Is it normal i train to be a deviant sex gladiator

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10 Comments

The main event is the coitus and carry.I must train to be strong enough to lift,walk with and carry a woman heavier than I,while performing coitus.So i started to do a "hump and carry" exercise with a 70 pound sack,gradually increasing the weight and time carried week after week.i was able to coitus and carry a girl weighing 115 pounds with only moderate effort.I was allowed to attempt the coitus and carry with her friend weighing 140 pounds but it was a little too much effort to be comfortable and enjoyable.My best personal attempt was with a woman weighing 193 pounds.My weight being 165.I could get the mount but could not hold it for long and could not walk more than a few steps.Other events include the rear facing coitus and carry,the cunnalingus and carry,pushup hump,hunter-gatherer squat hump,wall sit angle hump,"facesit" up...etc

Goddess worship is my deviant witchcraft religion i suppose.All burps and farts must be acknowledged and glorified. I try to come up with a unique thing to say for every burp and fart.For example..."desert!!"..."talented!!"..."fresh air"

I follow a type of bodybuilding routine with emphasis on the sexiest muscle...the butt...its extremely important that i keep a butt that is interesting for women to look at.Day a is chest and glutes...day b is back and glutes...day c is glutes with a little ham...day d is "leg day"plus core...day e i work traps,shoulder,bicep tricep,forearm and calves....the only day dont work glutes haha....I encourage women to train with extreme emphasis on the glutes....I devised routines to work the gluteus minimus,medius and maximus separately and together.

Then there is the "secret" discipline of jelqing which you can look up yourself.i am uncircumsized with testicles larger than average.I use the"secret" balls-in double penetration technique where the sphincter is penetrated by the testicles while the penis goes in the vagina simultaneously.All interesting body parts must be sniffed,kissed and licked at request...the feet,armpit,crotch,butt.If there are no other males around any woman with the goddess energy cannot be disobeyed.

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22% Normal
Based on 9 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    My Siamese just farted. 💨🤪

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    5 years ago

    i looks forward to seein this spectacle in the olympics

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  • Jinko
    5 years ago

    excuse me what

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  • Jweezee
    5 years ago

    You've opened my eyes to a whole new world of sexual competition. May I suggest a winter version of your sex olympics...called sexual wintercourse. You could have curling but you'd be pushed down the ice On your knees, pants off to a waiting vagina. Penetration is the goal. I had a similar idea with speed skating but the trial runs were disastrous. The bobsled is a variation of the more orthodox road head. Hockey they basically slap shot a dildo at a gaping snatch....that one may need tweaking. I'll have to work out the details on Viagra doping scandal prevention.

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    • johannis
      5 years ago

      sexual wintercourse,It calls for a whole new breed of athlete...lol...i have heard of gym-nastys...sexercise....but never sexual wintercourse

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  • Brylkis
    5 years ago

    Not normal...I do not know any deviant sex gladiators. But after your description, I just might want to.

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  • HeTalksInMaths
    5 years ago

    On a peaceful morning filled with the chirps of cheery birds, I was reading the morning paper and doing a little nose-cleaning. "Wh-Wh-What!?" I exclaimed in surprise. I was so surprised by one article in the paper, I accidentally jammed my finger straight up my nose! "Aaargh! I think I just poked my brain!" Anyway, enough 'bout that. The headline of the article said that a legendary pyramid had been discovered. Hmmmmm... When I read the article, I learned that the ruins held the buried pyramid where the Princess Shokora, who one ruled this area, had been put into a cursed sleep by the arrogant, selfish, money-crazed Golden Diva. "Do I smell treasure again?" I thought. "Heh, heh, hehhhh!" As this wicked laugh floated through my mind, I was already thinking about the money and nothing else! Forgetting even to take my mid-morning nap, I hopped into my fantastic Wario car and headed for the Golden Pyramid. "All that treasure for me! Guhahaha!" A fun day in my life! You! Pay attention! 7:00 – Wake Up Asleep in my favorite sofa bed, dreaming of treasure. ZZZ! ZZZ! ZZZ! All of a sudden, a cockroach crawls up my nose! I wake up, freaking out!! Is little roachie gone for good?! 7:30 – Breakfast Inhale a light meal of two gallons of milk, three loaves of French bread, a little cheese, and six raw eggs in a gulp - all in one minute. And since I'm such a worldly guy, I read the paper at the same. I just skip all the hard words!! But today I get a great tip about some treasure!! 7:40 – Bathroom I like to stretch out my daily scheduled bathroom time!! Ahhh, that's better! I think I may be having some plumbing problems, because my toilet always seems to block up. Whatever!! I don't care! 9:00 – Going Out I feel like The Man hopping into my wonderful Wario Car, but I feel something weird on my backside!! Eww!! It's pigeon poop!! Guh!! I don't have a hankie, so I'll just wipe it away with my Wario hat. No problem! I thought I'd take a leisurely drive to the pyramid, but I run out of gas!! Oh no! I'll just have to push the car to the next gas station... haa haa-wheeze... 12:00 – Lunch I ate ten hot dogs at the gas station at 10:00, but I'm still feeling pretty hungry, so I eat three plates of spaghetti. It's still not enough, but hey, I'm on a diet!! I have spaghetti sauce all over my mouth, so I wipe it on my Wario hat... Arrghh! Yeech! What's that taste?! Ahh, whatever!! 3:30 – Treasure Huff! Puff! I finally find a treasure chest! As I slowly open it, I find a shiny golden... NOTHING! Crud! I've been tricked! That stupid newspaper!! I'm suffering from "Empty Chest Syndrome"!! Har Har!! Get it?! 6:00 – Home When I open the door to the hideout, I notice - uggh, arggh-the toilet has spewed water everywhere!! I can't even describe how gross it is!! 7:00 – Snack After taking care of the toilet problem, I settle down for an evening snack. I wolf down ten plates of the liver and onions I brought on the way home and ten pancakes!! I'm still a bit peckish! 8:00 – Evening Exercise While listening to country music, I do ten sets of 100 push-ups each. That's how I do such powerful attacks!! And also because I watch pro wrestling!! I like to cheer for Big Bama and Neutron B!! 10:00 – Sleep Bath - NO! Brush teeth - NO! Don't be like me, kids! Then off to the sofa bed and more dreams... For some reason, I dream of cockroaches!! I wake up and hear a strange clicking noise inside my head... Roachie?!!

