Is it normal i think i already know the answer......

13% Normal
20 Comments

I've been with my bf for 4 years now. He smokes pot regularly - I never touch the stuff. Initially I overlooked it because I was in love. He then started growin it in the basement and since it was hidden from sight, I overlooked it. I've since bought a new house that we were supposed to move into. He started saying he wanted to grow there and I refused. He then said he would stay in the current house one more year to sock the $ away but we'd stay at both places. I moved all of my things and made the place really nice for him so he would know I appreciated the 'sacrifice'. Nearly 3 weeks later he's made no mention or implication that he's going to come to the new house. When I say I'm not gonna stay and we need to go spend some time at the new house, he says I'm supposed to be wherever he is and gets mad. I feel totally duped! I can't stand living out of a box. I want to be at the new place. Fixing it up and moving on with a positive and healthier life. I don't think it's fair that he said one thing, then has BS actions. And, keeps asking when we're getting married. He also wants me to get a mortgage on a house across the street so he can live there and do his business closer to the new house. Oh geez - so many issues here. I am pretty certain this is not a normal relationship. What to do and why am I having so much trouble doing it?

Voting Results
13% Normal
Based on 48 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    If he is unwilling to give up his pot operation for you and you are unwilling to live with who is essentially a dealer then there isn't a compromise to be made.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      I agree. If he wants to be a drug dealer, that's his choice, he chooses what he wants. If he doesn't want to leave that behind, he is entitled to his choices.

      If she doesn't want a partner to be a drug dealer, then she is entitled to her choice to find someone not going to be a drug dealer.

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  • Mmmpfh
    11 years ago

    Neeeeeh he sounds like a mooch. Please don't get a mortgage for his sake.

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  • Queen^of^Spades
    11 years ago

    break up with that freak. he could drag you into the drug stuff and get you arrested for no particular fault of yours.He also sounds like an asshole, expecting you to sacrifice stuff for him and his illegal business.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    if the police are involved you are safe that all that matters atm

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    piss in his pot

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  • curiouskate101
    11 years ago

    letz look at the facts. it is you or pot and he choosed pot. that cant be true love and it sounds like hes circling the drain. do u really wanna get dragged down? theres plenty fish in the sea i suggest u find a new one

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    Just go to the new house by yourself if you have to. Tell him he can keep the old one, but he's paying for it. That house can be his responsibility and if he misses you enough he will stay with you atthe new place more. personally, i approve of pot growing, but he should any to grow too, not just stay in one place forever.

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  • lillypoppy
    11 years ago

    if you love him then maybe go into the business? its actually really fun growing! if you dont love him then leave him.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Call the fucking police or I will.

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  • thanksforthefreecar
    11 years ago

    Leave him.

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Meh, I *guess* it's understandable that it's something you dislike. But it's also perfectly understandable for your husband to keep doing what he's doing, if he's been growing for so long I'd assume he's rather good at it and obviously loves what he's doing.

    I would make a suggestion but I suppose it's a little too late since you bought a house... move to a state that allows medical and your husband could become a caretaker for dispensary patients, growing different medicinal strains just for those people.

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    • plum6
      11 years ago

      I actually agree! Obviously from your perspective it simply seems like a very bad and even illegal and kind of dangerous (legally speaking ofcourse) way of life that should be dismissed ASAP.

      However, think about your BF who probably not only greatly enjoys his (illegal yet probably profitable) venture. He most likely spent countless hours getting to where he is at this point, this is not easy to just forget about.

      It would probably also mean that he would have to get a legitimate job which would most certainly pay far less whilst being far more demanding (I can imagine the drug-dealing/producing business is not really a CV-Building activity).

      So even though what he is doing is obviously not a sustainable way of managing his and your life, it probably is something he is attached to in ways that he can't easily dismiss.

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      • myboyfriendsbitch
        11 years ago

        That is IF he is making money off of out it. Many people who grow and smoke will smoke that profit up.

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        • plum6
          11 years ago

          yeah ofcourse, I assumed that the guy at least made some profit, how else would he be able to afford to purchase property without any other form of income. If the situation would in fact involve the guy using all his product without realizing any financial gain he would not be anything but a junkie and being involved with him would be a complete fail to begin with.

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          • myboyfriendsbitch
            11 years ago

            Well i wouldn't call him a junkie. Lol. Just a pothead.

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            • plum6
              11 years ago

              if this situation involved hard-drugs he would be a junkie, but because it involves weed you consider him a pothead. Fact is that even though a pothead sounds much more acceptable it does make people just as useless. BAM

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  • shuggy-chan
    11 years ago

    yeah, that is lame on his part, i guess pot > then love in this situation. SMH

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