Is it normal i regret reported molestation because now im being punished?

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9 Comments

As a child and this was a long time ago. I got over it but my parent wanted to bring it up. The family member happens to be part of the family so are always there at family reunion.

I understand they are at the reunions and I got over and dealt with it. However my parents insist on bringing it up since they think I need to remember this.

How do you tell someone nicely that you don't want to be reminded without them being upset? I thought this was a reasonable request but they took it as I stopped loving them. I am an adult now I didn't really realize if it was wrong or not as a child. So I guess in my mind that lessens how bad it should have been for me.

They are a lot more upset about it than I am currently and I figured it was in the past. I know I am now terrible for reporting it and I know I should have just kept my mouth shut. If I did I would not now be punished for it.

They expect me to feel more than I do but I was never emotional enough for them. I was kind of distant and since I was young I was sort of detached. I care a lot less for most things. If someone finds something sad I might not necessarily find it sad unless its incredibly traumatic and more often if I see something wrong my first reaction is anger. I don't think most things are sad like a normal person would and I understand im not normal. How do you explain this to someone who expects more?

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 28 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • AkatsukinoOokami
    9 years ago

    Why the FUCK, has your family not disowned said molester!!!

    you did the right thing..... unless you lied!?
    which im not saying you did!!!!!

    it sounds to me that you parents took it worse then you did, and the fact that you don't remind them of it, or are not emotionally unstable (random guess) somehow makes them feel guilty about not giving more sympathy over the incident to you (possibly because of the way you reacted, they felt you did not need it....... or their just dicks).

    So to sate their 'parent complex of guilt' they now try to leach feelings out of you so they can sympathize.

    I base this on absolutely no professional background

    If the said molester was someone very close to both parents...... say a older brother (from what seems to be the cause not to many woman molest children) they could just have some twisted sense of sibling loyalty and are trying to make you feel guilty for involving the police.

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  • VirgilManly
    9 years ago

    You sound normal.
    You're family on the other hand sounds fucked up.

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  • handsignals
    9 years ago

    Questions: A/some relatives molested you, you reported it, and you all get together for reunions and your family get pissed off with you about it because it's kind of awkward?

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    There is something seriously wrong with your family.
    It is good that you reported it.
    If I had a child who was molested by someone, that person would not live to see any more family reunions.
    Your family should be ashamed.

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  • ParadiseLost1323
    9 years ago

    Sounds like it affected you more than you think
    (Based off of the paragraph about you being distant.)

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      No... I was always this way.

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      • ParadiseLost1323
        9 years ago

        No, you are normal but your family is
        ......
        sorta messed up. No offense. I think you did the right thing, but thats just my opinion.

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  • mscurriouus
    9 years ago

    They need to leave you alone. You probably do have feelings about it but prefer to put them away, and they need to stop prying. Seriously wtf. Being less emotional and having more of an anger stance could be part of it, or maybe it isn't. I won't say much but I had a similar experience. The only difference is my family got them far away, sent them off to their other family, never tried to make me talk about it later, and I've only had to see them once (over 10 yrs later, I was furious). I do get angry moreso than most people when I see people trying to take advantage of others. I don't sympathize with the receiver as much as I pump them up and try to make them see the people as the easily stepped on scum they really are, and how weak their domineering bs really is. I make them look small rather than intimidating, and crave to see the person stick up for themselves, and see shock smack the other's faces. I live in that satisfaction in my own way, somehow.

    Anyway, I'm ranting! I think my similar experience has something to do with it all. Your family feels guilty. Call them on their bs and walk away every time they start this nonsense. Good luck.

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  • Couman
    9 years ago

    I can't imagine why your parents think it's a good idea to keep bringing this up when you've made it clear you don't want to dwell on it. But it's not the first time I've heard of a molestation victim suffering from the fact that everyone else seems to think it was a bigger deal than they do. So I'd say your reaction is, in fact, normal.

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