Is it normal i think i'm a little bit autistic?

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9 Comments

I'm probably not but I've been examining some of my behaviors lately and it's caused me to feel like I am, or something.

I'll keep it short since I'm on mobile and scrolling up on this is a bitch but here's a few reasons I think I am...

I have a really intense imagination that I escape to, daydreaming on a daily basis. Usually I fade out when I'm doing a repetitive or boring task, right before bed, or I'm in a situation I don't like so I recreate it in my mind but more "fun". What's happening in reality and what's happening in my mind are similar, but with a different version of myself and characters instead of the people I'm with (usually existing characters from media I enjoy).

Uhhhh, I don't really have a filter. I usually don't think before I speak and that causes me to talk very fast, it's hard for people to follow.

I'm just not funny like at all. Like of course I laugh at my own jokes and at a shitload of other random crap, but I know the average person doesn't find me funny. Maybe amusing, like a planecrash but not funny.

I'm really fixated on this one anime from my childhood. I imagine myself in that world often (like what I mentioned above) , I rewatch it constantly but I'm not stupid enough to talk about it all the time (where it's inappropriate. I can distinguish that much). I don't know, it's bad, like a shitty show but I'm just obsessed with it. I have really find memories of it as a child so I guess I associate the show with happy memories and escaping to it makes me happy and calm.

Oh and I pace in circles around my room to exert energy. When J do this I listen to music and - surprise - daydream. That's how I stay so goddamn skinny despite eating like a horse.

Anyways,

People know I'm /off/, but not in a creepy, "I wouldn't want to be alone with you" type of way.

When I got to my new job I tried to be normal and fit in but my weirdness just slipped. I know I'm cringe, but I'm happy. I have so many friends there and they don't seem to mind my oddities, but I guess it's easy to excuse me since I'm not *socially* awkward and I'm attractive. Because of those two things I think everything else is overlooked, LOL. So I don't really care about not fitting in with my interests but..

Part of me just wonders if I'm normal, just more open and honest with my likes and true feelings. I just want to know if something's wrong with me? The only frustrating thing about everything I've mentioned above is that, because I daydream and pace so much it's difficult for me to get anything done. I can't focus. I have so much energy and it doesn't go anywhere productive because I legit spend hours doing NOTHINC but daydream and pace. And there's so much I want to do.

I thought I had ADHD for a while but when I told my doctor it felt like he didn't really believe me. He's a nice guy but I didn't feel good trying to express my feelings on that so I dont know what the fuck to do. Lol.

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Based on 10 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • palehorse
    4 years ago

    I pace and daydream too. Cannot relate to the rest of it.

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  • ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet
    4 years ago

    High functioning autistic & other then "it doesn't go anywhere productive" I'm exactly the same (almost literally), from the pacing in circles while listening to music & daydreaming, to extreme fixations with interests.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      You ghostwrote this!

      I'm kidding lol. Well it makes me feel better to know there's someone out there who paces. May I ask how old you are and when you started it? I'm 23 and for me it's been ever since I could walk, never grew out of it. Also not to be nosy but I'm curious what your fixation is??

      Also, how do you manage your energy and put it to good use? Looking for tips!

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      • ThatOneGuyYouNeverWantToMeet
        4 years ago

        24, I started pacing & daydreaming a little after my first week of school (6).

        My fixation is combat sports & hand-to-hand combat in general.

        On my excess energy output. When not working, non stop training till I physically can't anymore (practicing moves/techniques, sparing/grappling, lift weights/hit heavy bag) then afterwords play video games/write.

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  • 4w04se
    4 years ago

    that sounds like me.. but hey you got a job that's normal, must be doing something right. Be proud of yourself! and hey you are your own self, day dreaming alot just means you have imagination and that means you have a creative mind, don't let it make you feel awkward, but special really.

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  • litelander8
    4 years ago

    Keep it short?! TLDR

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  • CountessDouche
    4 years ago

    I was gonna say, you might have ADHD, but it seems you looked into that. You could be mildly autistic, but it sounds like you are functional. As much as autism has become a more widely recognized & diagnosed & talked about...thing (I won't say disease here, because I don't think it necessarily is), it exists on a spectrum & there are a lot of variations in behavior that have been classed as "autistic."

    Listen, if it bugs you & you want some direction when it comes to changing some of your habits, you could get tested & diagnosed...sounds like you are already seeing a dr. Idk how much that would help you, knowing that you are indeed autistic. It sounds like you are very self aware about some of the issues you are having & you could just get some recommendations about how to deal with those behaviors without being formally diagnosed, instead of being saddled with a definative title.

    I guess it would depend on whether a diagnosis would help. Would it give you some relief & a proverbial lightbulb "oh that's why" moment & the option of finding some tools to fix things? Or would it give you an excuse & allow you to just tell yourself- oh I'm borderline aspie, so no need to care, that's who I am? I guess my suggestion would be- before you spend a bunch of energy looking for a diagnosis- figure out what you'd do with it...would it be a positive or negative thing for you?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      4 years ago

      Hey, thanks for your comment, I appreciate how you took the time to give me an equally in-depth response!

      Ah yeah, I didn't clarify, my bad..The purpose of me wanting to know for sure, whether it be confirming or denying is so that I can figure out what I can do to become better - not use it as an excuse. I should have made that clear, I'm sorry!

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      • CountessDouche
        4 years ago

        :) no problem dude, & in that case, a diagnosis would probably give you some direction so you should ask your dr.

        The fact that you are extremely self aware & working on bettering yourself is super impressive & something most people fail hard at, so you should be proud of yourself.

        & just keep in mind, that not all of the qulaties you listed are inherently bad. One of the things I appreciate about our culture these days, is that it's now cool to be weird, get sidetracked, have strange interests & geek out on shit nobody cares about. Nowadays that makes you interesting & endearing, so if you do have autism, or even if you are just weird, they to focus on correcting the behaviors that do actual damage to your life & productivity; the ones that keep you from being happy & not the ones that make you...a bit different- because being a bit different makes you a bit awesome.

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