Is it normal i'm making dumb mistakes at work but getting unfairly bullied?

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13 Comments

I started a new job about a month ago. It's in a cafe, where I work as a waitress and general assistant. I spend my days preparing food, unloading delivery vans and doing a hell of a lot of cleaning.

I've had lots of experience working in cafes before, and it's always ended up bad. Now, 4th time (!!!) round, I'm being bullied by my boss. Something you learn about working in cafes is that EVERY ONE does things differently. So if you go from one place to the next without a proper briefing from your boss, you can easily screw up without meaning to.

For the first week I was okay. 2nd week came and, naturally, I was making a few mistakes. It didn't help when my boss's wife kept coming in with a completely different way of doing things to her husband. Try having two people trying to negotiate on how staff should do things, and not giving you any proper briefing? With small mistakes being made, my boss suddenly singled me out, and started vulturing me. There were days when he was snarling personal insults at me, such as "Is there ANYTHING you understand?". When I apologised for my mistakes and made all the effort I could to set things right, he only growled "Your apologies mean NOTHING to me!". The 3rd week came and went with few run-ins. Now I've just reached the end of my 4th week, and today has been truly awful.

What bewilders me is that the man doesn't treat anybody else like this. He criticizes them, but he doesn't get personal with them. I've lost track of just how many times he's dumped personalized insults on me. He makes me feel small and stupid. I've seen other members of staff, HIMSELF included, getting away with all sorts. But if he catches ME making a mistake, he practically executes me in public for it. His style of management/training is completely improvised, and made-up and he goes along, so it seems. I'm sick of going home feeling tense and paranoid, like I could lose my job at any second! I think it's miserably inevitable. I WILL be fired again. Is it because I'm genuinely stupid? Or is it something else?

Today was awful because I made a pot of tea, and got it returned TWICE because I'd made it so bad. My boss told me to "JUST LEAVE!", after yelling "Everything you do is a problem! I've had enough! It's not fair on me!!"

I'm on the edge. I don't want to stay working in this joint, but nor do I want to go back to being unemployed. I'll take the blame for my mistakes, but I can't assume responsibility for my boss's violent attitude, and his obvious inability to train me up properly. He's made it quite clear that he doesn't like me as a person. He never talks to me as a person, whereas he treats everyone else like a human being, not a lump of shit.

Seriously, whats going on? I need help and clarification.

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Based on 46 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • joybird
    12 years ago

    Watch how the others make a pot of tea or do the other things!

    Reading your post I'd say you'd be more suited to secretarial or office work as your English grammar is superb. Maybe the work you're doing isn't actually your real strength. I'd definitely be looking for something else if I were you.

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    • AngAnders112
      12 years ago

      I agree. Maybe you should look for some other line of work.

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  • emilydoll
    12 years ago

    First of all you are not stupid, I can tell, and no one deserves to be treated like this. I suggest trying something else! You are being harassed as well! I would get out of there unless you it doesn't upset you or you can get better bur if i were u id quit cause it names u miserable start looking fir another job

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  • tigerlilja
    12 years ago

    Out of the 4-5 jobs I've had in the past, I've had one job just like this. It's as if we had the same manager, he was just like yours, always singling me about and spewing insults at me ESPECIALLY in front of customers so I couldn't rebuttal back.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    try sticking up for yourself you have nothing to lose and some people like yr boss only respond to that

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  • one_guy
    12 years ago

    Try labor board. Not normal. Obviously he hasn't put the time in to train you. Or maybe just confront him. Try to note everything down just in case he ever fires you, you have notes and dates on what happened.

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  • thetimeofyourlife
    12 years ago

    Maybe you should tell him to give you some formal on site training. Otherwise you cannot be made accountable for your mistakes.

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  • pambambam
    12 years ago

    Get out, he already lost respect for you and you don't deserve that!

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  • Juvu.Lotus
    12 years ago

    Thank you all for your comments. I feel a little better now. :) Replying to Joybird, I'd love to work in a secretarial or office assistant related post, but there are so few vacancies for that kind of work where I live.

    Plus, my maths is TERRIBLE. I got a D at GCSE level, and I've never gone near maths since then.

    I'm a very creative person though. I love painting, writing and photography. I keep daydreaming about setting up as a freelance illustrator, but then the realities of having little work make me think what's the point?

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    • BlueAlice
      12 years ago

      I know somebody who has done temping of various kinds and she got about the same grade in Maths as you did, if not lower.

      Maybe try using your skills in a different way e.g. volunteering to run an art/photography class or helping out with art and similar things at a school/care home?

      As for employment, I think that you'd be be better off as in admine/secretarial work, or even a mystery shopper.

      Your English is clearly very good and you're creative. Making assumptions here, I would guess that being creative comes with being observant about things; and you could role-play a conventional customer on a mission.

      Maths skills don't matter that much in that field, you can do it when you like (to some extent) and you get paid to shop/go to the cinema/elsewhere [As long as you fulfill the brief of each job).

      If you do decide to do it, the first few shops are pretty nerve-wracking. It might not make you super-wealthy, but it'd provide some income boost, give you new skills and test out your current ones.

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  • emilydoll
    12 years ago

    Learn to do it their way or leave maybe even apologize to the jerk and ask him to teach you do him a favor try to make him a better person he needs help maybe

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  • Darkoil
    12 years ago

    Sue him for harassment.

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  • truckerpatrice
    12 years ago

    purposefully mess up the little things, see what he says, he's already decided you're stupid, may as well play up to it.

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