Iin: i want to be humiliated and beat up?
It's just a sick fantasy that I have, and while my partner and I are both in the BDSM community, she even thinks that I'm too masochistic sometimes. She's into public humiliation, but not in the way that I am. For example, she's dragged me around by collar and leash at some sex parties, and she's made me lick and kiss her shoes/boots in public. But... I'd rather she kick me right in the face.
I wish she would really tie me up and just kick and punch me until I'm fucking howling. Burn me with cigarettes, cut me with a knife or a razor blade. I don't know how to... stop being so masochistic. It even bothers me sometimes. ... I had a pretty difficult childhood, but there was very little physical abuse, it was mostly emotional and mental... Is this at all normal?