Is it normal i'm nice but i have such horrible thoughts

67% Normal
7 Comments

I don't get it, I'm such a nice person to everyone and I can't seem to recall a single time that I've ever said a horrible thing to anyone just for the hell of it. Lately I've noticed that my horrible thoughts have INTENSIFIED.

What I mean by this is this-- for example; somebody I care about, like a nice old lady can be telling me a good story and I can really be into it and then all of a sudden this random thought comes out of nowhere in a screaming voice saying "SHUT THE FUCK UP! NOBODY CARES YOU OLD WHORE BITCH!!" (and I'm being DEAD serious) Sometimes these phrases put themselves on the tip of my tongue and almost come out and I have to slightly cringe and shuffle to stop it. It's freaky!

Another example would be this: somebody who is walking a little slow and has a broken leg or something is in front of me and I can't go around. Sometimes I get really hot and anxious and I want to scream! But I don't, and then the horrible thoughts start coming again, saying "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY YOU SLOW MOTHERFUCKER OR I'LL (insert threat here)"

It's really freaking me out and I honestly don't know how to get this under control sometimes, but its fucking me up a little.

Please don't jump to say something like "Oh you are on the verge of becoming a serial killer" or "Crazy schizophrenia guy needs to be locked up!"

I just want to know because its disturbing me a little. I want these thoughts out of my head.

Its not 24/7 but it happens at all the wrong times.

I know this shit ain't normal so I'm not even going to ask if it is.

help :(

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67% Normal
Based on 9 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Shelbs
    10 years ago

    Are you sure your thoughts aren't voicing what you really feel but don't say? To me, it sounds like you're annoyed more than anything. I mean, slow people make me mad too and I'll think "Get the f*** out of my way, slowpoke!!" But I would never say that, I mean, that would be rude.

    Nice old ladies can also make me mad if they talk for too long. Who wants to listen to someone tell a long and grueling story about how they won their bridge game last night? Not me.

    Point being, maybe you should accept these thoughts as a part of you. Then you won't feel so ashamed when you think them.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I don't know if its considered normal but it is common.
    You are having intrusive thoughts, which means you don't necessarily want to think those things, but you do. This is often a symptom of a subtype of OCD called OCD-obsessive type although you don't have to have OCD or any disorder to get these thoughts. We don't always have control over what we think and sometimes these thoughts happen for no apparent reason. Look up intrusive thoughts.

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  • Holzman_67
    10 years ago

    I think you are very repressed. Your need to feel liked and accepted has replaced your truthfulness and you've bottled a lot of your true emotions for fear of how others will receive them. You're just about brimming with them now.

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    • Shelbs
      10 years ago

      How becoming...

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  • Micro_Officer
    10 years ago

    I have always had these type of thoughts just not as subtle as you have them. I started out thinking about murdering someone but I would never do it because I am a nice person. Thougths like this are very normal.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I think it is normal. I have the urge to shout things like you mentioned, but instead I release any angry energy while I drive and cuss like a sailor at everyone and everything.

    (a light is red) YOU BITCH WHORE LIGHT, YOU STUPID PIECE OF TIN, I HAVE PLACES TO BE GODDAMNNIT

    (slow car) GAAAAAAH, YOU ARE WASTING MY LIFE, DRIVE YOU OLD GRANNY MOTHERFUCKER.

    It makes me feel so much better when I actually say those nasty thoughts, and while driving, no one can here me. I don't know if this is a good plan or not XD but it works for me and relieves any pent up aggression I have, because I am indirectly yelling at obstacles, slow people walking ahead of me (one of my biggest pet peeves), and anything else stressing me out.

    So next time you drive, try bitching out everything and see if it helps! It does for me.

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  • Energy
    10 years ago

    Normal. I hate it too. I always feel guilty, weird, and embarassed. On top of that, I sometimes feel like people can read my thoughts... Which REALLY gets to me.

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