Is it normal i still have hate for my old past friends?

100% Normal

I used to have a couple of close girl mates on my teenage years. They were not great friends but we had lots fun,smoking weed and just hanging out.

With having said that I always felt left out and that they did leave me out.
They called eachother best friends and I just didn't feel like I fit in exactly.
My lifestyle was very different to theirs and moral compass.
Basically they had no morals of one of my friends was a compulsive liar where as the other one wasn't as intense but did cause some shit.
I'm 23f now and I noticed on Facebook that they still hang sometimes, despite living hours apart and call eachother besties.

It still infuriates me tbh the fact that they're friends.
One of the girls I felt closer to (the one that wasn't a compulsive liar), and I'm just bummed out they're still mates.

I am no longer friends with either of them but I still feel pissed..IIN?

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Based on 6 votes

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Comments ( 15 )

horny_simpletons

6 years ago

Well you basically said they have no morals so maybe you're better off without them.
I kind of understand how you feel - I have a friend I was close with 2 years ago, but for months now she's been close with this grown ass woman who acts like an angst ridden SJW. She basically admitted to my friend that she has a crush on her, which is gross because the other woman is married with a kid so it's practically cheating. Whatever, I know it's not my place to intervene. Sometimes I just miss who my friend used to be; she's changed since she met her newer friend. But if she's not the same person anymore, I realize maybe I don't need her.

Sorry, I didn't mean to go off on one there. If looking at your friends' posts on social media upsets you, my advice is don't do it. You'll find good loyal friends, don't worry.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Yeah I think I shouldn't do it, I blocked one of my ex friends and I probably should do it with the other to stop temptation
  
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  - Ellenna
    
    6 years ago
    
    Yep, block them: your resentment isn't affecting them, it's only affecting you so stop re-awakening it on facebook
    
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Thanks I appreciate you opening up about your situation/story!!:)
  
  I am sorry u lost your friend and in regards to the cheating part well maybe she's not having an affair but just has a crush? After all it has to be mutual and the lady has to like women too in order for something to happen.
  
  It suckered though, when people change around others (in a bad way).
  Makes u feel like you're left out and that u don't know them as the person that they used to be.
  
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  - horny_simpletons
    
    6 years ago
    
    Yes, they're both bisexual. Not judging because so am I. She's called her "hot" so I feel like it's one step below cheating. But I don't know what her relationship with her husband is like, nor is it any of my concern. Maybe it was just jealousy that made me see it as more than what it is.
    
    You perfectly summed up what it feels like. Best of luck finding better friends.
    
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[Old Memory]

6 years ago

5+ years of harboring high school resentment? I’d say you need to let go, and stop with the Facebook already, you’re an adult now.

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- nikkiclaire
  
  6 years ago
  
  Definately stop with the facebook.
  
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Ps4player

6 years ago

Fuck them friends go get you new ones

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Mehereok1

6 years ago

Let it go. I lost contact with a former, very long-time friend, tried contacting him, and online, even his sister to tell her "tell your brother I'm still alive". Haven't heard a word in many years, another of our group of friends told me he hadn't seen or heard from the guy in almost 20 years, and, I gave up, washed my hands of the guy. Not angry, but, not chasing anyone, either. He was always the paranoid, way-negative one of our group anyway. No huge loss for me.

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RoseIsabella

6 years ago

What you are describing is called a resentment. Maybe you should start attending Codependents Anonymous meetings? A Fourth Step Inventory can be an extremely healing thing. Also I think it could really help you to speak to a therapist or priest about all of this as well.

Have you ever stopped to consider the fact that perhaps your friendships with these girls were a form of slumming? Did it ever occur to you that these females were probably below you? I personally think Facebook is a load of poo and a waste of time. Spending time on Facebook is a good way to start feeling bad about yourself! Try to focus on things they make you feel good about yourself instead of wasting time on Facebook dwelling on the past.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  6 years ago
  
  Thankyou for this response and I appreciate you taking the time to reply thoroughly !:)
  
  I don't believe in the bible but do u think I really need councelling of some sort ?
  
  What's a form of slumming?
  
  Yeah I'll try focus on myself ty ty :33
  
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  - RoseIsabella
    
    6 years ago
    
    I think counseling could certainly help you. I guess what I mean by slumming is that you were perhaps associating with people who were below you. What really caught my eye was your remarking that some of these people lacked a moral compass. Have you ever thought about of trying to meet new and more appropriate friends? I think your bad feelings are normal, because you're only human, and you want to be loved and accepted just like anyone else. Be good to yourself.
    
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    - Anonymous Post Author
      
      6 years ago
      
      oh okay I mean probably a good idea but it'd be stressful seeing a person who I don't know and opening up and all.
      
      Yes I am aware I was not hanging around the best of people.
      
      I have made better friends now and thankyou for being kind and helpful!:)
      
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      - Ellenna
        
        6 years ago
        
        I don't think you need counselling for this unless your feelings persist after you block them on facebook,so try that first
        
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      - RoseIsabella
        
        6 years ago
        
        You're very welcome! You deserve good things!☺
        
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Is it normal i still have hate for my old past friends?