies and mind games. you deserve better than that.

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  • Sog
    9 years ago

    He realized that getting you in bed was more effort than it was worth to him, so that was his last ditch effort. The fact that he would invite you to his place before he even met you in real life should have been a dead giveaway.

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    He just wanted ass.

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  • (.)(.)boobies
    9 years ago | pl

    He was looking for a sex and figured you would fit the bill. He was persistent enough to go on a couple of dates. He cut it off when he realized you weren't easy pickings. When you confronted him about it, he tried to save face by putting the ownness on a lack of dating chemistry. To put it bluntly, he thinks your fuckable but nothing more. Of course that's a reflection on him, not you. And it's quite common for some men to be that way.

    I thought Tinder was a site for hooking up?

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    • EccentricWeird
      9 years ago

      Yeah, YOU would think that.

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  • AppleMind
    9 years ago

    Is it normal for a guy to be a cunt?

    Yes. . . Unfortunately.

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    • Tommythecat.
      9 years ago

      Wtf he sounds like a perfectly nice sexual predator.

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  • Darkoil
    9 years ago

    Tinder is basically a sex app, what did you expect?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      I expected him to just say no since I told him no one nights.

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  • CrimsonDeadly
    9 years ago

    He wants to get his dick wet. Nothing less, nothing more.

    He can tell you all of this mumbo jumbo about crap that doesn't matter but all that is it feeding you the dream, giving you a false hope that maybe if you have sex with him it'll develop into a relationship but that's what feeding the dream is - as soon as he gets it you'd never hear from him again, unless he enjoyed it and you were naive enough, then he'd tap it a few more times before disappearing.

    Sorry, but that's honesty. /:

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  • disthing
    9 years ago

    He wants a friend with benefits.

    At least he's been up front about it (sort of). You can decide what you want - do you want him as a fuck buddy? If not, then tell him that you're not interested in that kind of friendship.

    Not sure why you're all losing your shit.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    Aren't you lucky that he was up front and you didn't waste a bunch of time on this guy?
    My question though, is your first "date" with this guy sounded like a real downer "he bragged about himself, said he was cool, his friends loved him, he was really great, etc"; why would you even consider going out with him again, even for a cuppa? Are you THAT desperate?

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  • jollycholly
    7 years ago

    Perfectly normal. I make the same play myself. I'm a single guy and manage to get laid at least 5 nights a week using the same kind of ploy. By the way, he's not done with you yet. Just saving his contact with you for a slow night when nothing else is happening.

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