Is it normal i think friend zone is connected to narcissism?

48% Normal

This is really something a narcissist would do. People end up in the friend zone because they are A.Too cowardly to ask the girl or B.Cant get over her if she turns them down. A normal mature person would ask and if she says no try someone else. They would not whine about "I am in the friend-zone" because you know that is where they want to be. Its a delusion they create as a mechanism to deal with their low self esteem. Which is exactly what narcissists do.

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48% Normal

Based on 46 votes (22 yes)

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Comments ( 43 )

SkullsNRoses

9 years ago | pl

I agree with you OP, "friendzone", in my experience, has been a term used by butthurt people who refuse to accept that their love interest has rejected them and try to twist the situtation so that their rejecter looks like they're in the wrong.

Don't even get me started on the "Nice Guys" in the friend zone, they take narcism to the extreme.

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- [Old Memory]
  
  9 years ago
  
  Well, I kind of beg to differ. As a complete asshole (moi) who doesn't find it too hard to find someone interested, I definitely see plenty of nice guys being passed up for utter tools and assholes. I remember this one time when this guy who has clearly liked this girl for a long time and has been friends with her for a long time was sitting next to her, being all sweet, etc, and she sidelined talking to him to talk to me, a complete stranger, and was trying to flirt. The look on his face was just devastating even for me to see.
  
  So, although there are those claiming to be nice guys that aren't, and as much as I do think women (and men) can like assholes/bitches over good guys/girls all they want, there are guys that are put to the side that are nice guys for assholes.
  
  As much as people don't like to hear it, the fact that other women have even stated this to be the case suggests it is valid.
  
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  - SkullsNRoses
    
    9 years ago
    
    I'm not denying that people sometimes do chose the arsehole/bitch over a decent person, however 99% of the time they're not doing this is be pointlessly hurtful, they're doing it as they simply don't find their friend romantically or sexually attractive.
    
    People can't help who they like and trying to shame someone for not being attracted to you is narcism.
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      9 years ago
      
      I'm not saying it is something to be ashamed of, even when someone says "You friendzoned me".
      
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Shrunk

9 years ago

Exactly! I hate this new word of "friend-zone", its so annoying. They use it to put the blame on someone else for basically not wanting sex with them. They want all or nothing, which kind of proves that they didn't want a serious relationship in the first place if they consider being just friends as a waste of their time or whatever.

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- [Old Memory]
  
  9 years ago
  
  Claiming to be in the friend-zone is not a shaming thing, it's simply to state the position the person is in, and it is not exclusive to men, I have friend-zoned multiple women myself (and men, but hush. Lol).
  
  "They only want sex". I never liked that statement, you take all the humanity out of men. Did it ever occur to you that they have feelings for these people other than just primative sex drives? Guys have hearts too, you know.
  
  It's not the case of "being just friends as a waste", it's that developing feelings for someone and being reminded of not being anything more than a friend (friendzone) would be emotionally painful for them to endure, especially if the person displayed interest in another person, so they would rather be rid of the whole relationship so they don't have to endure it all and can move on.
  
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  - Shrunk
    
    9 years ago
    
    Yeah, I guess I don't fully understand the whole idea of romantic love that way. People have tried to explain that to me, too, I just think that it doesn't become a ''relationship'' without sex or at least some kind of hints at the desire for it (flirting), at least that's been my experience. If they have "feelings" without romance/sex, then it's just friendship to me, so maybe I'm the one being primitive here but that's just how i see it... I would love to meet a guy that isn't after sex, I know they exist it just seems so rare...
    
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    Most people who use it only use it as an excuse to harass people for not dating them. If people didn't see it as a reason to attack others it wouldn't be such an issue.
    
    I was being harassed since this gay person had a crush on me. They seemed to expect that I was going to eventually go out with them even though it was never agreed upon. When I asked them to cosplay with me as two characters from a show that were best friends they blew a fuse.
    
    They said I friend zoned them and wouldn't stop crying about it. Than they said I was a shallow asshole for not liking them back and I hadn't even officially rejected this person yet. Now every-time I am around they talk shit to me and tell everyone what a jerk I am. They stopped being my friend since I didn't date them.
    