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    • johannis
      5 years ago

      Lesbian war rape...Mortal man cannot bust a nut in the same manner as god.He came close one time amongst the virgins in the hashish fields circa 420 bc,tibet china but that was a fluke. Those pyramids were built by cannibal redheaded immortal giants...stem cells/blood of young donors reverse aging...back then i was incarnated as testosticles...the human representation of the god of testosterone.I would drink a cup of virgin menstrual blood cut with blackberry wine and incline close grip bench with 505 coubolins for 8 plus reps to a weighted slow rep negative pushup with a 45 pound backpack as a warmup for leg day.Me and prince leonitus,leader of gods army in the final battle between all good and evil would do 60-70 sets of 3-5 reps on the stair stepper each leg suppersetted with jumping pistol box squats...my tricep looked and felt like a damn horseshoe back then...it was on fleek boy
      Then it was a warm sunny day back in old country,I was incarnated as a viking named johaniss johannisson...me and the boys was playing a quick game of the throw-fist when this ginger called me out from across the battlefield...so i threw off all my cuppernickel armor and challenged him to a game of the throw fist one on one despite a battle uponith which the fate of all the plains of terra rested like a baby bird being cottled in a nest.....short story long several lifetimes later it was me in the finals....mathais"bloody murder-dick"johansson verses the reigning champ "mean" joe"donkey kong" johnson"kong-johnson"...we threw out the weight class rules and i coitused and carried a 207 pound half west african black...half icelandic woman for the required 32 steps...held the kegel for 8 seconds and nailed the freestyle dismount with a front-punch gainer double full...It was the highest gainer double full the gym had ever seen...she took the silver that year.....I took gold and 4th place after a testosterone fueled rage when i couldnt nut on account of all the injacultion and ilesbian war raped victor "deez nuts" vonstrongenburg jonson and he forefit the last event...the "facesit"up...its purely abdominal isomeric they said but i knew better....i had been hitting the traps and rear delts with low reps.....i scored 108 kapuchbri-b'kittywoos....close to the universe record...these were the days before feeding the girls undercooked beans and apricots became restricted

      I dreampt this one time i was a little ginger kitty hobbit carrying a 77 pound bar of electrum walking really swiftly on this neat little kittyhobbit path and then out of the bushes comes this impossibly attractive gingerblood elf out for my ceruloplasmin...she pushes me off my trail and then the lesbian war rape happens....she takes the precious electrum....from that moment onward i knew god wanted me to be a deviant sex gladiator

      Each morning i start out with a magic elixor of garlic cloves,stinging nettle leaves,prune juice and pomegranite juice followed by the "peeing dog" exercise wearing shorts that have 40 pounds of resistance each "pocket"..its an exercise i devised myself...then it depends on what day it is man....chest and glutes....back and glutes...glutes with a little ham...etc

      this one day at band camp 23 skiddo i pulled a hammy...there were evil gingers in george jetson style personally operated vertical takeoff glass bubble flying contraptions...it was the blondes vs the gingers like harry potter in a winner take all game of the ol' hyper velocity electric silver nano particle beam exchange.....dey was buckin' at us...but i bucked back with that trey 5 7 in a futile effort to not be lesbian war raped

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      • HeTalksInMaths
        5 years ago

