Is it normal i wish i had married someone else

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12 Comments

Twenty some years ago in my senior year of college,I dated this half black half jewish woman She was totally crazy ,artsy fartsy granola hippie who was wild in bed. I broke up with her because my parents hated her mostly for things she couldn't change and she was kind of a flake and she didn't want to change faiths or get married and have a family right away. I saw her recently wish I would have married her and not the women I am with now.My wife is way prettier and more intelligent than the woman, but she is very negative . Nothing is ever good enough and she humiliates me in public all the time.I am not perfect and at my church they do not believe in divorce but I think I deserve to be happy. We haven't had sex in 5 years and we barely talk to each other.Our youngest graduates in a few weeks and I am thinking of leaving and seeing if my college gf still wants me. She is a widow.Am I going through a midlife crisis or am I crazy.

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86% Normal
Based on 28 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • JD777
    8 years ago

    Make sure this isn't some "grass is greener on the other side" thing first. But, I can relate - negative people are just a total drain. Life is too short to spend it with a downer.

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  • ucipher8
    8 years ago

    You and everyone else, right? You mentioned "church" how would you look in your community if you got divorced? What's the cost of "happiness" when you already have kids who look at you and your wife as the "pillars" of their strengths?

    Everyone deserves to be, everyone wants to be: happy. If only the world could be so unrealistic. I want to say its too late for you to think about what you are thinking about, but it might not be too late for you to take a vacation with your wife - now that your youngest is about to graduate.

    The grass isn't always greener... Can you, do you really want to throw away everything you built up with your wife, just because of past regrets? Maybe you thought this all the way through, maybe divorce is clearly the best answer. If it is, then so be it. Your kids are old enough now and its obvious you have been dealing with this for quite some time now.

    I want to think about it this way, your wife is at least giving you enough attention that she hasn't already decided to divorce you herself. She might be withholding sex but lets face it, she gave birth for goodness sake! She probably doesn't feel as sexy as she used to be (she's obviously more attractive then your ex right?).

    A woman will stress you out, thats for sure. But, men aren't exactly daisies to deal with either. Don't get counseling, get your bags packed and do a "second honeymoon".

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago

    MMM. I have never been in this situation all I can say is do what makes you happy. If you are miserable in your life right now do something to change it.

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  • NathanScott
    8 years ago

    9 times out of 10 this is a midlife crisis.But if you feel strongly about it then go for it mate...Carpe Diem

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    If you spend any time on IIN, then you probably have some idea that I'm not much of a fan of religion. I can't think of a better win/win for having a happy future, than dumping the religion first, then getting a divorce. Yep, a win/win all the way around!

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  • John__Cena
    6 years ago

    If you havent had sex in 5 years you have 2 options. Either get a divorce of commit double homocide.

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  • Diver2
    8 years ago

    Does the lady give good head?

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  • sega31098
    8 years ago

    Or alternatively you could sort out your problems with your wife.

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  • theotherblonde
    8 years ago

    I am with gypsy sailor.Coming from first hand experience, Life is too short and precious to be stuck with a jerk who refuses to respect you.

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  • kelili
    8 years ago

    I hope you know that dating someone and actually living with that person are two different things. Just remember why you married your wife and how you are feeling about your marriage now. This said, it's normal to seek happiness.

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  • reallyalthea
    8 years ago

    You don't want to regret leaving your wife .. But you have too make sure that is what you want. If you feel as if its not working out ..

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  • TareBear20
    8 years ago

    5 years since intimacy? I think it's time you get a divorce, because you clearly aren't attracted to each other.

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