    We were the SAME GENDER and they did this too me.
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      9 years ago
      
      Have you met most people that state this? I have only heard it said a few times, and most of the time it was used in a joke manner when they were rejected, not to shame anyone, just like "Uh oh...Friendzoned" type of thing.
      
      I think the issue is that a lot of women claim to want a good guy and complain about "assholes" so much that when the person being nice is friendzoned while the type she complains about gets a shot, the guy is leaning back like "Wtf was that big speech about assholes and the lack of nice guys a minute ago?"
      Ofcourse there will be some that use it as shaming, I won't deny that, but I myself have been standing back and pissed off for some nice guys for those guys being friendzoned by a specific girl due to how much she claimed to want that type of guy and went for an asshole, sometimes myself.
      
      One crazy asshole does not speak for everyone in the subject, obviously.
      
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dickwashington

9 years ago

i dont know what you would you consider this me and this girl started as friends over time we became better and better friends then i started to develop feelings for her eventually told her about it she shot me down things got akward we stoped talking to each other for a few weeks then started talking again now we are close of friends as ever before i still have these strong feelings for yet havent let that stop me from pursuing other girls and whatnot yet i cant quite seem to get over her no matter what

what exactly would you call that?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  That is called maturity.
  (A normal mature person would ask and if she says no try someone else.) Glad you have some.
  
  Your not obligating them to love you back and you are not saying "Oh you friend zoned me you bitch. I am never going to talk to you again".
  
  You got shot down, you got over it and you are not letting it prevent you from asking out other girls. Or even being her friend for the matter. That is how it should be but most people who cry friend zone NEVER do this.
  
  Normal people do this! Whining jerks don't! They just moan about how they got friend zoned and how we all need to pity them. Than they become so emasculated by the fact the person doesn't love them back they completely dump the person completely.
  
  If your friend returns this type of love or not it doesn't change they might still care about you as a person. Dumping someone because they wouldn't have sex or date you is incredibly shallow. If you truly cared for the person you would still be their friend. Though being upset for a short time after rejection is perfectly normal since rejection always hurts.
  
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

Come on ItDuz, give us some input haha.

I guess I am not entirely sure what you are getting at here. I don't think narcissists have low self-esteem (quite the opposite) and according to what I know, they tend to have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, so a narcissist sniveling in the friend zone doesn't make sense. It seems like the guy would simply blow it off rejection, saying something like "bitch, I am too fabulous for you to handle anyways" instead of sitting there in the friend zone.

I also think you are over simplifying the dynamics of the friendzone a bit in the first place. I am also confused about "They would not whine about "I am in the friend-zone" because you know that is where they want to be." Huh? The normal people don't whine about being in the friendzone because they want to be in the friendzone? You lost me :/

Anyways. No I don't think being in the friendzone has anything to do with narcissism.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  No narcissists have low self esteem. The reason they act like they are so wonderful is because they want people to think so. http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissistic-personality-disorder So contrary to what it might appear to be no that is not REAL confidence.
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  I never said "Normal people whine about being in the friend zone" I said "Normal people know how to move on". Please reread the post.(A normal mature person would ask and if she says no try someone else.) People in the friend zone choose to be in the friend zone because they are A.a coward or B.Cant learn to move on.
  
  They also don't understand the fact not everyone you love is going to love you back. So no man or woman is obligated to love you. Also given the fact you don't understand what narcissism is you probably wouldn't understand the comparison I just made.
  
  Like saying you don't think an animal is a feline when you have no concept of what a feline is. If a person is rejecting you it doesn't mean you cant find another person. If you never tell someone how you feel you cant expect them to magically figure out what you think.
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    I still don't think your conjecture is the ultimate science behind the friend zone, but I can see where you are coming from. Sure, it CAN be connected to narcissism in some cases, but I haven't met a narcissistic person irl, and have seen plenty in the friend zone. Most people I have seen in the friend zone are little weaklings with no narcissistic mask.
    