        Dare thee, in goodness' sake, repeat what thou hast declared towards my being, infimal canine female? Pray thee, be aware I have acquired formal mastery with excellence amongst my fellow students in the United States Navy's Sea, Air, and Land Teams, and I have been enrolled into a multitude of tactical, military strikes upon the militant Sunni Islamist multi-national organization of global terrorism known as "Al-Qaeda" or "The Base", and the absolute amount of enemy fatalities on my account exceeds three hundred, as reaffirmed by official authorities. I have thorough and extensive experience in the military offensive tactics developed by the Gorilla gorilla and the Gorilla beringei species endemic to the forrests of Africa, and I classify as the prime elite long-distance artillerist in the entirety of the bellic strategic assets of the United States of America. Thy existence, in my perspective, consists of barely more than yet one additional surface upon which to aim my ballistic assets. I shall eliminate thee systematically endowed with an infinitesimal margin of error in a globally uncontested manner yet to be witnessed in otherwise circumstances on this litomorphic celestial body where our species and all known forms of life inhabit, take reassured note of my exoteric proclamation. Is it of thy creed that thou art possessed of the liberty to verbally express that horrendous piece of excrement towards me across the worldwide interconnection of automated processing machines with utter lack of further repercussions? Do reflect upon this matter once more, fornicator. Congruently to the time frame of our parlaying, I am designating my incognito formal organization of undercover collectors of classified intelligence based out the national territory of the United States of America, and thy Internet Protocol is being investigated immediately, henceforth, I highly recommend you be at your absolute optimal conditions for being met with the entropic climatic phenomenon derived from chaotic interactions between the cycle of water, the wind currents, the atmospheric pressure and the local temperature, living organism of elongated and slim structure. The entropic climatic phenomenon derived from chaotic interactions between the cycle of water, the wind currents, the atmospheric pressure and the local temperature that throughoutly eliminates the ironically laughable minimum substance thou hast denominated thy life. Thou art notably deceased, infant. I am possessed of the capability to find myself at radiant locations in radiant points of the human perception of the cause-to-effect progression, and the courses of action at my disposal to assassinate thee sum up above the mark of seven hundred, accounting merely to the use of my unaided anterior limb attachments. My assets are not limited merely to formal martial arts, as I am entrusted with the entirety of the bellical power of the United States Corporations, and I will apply optimal use of said power to eliminate thy undernurrished posteriors from the surface of the extensive transnational body of land mass, thou minimal fecal matter. In the hypothetical occurance in which thou would'st been aware of the unorthodox subsequent consequences brought forth by thy "illuminated" passing remark upon thyself, hypothetically, thou would'st remained thy words in utter seclusion. Alas, thou could not, thou did not, and subsequently thou art complying to what is due, heaven-forsaken unwitted and foolish individual. I shall defecate relentless anger upon the entirety of thy surroundings, and thou shall suffocate upon its presence. Thou art notably deceased, infantee.

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        • johannis
          5 years ago

          Its with the 454 pound mystical sword of damku that i instinctively desire to mortally wound the juggular like a famished hybrid lyger finding its place amongst a pack of lions...waiting for the break of day in the hope the hyenas will stop pestering...cursith art thou fathers cock-froth festrith...I fornicate with a member of your close kin in a loving,passionate yet hurtful way when i spread the hay-fever to half your village after a night out Johnny-caking...i was going to sketch a quick pentagram and the passerbys may have guessed thats what i was drawing that one day at the archaic marketplace several lifetimes ago...but i was drawing a septegram...much more powerful symbol when your distant ancestor traded 2 chickens and a boomerang for a colorful gourd that would lead to your demise...HULLCRUX SEPTICURTH HULLCRUX SEPTICURTH HULLCRUX SEPţICURTH....dareth thou i̟͖͟n̶͖̲̠̻͉̯̪vOk.e wrath of a gingerwiţch...HSSSSSS HSSSSSSS...i roll 13 on 2 dice...release a poultergeist...it floated by it was cold as ice......MYSTIPLUMe PSYCLUSTICULT....we got them "thangs" home-slice....we be up in this bitch smoking "that bush"...we crossed it with purple murder face...very smooth...very mellow.....THOSE NAZIS DO ℣OODOO...they eat babies.....YOU BABY EAting monster....voice in my head is so clever you must be pulling some reverse witchcraft dejavoodoo on the technology box with your sound to symbol language patterns....strategically placed images on screens combined with subtle low frequency waves to influence my behaviour in such a way im off-kilter come game day....well i have news for you sonny-jim....i adapted my training to include 10,000 daily squat thrusts followed by 17 hours of brazillian jiu jitsu...its still fresh in my cerebral cortex...plus i carb-loaded with a quarter gallon of maple syrup and diabetic squirrel piss...i go WOOOO like rick flair home-skillet..crazy on those squat thrusts...like a humming bird son..i have a 1000 mg caffeine enema on standby for that moment 47 seconds before ninjas and the swat team plus seal team 6 and every yellow power ranger come "bussin" at me.....you got beef home-knee-hiyagga...I prepare for battle by masterbating 7 times to fart porn turned loud as possible then taking
          a 2 hour nap.lets squash this beef...swing first...come at me bro....i throw my spear into your future ancestors tractor beam and mess off their nitrogen isotope converter...costing them a cool 80-k....and then me and the village shaman have a good laugh about it and stir fermented mushrooms into a copper cauldren alonside thornapple,ayahuaska and peyote with basil and cinnamon to taste...very low carb...then we train lats and cardio....im a fool on that stair stepper .....KURSITH ART THOU........blood fart.......https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtV4QN4UPok

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