Is it normal i want to fuck my first cousin

it all started out when we was young i was 9 she was 5 i was standing in my garage with my liite girl cousin when a boner started comin on and i had a ball she wanted i said i will let you have the ball if you will do something for me and you got to promise not to say how you got it she said ok i said ok so i unzipped my fly and pulled my cock out ans said suck on this she thought about it i said please so she put it in her mouth it felt great she sucked for a little bit and said im tired i said imagine its a popsycle so she kept goin my les started quivering i didnt know what was happening but it felt great she kept going and i started feeling something come out of my cock she kept goin for a second then she spit and looked up at me and said eww idk what it was i guess it was piss but i didnt care it felt great so i gave her the ball she said thank you i said your welcome and about that time my grandma came into the garage and said time to leave she took my cousin home and up until 3years ago she was still sucking my cock