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- [Old Memory]
  
  9 years ago
  
  Are you implying this post was made by me or asking for my input on the discussion? :P
  
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  - Anonymous Post Author
    
    9 years ago
    
    I think they are actually implying that you are narcissistic. Not saying I agree either way though. I am pretty sure they know you didn't write this though.
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      9 years ago
      
      I don't think so, she was wanting my input, I think. :)
      
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    9 years ago
    
    Asking for input :) wondering if you've been in the friendzone
    
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    - [Old Memory]
      
      9 years ago
      
      I think we've all been in the friendzone by someone, whether or not we had interest in them to notice being in that zone is another thing. I myself haven't been in a position where I have been rejected (not to sound vain), so I would say no, but like I said, I am sure some people I knew would of if I was interested in them as more than a friend. :)
      
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      - [Old Memory]
        
        9 years ago
        
        You dont seem like the relationship type.
        
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        [Old Memory]
        
        9 years ago
        
        You wouldn't be wrong. Lol.
        
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- [Old Memory]
  
  9 years ago
  
  And yes, there is an extra it I forgot to cut out, but I can't go back and edit the dang comment.
  
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Aus10m

5 years ago

The friendzone is an imbalanced relationship where a person presents their attraction, and is rejected because the rejector doesn’t value that person on the same level. They’ll then project their incompatiblity with the rejected in public by not addressing them by their first name and instead use nicknames like “buddy” and “friend”. Especially in front of new prospects the rejected may introduce them to. The rejector may be interested in romance, just not with the person they rejected, and is acting narcissistic when they invite the rejected to an event and project their incompatibility in public at that event. That is not friendship. This is marginalizing and unbalanced to depersonalize the platonic friend in public in front of their peers. It is taking that person from a first name basis, to depersonalizing that person in public with a generic nickname. The rejected just wants to make that person happy, because they want to be loved by them, so they allow the abuse while the rejector also feeds off of the attention they’re receiving and control they have over the rejected.. Friends don’t project their romantic rejection of you in public. They are not your friend to project incompatibility, and your best option is to leave them as you are experiencing a form narcissistic abuse

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Lishka

8 years ago

Friendzone is actually good. This hookup culture is something new. People used to court, and that's essentially what friendzone is.

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DangerousPotatoGuy

9 years ago

In my case, I didn't even like the girl but she kinda chose to be friends with me. What baffled me was she knew that I had a girlfriend. I took it as maybe she was just living under the fallacy that when I break up with my girlfriend she'd be there to replace her. Is that how narcissism works?

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/narcissistic-personality-disorder
  
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  9 years ago
  
  Do you know she liked you or are you assuming? She might have just wanted to be your friend. You can have a girlfriend and chick friends and not SLEEP with every one of them. So it does not mean all your friends are out to fuck you. Its not a requirement that you sleep with every female you hang out with. You probably didn't have sex with your grandmother, or mom or aunt.
  
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  - DangerousPotatoGuy
    
    9 years ago
    
    I found out from her brother and that was before she admitted she once had a crush on me, which for some reason was "nothing now that we're friends" and she's over it.
    
    Edit : I'm not a mean person so if it matters we're still tight buddies [with her]
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      9 years ago
      
      So why does it matter than? She had a crush and got over it?
      
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      - DangerousPotatoGuy
        
        9 years ago
        
        I still feel like I friendzoned her. It doesn't bother me as much so whatevs.
        
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[Old Memory]

9 years ago

The friendzone is when two people are in a platonic relationship and one person in that relationship wants a romantic relationship with the other...That's all it is. If that is the situation, then they are in the friendzone.

I don't get why people make such a big deal out of this, it's as if those that friendzone need to defend themselves for simply not choosing someone as if they feel guilty.

I've friendzoned many people and not (to my knowledge) been friendzoned, and even I can see that it's nothing more ad nothing less than what I explained at the top.

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- wigz
  
  8 years ago
  
  It's because it's a verb that implies somebody did something to you. 'I got friendzoned' doesn't say simply 'we just weren't on the same page', it says more like 'I deserve to be with you and you coldheartedly rejected me for reasons I can't reconcile'
  
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  - [Old Memory]
    
    8 years ago
    
    Well I mean I'm sure it can mean that but I can't say I agree that it exclusively means what you explained. Heard it used in both senses to be honest. Lol. :P
    
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    - wigz
      
      8 years ago
      
      You're right, there's casual or joking use of the term and then there's those using it as a serious thing. I was talking about the latter.
      
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Are You Normal?

Is it normal i think friend zone is connected to narcissism?