Is it normal i think people should just be honest about dating?

88% Normal

I wonder why no one is ever honest about dating. A lot of people hook up and leave after a month even if nothing is wrong since they said "Eh I was bored". Yet this happens with many situation and some people swap partners on a monthly bases.

Honestly if this is what you were planning why cant you just be upfront about it? "Hey I only plan on fooling around and most likely going to leave in a few months is that okay"?

Better yet why not just sign a contract that outlines the rules of the relationship. This would make it very clear. As in whats cheating, how many months you must be together and which holidays you spend together.

Such as "I hear by promise I will stay with so and so for so many months and participate in these list of holidays, After this amount of months is over I can choose to stay or leave". That way you know what your expecting, your not suddenly shocked, they cant leave you for someone else they have a contract, and unlike the people who leave "Right before holiday" you know which months you are not going to have a partner for".

I mean I personally have told people NO before on the grounds that I was going to screw it up. I said your nice but knowing myself I have a habit of ruining things so you probably should not go down that road. If they still assisted and I said yes I already warned them prior there might be problems. Why cant people just be honest?

Voting Results

88% Normal

Based on 17 votes (15 yes)

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Comments ( 34 )

Freedom_

9 years ago

Do you ask these people what their intentions are when you start dating them? Just be very open and ask what they expect and tell them what you expect. The thought of having a contract for dating is kind of ridiculous, although I can understand your point. Most people can't predict how they're gonna feel in a few months but if you know where they stand in the beginning you might be better prepared for the outcome.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Even if they cant predict it if they are leaving a partner but if you last your last 9 partners since you one day just decided "Eh this no fun no more going find someone else". I think its a safe prediction to say your "Wishy washy" and are not taking this very serious.
  
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  - Freedom_
    
    9 years ago
    
    Why date someone who already did that to 9 other partners?
    
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CountessDouche

9 years ago

The point of dating a person is to get to know them and decide whether or not they are the type of person you even want to BE in a long term relationship with. If you fully engaged right off the bat, you'd end up stuck with someone you aren't compatible with.

Have you never dated?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Uhm no that is called going on a "Date" or "Multiple dates" not dating a person. Dating a person means you already made a commitment to this person and going to be introducing them as "Your lover/partner/boyfriend/girlfriend".
  
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  - CountessDouche
    
    9 years ago
    
    No.
    
    I understand very clearly the difference between going on dates (which serve the purpose of determining whether or not you attracted to someone and whether or not you want to pursue something more) and dating (where you choose to enter into a committed relationship with that person).
    
    When you enter a relationship, you don't have all the information required to see if you are compatible as life mates.
    
    For example, you wouldn't know what their living habits are, as you've never lived together; you might not know if you are sexually compatible; you might not know how the other person deals with conflict; you wouldn't know how the other person handles their finances (which is highly relevant in a marriage, but none of your fucking business when you're just dating).
    
    Being in a relationship is your chance to test out your compatibility, to discover more about one another, and to basically do a test run at having a life together.
    
    If you find that you aren't compatible, then why in the world would you stay together? You would just be stealing time away from yourself and your significant other that could be better spent finding a person who does fit with you, not to mention creating a lot of resentment.
    
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cosmictripster

9 years ago

I think your idea of dating is a little off, it's not some business contract where you are legally bound to a person, that's called marriage lol. I agree that being honest in your relationships is a good thing but you don't always know how you'll feel in the future and it's not like there's some sort of rule book on how to date a person, everybody's different.

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chained_rage

9 years ago

I blame reality television

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- donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
  
  9 years ago
  
  damned alaskan gold miners ruined it for everyone
  
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RoseIsabella

9 years ago

*looks through a catalog of running shoes*

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howaminotmyself

9 years ago

I thought that was the point of dating. Who goes on one date and assumes a committed long term relationship. You shouldn't have to clarify that you are not in it for the long haul, it isn't a proposal, just a date.

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- theseeker
  
  9 years ago
  
  That doesn't make much sense. I thought the point of dating was trying to find a long-term relationship? Otherwise, it's pointless in my opinion. Unless it's a booty call.
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Yeah it kind of is. A Date figures out if you want to stay with that person in a committed relationship at which point you are considered "Going out" or "Dating" as some call it.
    
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  - howaminotmyself
    
    9 years ago
    
    That's fine, but not everyone operates that way. Everyone isn't ready for a long term relationship and just want companionship. Some just date for fun. It isn't pointless to share in the company of another individual.
    
    It is a big mistake to go on a date with such high expectations of a long term relationship. That is a great way to scare someone away.
    
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    - theseeker
      
      9 years ago
      
      Well, you might not know what to expect when you're dating someone at first. I'm not saying I would be the type to wanna jump into marriage right away. However, I probably wouldn't try to date if I didn't at least think there was at least some connection or potential there, or just for the fact that they were there and I was lonely. I think that's a bad way to approach it.
      
      That's where I agree with whoever created this post. People do it, but I don't understand it because why waste your time on something if you know it's not going to work out in the end? I realize people like company. No one likes to feel lonely, but when you know you're not compatible it's time to move on. I'd rather wait for the right one.
      
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      - howaminotmyself
        
        9 years ago
        
        Well then, we shall never date.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        You also keep saying that some date to screw around and some are taking serious. So why exactly are you going to tell the people who take it serious they dont have a right to look for a serious relationship anymore? Explain to why we have to cater to the desperate since they cant be upfront about it? Why do we all have to cater to you? Tell me why your so special?
        
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      - Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        I think How is taking my Dating to mean going on Dates vs just getting in a committed relationship. Which is how some people do it they just go on a few dates and decide if they are going to stay or leave.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Its not just a date its a relationship.
  
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  - howaminotmyself
    
    9 years ago
    
    Dates are not relationships and most do not view them as such.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      Yeah if you are dating the person you are in the relationship you dont just go out to dinner once or twice.
      
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      - howaminotmyself
        
        9 years ago
        
        Sorry, no. Just because you keep saying it, it doesn't make it true. Damn girl, back off.
        
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        Anonymous Post Author
        
        9 years ago
        
        When I say Dating I not talking about "Dinner once and twice" I mean in a relationship and saying "Yes lets be girlfriend/boyfriend". Not I may or may not be your partner but lets see if I still like you after these dates.
        
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal i think people should just be honest about dating?