Is it normal i want to find my bully and murder him?

I know it sounds stupid at first, but this wasn't your average bully who maybe called you names and pushed you around a bit. This guy use to terrorize me every single day, we'd end up in very physical fights daily which would end up with me being covered in bruises everytime I came back home.

He was in my class so he would never let me properly learn, when I tried listening to the teacher or work he'd be throwing rubbers, pencils, sharp things, etc. at me as well as trying to trip me if I walked past or kicking/punching me. The teacher was so done with his shit she literally had to yell and scream at him daily in frustration because the principal and higher ups would never do anything about him or punish him.

When they did they blamed me for "starting" it (9 times out of 10 it was him that had started the fights.) He'd regularly go through my bags and steal my food and other things, and at break he would never leave me alone. There were other incidents where he had stolen my basketball and thrown it at me breaking one of my fingers and punched me in the back of the head and I fainted for a minute and woke up not knowing where I was, as well as the times he tried to stab me in the neck with scissors and he would constantly emotionally manipulate me by threatening my sister (who was only like 5 at the time.)

I had to suffer 6 years with him until my mum gave me and my sister up to my dad and he pulled me out of that school, but because of him I have depression and other things wrong with me. I feel like if I ever saw him out in public or something nothing would stop me in punching him to the ground and and slicing his stomach open with a knife and forcing him to eat his own intestines. I look forward to the day I see him so I can do horrible things to him and I wont regret it.