Is it normal i think i might be a psychopath

Sometimes I feel if I knew science better I would have become a mad scientist. I seriously have a really dark sense of humor, and I tend to be rather paranoid. Along with that I like dissecting things but it would be unethical to physically do it so I just study peoples brains instead. Why I like psychology. You can run experiments and study without hurting your subjects. In fact most of my life I kind of saw people as subjects. Even people I loved or considered friends were subjects to me.

I use to watch people and wonder how interesting it would be to see what was inside that person but that would be unethical. I also have pets but I love them so much. However at the same time I kind of want to experiment on my animals. Whats odd is the fact I love them makes me want to do it more. I dont know why. When I love something I want to study it but I dont want to hurt anything.

I kind of had an urge to give my pets different food see how their bodies react to it. I was curious is stuff like aspirin and coke would have the same effect on animals or not. However since I dont know enough to know if it would hurt the animals I dont do it. I think if I had another upbringing I might have turned out as a bad person, or perhaps most scientist are just a certain brand of crazy and I have the same potential. This makes me objective, helpful, analytical, loyal and generally optimistic and moral.

I tend to believe everyone is useful but I just see people as a bunch of cogs. I never really saw people as anything more than data, and so I never made attachments well. I either am under attached or overly attached. This makes me too useful and again I know I am simply a cog. My emotions do not matter, I do not matter unless I am some use to the world. This is my entire philosophy.

I have been able to bring people back from the pit of disappear since I have faith they can be some use to the world. However at the same time I realize how heartless that really is but that seems to work for people. Many people want to kill themselves since they feel they are "Useless" since I think everyone is "Useful" I tend to cheer others up a lot. I have faith in everyone but I dont really think I am a good person. I try to be but I know inside I will always be a monster. Useless people do not belong in this world, if I am useless I must leave it. Does this make me a cruel person?