Is it normal i won't date a woman who has kids?

76% Normal
10 Comments

I like kids, hell sometimes I get along with kids better than other adults, but that being said I don't want to deal with the drama.

Relationships are difficult enough to work out between two people, I don't want to throw kids that aren't even mine into the mix.
And honestly the thing that scares me most is if I get attached to the kids or they get attached to me and things don't work out between me and the girl.

For these reasons, I've always avoided relationships with women who have kids.

is it normal or am I a bad person for this?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 66 votes (50 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • mysistersshadow
    7 years ago

    Not a bad person you are smart to not get into something you know you won't like.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • Ass_gas
    7 years ago

    Kids are very often baggage. Dated a woman with three kids. Her two sons were successful, pleasant, positive for the family. But, her daughter manipulated her for money and refused to grow up. I had to leave. It was an unfortunate situation for everybody.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • 8=====D~~~~
      7 years ago

      I wouldn't ever date a woman with kids from a previous marriage, UNLESS they were grown up and out of the house. I'm not wasting my time/money on someone else's offspring.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • Cuntsiclestick
    7 years ago

    It's normal and you're not a bad person. I won't date anyone with kids either.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
  • Tempest-au
    7 years ago

    Perfectly normal in my opinion. I've had relationships with women who have had kids, gotten attached to the kids and treated them as my own, and then when the relationship with the woman breaks up, you have nothing. Hell, I was the primary caregiver for my 2nd wife's youngest child from 8 weeks old because of her post natal depression. When we split up 7 years later, guess how much legal right I had to even see this child who I had raised as my own, not to mention her other 4 kids who I'd taken on after their drunken father died in a car accident...

    Then my next wife, after we were married, decided she wanted to have a child in spite of the fact I'd had a vasectomy, so she got herself pregnant. Stupid me accepted the situation, supported her through a horrific pregnancy, and helped raise and support the child (who had special needs) for the next 6 years until I fucked up my back and couldn't work. As soon as the money dried up, she left - and as I'm not on the birth certificate, without expensive litigation through the courts (which I can't afford) guess how much rights I have...

    Not that it's likely I'll ever enter a relationship with anyone again, anyone with kids is now automatically friend zoned.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • 8=====D~~~~
      7 years ago

      Sounds like you tried to do the right thing and the system shit all over you in spite of it. In this day and age it doesn't surprise me that the system would do something like this. Especially to a man.

      You tried your best, system destroyed what motivation you would have had left to take on this scenario again. Lesson learned. Take some pride in the fact you did the right thing by the kids.

      Live life for your own enjoyment. Life is too short to worry about anything else.

      It's your choice but I wouldn't even bother with another single mom at all. If you work with her, do a casual hello, if you see her on a somewhat regular basis outside of that (volunteer work, gym membership, etc) keep your distance and keep it casual.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • Tempest-au
        7 years ago

        I've always tried to put the kids first, even those not "mine". Fatherhood is about much more than 5 seconds of goofy grin and a sperm donation.

        I've done some shitty things in my life, but I can say with pride I've always tried to do the right thing for all of my 9 assorted children/stepchildren. While the system is getting better, it is still geared very heavily towards the mother - even if that is unwritten. Sadly, at least in Australia, there is no recognition of a non-biological non-adoptive father, at least unless you want a lengthy and drawn out legal battle (and years of sending everyone broke through the Family Court doesn't help anyone apart from the lawyers).

        My days of relationships are over, irrespective of if the woman has kids or not. I'm all-but confined to bed now, and totally dependant on a government pension. I have nothing to offer any woman, and I accept that. That being said, if by some miracle some lost woman appeared at my door to ask for directions, the question of "do you have kids" would be asked well before "would you like a coffee". ;)

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
    • Enigma1170
      7 years ago

      I feel you...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • Solomonkane
    7 years ago

    No your not a bad person you are caring for the feelings for the woman you are dating and her children feelings.

    It's a good question though for many others who go through this.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • Enigma1170
      7 years ago

      Ive been through it and your making the right decision to not date women with kids...

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0