Is it normal i'm grossed out by a 18 yr old dating a 61 yr old man?

41% Normal
17 Comments

So my friend is 18, just finished high school last yr and is entering her first yr of college. And even at 18, she's young but her face looks even younger as many think she's 13. She's a little mature for her age but also very naive. She's still figuring out who she is, still partying it up, doesn't yet have her license, is a virgin, never smoked or did drugs, still watches teen/young TV shows on disney, has a crush on one direction and never dated before him.

This guy is her professor and is 43 years older than her. He came onto her after class a week ago, said she was pretty and seemed mature and asked her age. He said she's his type/asked to go out for drinks. She said yes because she was pressured as he's old enough to be her grandfather and didn't know how to turn him down and told me he seemed "lonely". She said she was afraid to go out but she actually went anyway. He picked her up at the college after her last class and went to a bar. They spoke, got to know each other...and now she said they're an item. When she told me this, I was shocked.

She now text'd me that he asked her to come to his place after college sometime. I find this highly creepy, disgusting and irresponsible for a university professor who is an old grandpa. She told me his son is 40 years old. His own son is old enough to be her Father and his grandkids are her age!

I told her to stop this now because I'm worried for her safety and that he has nothing in common with her. I asked what they have in common, she said he likes history as much as her and they discuss it and he also loves France as much as her and has been there 6 times and wants to take her. Another thing is, he's been married three times in life and said he dated 30-50 people. She never dated before...

Is this just me or is this age gap horribly bad/unworkable and is he out of his mind for a uni professor to take a young girl knowing it's her first time and deflower her/make her his little girl toy?

Voting Results
41% Normal
Based on 58 votes (24 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 17 )
  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago

    Your friend is a moron and her professor is a nasty old man.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • mountain-man82
    9 years ago

    Thats not right at all. I mean I dated a woman that was 10 years younger than me, but even that was pushing it for me. Thats far too young for him, and being that he was her professor, thats even worse.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • ilovetoiletrolls
    9 years ago

    Ya, definitely not normal. Age gap should be still young enough so they can't be your Father. I'd say more than 12 years is even pushing it. He sounds like a hebephile or a potential pedophile who just likes the fact she's 18 but looks like a child. Either way is creepy and even if she were older, this would still be horribly wrong in my book.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    4
    4
  • polina.janisevska
    9 years ago

    I totally agree with you, it's totally gross what she's doing! The age gap is horrific and the guy is a total perv. I guess you feel that way because you feel protective over them and care about her.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • handsignals
    9 years ago

    It's one of those double standards:
    old guy young girl = Gross

    Hot older woman young guy = Nice :)

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • peaceandlovebro
    9 years ago

    I tried to respond to this but my entire comment of three paragraphs was deleted before I even submitted it. That makes me so angry.

    In that comment, I basically said it's not right and sounds like he has ulterior motives as a 40 year age gap is ridiculous and sounds like he is one sad individual who is desperate or has a fetish for women young enough to be his grandkid.

    I would talk to your friend and let her know that this is a dangerous game and that he will only have his grandfatherly love to offer her in the future.

    My wife's sister's husband is 15 years older and my wife and I as well as my entire family/friends all agree that the age gap is noticeable in terms of how they do things/their brains. So I can only imagine what a 40 year age gap looks like.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    That's completely disgusting! I hope that dirty old goat gets prostate cancer and dies!
    *vomits profusely*

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • Tommythecat.
      9 years ago

      Isabell! That's very ungodly of you to say such things!

      *hits isabell with a ruler

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • RoseIsabella
        9 years ago

        Ooo! >:-O

        Well, it's still disgusting.
        *vomits on the Persian rug*

        Would you like some catnip?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • Tommythecat.
          9 years ago

          It is disgusting........

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • RoseIsabella
            9 years ago

            Yep, it's grosser than my latest hairball.
            *hacks up a masterpiece*

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • captblood44
    9 years ago

    LOL okay. sooo, in our society its absolutely ok for a man to wed a man. for a woman to wed a woman, but god forbid, an older man date a younger woman? LOL ooooohhh we have such high morals ROTFLMAO she's 18yo and outta high school. that makes her an adult making adult decisions. is someone forcing you to pay for the date?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Couman
    9 years ago

    The only way I can imagine this working out well is if a short fling with a (way) more experienced lover is something she specifically wants, because that's the best result she can reasonably expect out of it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • hauntedbysandwiches
    9 years ago

    I usually think anything more than 12 years isn't normal , so 43? Are you kidding me?

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • peaceandlovebro
    9 years ago

    Didn't Morgan Freeman do this with his step granddaughter when she was in her twenties or early 30s and he was 70? I know he denied it but there was evidence everywhere and I remember he was getting a lot of flak. He's lucky that disappeared.

    I definitely find this unhealthy and unless the two of them secretly have a fetish or one has a mental disability and the other doesn't mind it, it won't work. My wife's sister's husband is 14 years older than her and my wife and I as well as our entire family/friends see the age gap clear as day even when they say there is none. I think it's very strange and sad that a 61 year old would prey on someone 40 years younger than himself. I'd say he is either immature or so lonely, he just wants to try and get whatever he can.

    With that said, I'd strongly recommend you talk to your friend. Age gaps this large tend to have ulterior motives attached to them and there's no way this relationship is deemed "normal". I would especially be leery of him inviting her over so quickly.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0