Is it normal i lost meaning in life because of her?

45% Normal
20 Comments

In my teenage years I fell head over heals for someone. She actually was my motivator with anything I would do especially my job. I had hope that she would feel the same and I saw her in my life. She was my reason to live and she was always on my mind. I eventually got the guts to tell her how I felt and she didn't feel the same. I feel like all those years were an illusion and now I have nothing to grasp onto to motivate me. I go about as normal like I used to but every day feels empty. I don't have her as a Friend in my life either. I am only 23 but I truly feel she was the one.
I felt something with her that I had never felt before with anyone even to this day.
is it normal I feel so empty each day and I struggle to find a purpose to go on.
I'm not depressed or anything more so anxious every day which I strongly dislike :/

Voting Results
45% Normal
Based on 11 votes (5 yes)
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Comments ( 20 )
  • e51pegasi
    6 years ago

    Whatever you do try not to spend some of the best years of your life pining over someone who doesn't feel the same as you. In 40 years time you will look back and realise it was just precious time wasted if you don't move on.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I have moved on and I don't even hardly think about her anymore. I just feel like life is empty

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      • Grunewald
        6 years ago

        Was it empty before meeting her? Maybe establish what has changed since meeting her to make it emptier than it was before...? As I am finding, we cannot go backwards, only forwards... a good goal fpr you I think woukd be trying to develop a new way of living without her. It will be different from the last one, but you can live without her: you already have done.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          I was young as before meeting her so I didn't know anything else besides being a kid. Things changed as I became a teenager

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          • Grunewald
            6 years ago

            You were a kid, but there were things in your life that kept you satisfied enough with life, right? You had lots of vocational'growing room' as a kid, to devote yourself to any number of possible things... And you devoted it to a dead-end love object. Now you have the 'room' back again. You can re-train yourself to love a different object. It will be hard... maybe there will always be scars... but you can train yourself to love different things if you remember that your emotions are not 'you', like your muscles aren't 'you', and your eyes aren't 'you'. You can care for your emotions and you can train them, just like any other part of your body... it will take discipline and time. I'm on the same journey to some extent myself, and if the advicce doesn't help directly, it at least gives me hope that things *can* change... if I brace the pain enough to make it happen. All my best, friend.

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  • JonathanOo
    6 years ago

    Same here:( Just keep pushing on and hope that someday a miracle will happen and you'll have a 2nd chance. If you do, don't let it go too waste. Do your best now and it may pay off in the future

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      Thankyou

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    • Kevinevan
      6 years ago

      Thats terrible advice. They didnt have a first chance because the person never reciprocated their feelings.

      Continuing to pine for someone is a waste of time. Learn from yyour mistake and only put effort into people who have a good chance of returning your feelings. Those who never will are not worth the effort.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        6 years ago

        yeah I understand that, but like I said it was definitely different with her. I don't just pine for anyone. She was the "one", at first I didn't even understand why I couldn't stop thinking about her. I was afraid I was turning lesbian. I realized I was in denial for many years so I eventually summoned up the courage to tell her

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        • Kevinevan
          6 years ago

          Is she even gay? I think you left out this minor detail in your question. Not that it matters either way, since she doesn't share your feelings, but don't you think this may be important information??

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            6 years ago

            She said something along the lines of, it doesn't matter if we are the same sex and that, that wouldn't have stopped her, she would have pursued it otherwise.
            I said to her, why did you say that we had a connection that day on the beach all those years ago and it was intense, kinda like romance.
            She said she does love me and we do have a connection but it was a spiritual connection and that it wasn't sexual. She said she couldn't give me what I want which is a relationship.
            She also said "Well I don't know how strong your feelings are, and what do u want to do about it"? I thought that's an odd question because obviously nothing can be done since she doesn't feel the same ...

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            • Kevinevan
              6 years ago

              I think it was important to mention because her sexuality may be a factor here right?

              Maybe she can't admit to herself she is gay. Maybe she isn't gay but cares deeply for you. Maybe she is gay but can't act on it for her own reasons.

              I wouldn't get my hopes up, and honestly you should never tie your happiness to another person, but where she is at, in regards to her own sexuality might factor in to this whole equation.

              Btw yes its normal to feel an emptiness in life when you come to terms with an unrequited love. You are basically morning the loss of a relatinship, be it real, or just imagined it's still a loss. The feeling will pass.

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  • Murun
    6 years ago

    "all those years"
    "23"
    Get a grip man. You're only starting.

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  • Ask-Trina
    6 years ago

    Forget her.. You're still young..go have some fun luv😘

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    Have you told her recently? I think you should try to book up with someone else.

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  • [Old Memory]
    6 years ago

    You just need to move on. If you dwell on this it will only be your own fault.

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  • fakeaccount4
    6 years ago

    It was an illusion, a major requirement for love is that it is reciprocated right? what are you expecting out of her that's making you so sad not to get it? I mean if someone cannot even return your love then how are they appealing in any way to you?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      it was what it was

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  • bubsy
    6 years ago

    Google "No More Mr. Nice Guy pdf" and read it. Attraction is non-negotiable, and once you understand it this anxiety goes away.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      not a guy

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