Is it normal i want human contact but i can dislike it too?

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11 Comments

When I walk around campus I feel lonely especially when I see pairs and groups of other people laughing and talking.

I want to make friends but when I actually manage to talk with people (like when I meet someone new at work or at lecture), it feels really uncomfortable. I feel pressure to be "interesting". I'd rather just sit with a friend and only talk when I have something important to say. But I have always assumed that other people want to be "entertained," as in, they want me to say funny/witty things.

So I want human relationships but when I actually interact with people, it just...dissolves. There's nothing there. I feel incredibly tense, I feel like I am boring them to death. I feel like they just want to get away from me. Which does seem to be the case with most people I meet.

I have been at college for a year and a half and have not found one person with whom I can TRULY feel relaxed and comfortable. It is really upsetting me. I guess I'm waiting for one or more people to just "click" with me.

Voting Results
95% Normal
Based on 21 votes (20 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • snowyshadow
    9 years ago

    For real, this is the exact reason why I got on this site. I am a junior in college and still only hangout with the two friends from high school I had coming into it. It is frustrating.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Yeah. And I don't get it - I didn't feel like an outsider until I came to college. Now I feel fundamentally different from other people, I just can't connect to anyone here. I wonder what is up with me!

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  • Santoz
    9 years ago

    I love human contact too, but I am 'Socially Awkward' and have a ton of strange conditions dealing with my actions. I found friends that just goof around, so I hang out with them often because they make me feel like I fit in.

    P.S. I find it easier to be friends with girls than boys.

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  • Jawsx1
    9 years ago

    The time will come when you meet someone you can truly connect with, everyone has their preferences. I normally don't talk about my personal life, but the case with my girlfriend is the fact that I enjoy talking with her, I'm a great listener and listen to her problems when she needs to vent, I normally don't get overwhelmed with life but I hope I can vent to her if the case arises.

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    • Jawsx1
      9 years ago

      On a final note, this is my first relationship and I have lived a solitary life of education and philosophy, and I enjoy the interaction between us.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    9 years ago

    I love hugs they are awesome.

    No words just hugs and then the day goes from cloudy to sunshine.

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  • joolia03
    9 years ago

    You might have social anxiety. You're not antisocial because you say you want human relationships but you get nervous around them. But like the above comments, try to get out of your comfort zone and join clubs then you'll gradually find yourself and be confident with who you are. And nothing beats confidence. Plus, you're young. It's not the end of the world :)

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  • Arm0se
    9 years ago

    some people like quiet people.

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  • Short4Words
    9 years ago

    You might find people if you keep yourself open and friendly and not afraid to be yourself. But in addition to that, if you feel like you are boring you should try to pursue things outside of your studies and find people you have things in common with that way.

    I think once you start getting more comfortable in your own skin, you won't worry if what you're saying is interesting or not because confident people are just naturally interesting to other people.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    You might do better if you joined some clubs (sailing, biking, hiking, music, bird watching, sky diving) or got involved in social situations (volunteering at homeless or animal shelters, political action groups, etc) so you are around people you share common interests with.
    Anything you enjoy doing or would like to learn.

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    • pixie44
      9 years ago

      ^ I agree. Find a club to join. (:

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