Is it normal i look down on submissive behavior.

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25 Comments

I find submissiveness to be the single worst trait a person can have. Someone who cannot stand for themselves stands for nothing. Those who stand for nothing, encourage negative behavior in others, making them the root of any problems associated with negative behavior.

Some may argue that you do not have to care for yourself to care for others, but that does not even make sense at all, because you cannot do anything worthwhile to help others if you are not on top of your own well being.

If someone is just going to obey what they are told, they have nothing positive to contribute. In all cases of abuse it takes two types. The person committing the abuse, and those who allow it to happen. I do not think the victim is always to blame, so dont start saying I am victim blaming, because I understand some things are random, but when someone puts themselves into a situation by not standing up for what they should care about they do become part of the problem. What you tolerate you encourage and what you encourage becomes your fault.

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Based on 20 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • dom180
    8 years ago | pl

    I think you have misunderstood what submission is. Submission isn't about letting just anyone tell you what to do. Submission is when you freely give some control and responsibility to someone else because you trust them. Submissives have a right to say no to things they aren't comfortable with. When submission isn't freely given, or if consent is violated, that is when we have abuse.

    You have also profoundly misunderstood what victim-blaming is. You ARE victim-blaming. Saying that you don't always blame victims is irrelevant. People have a right to be vulnerable and safe. That includes put themselves in submissive positions. People who take advantage of their vulnerability and hurt them are 100% to blame.

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    • dirtybirdy
      8 years ago | pl

      This amused me to see DOM on the Sub post. Bahahaha.

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      • Aries
        8 years ago

        right? LOL

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      Im not focusing this topic on silly sex games. Im more talking about people who let others get out of control and fail to stand up to them.

      In a perfect world everyone could be safe, but it is obvious humans have free will to do what they want, therefore the only rational conclusion is that no one is safe if they let their guard down. Some crimes are random and not much could be done to prevent it, but when someone lets something happen that was obvious, it is their fault. I do not make exception for myself either. There have been times I have been taken advantage of and looking back I should not have let my guard down, but we all live and learn.

      In cases when people do not stand up for others it is their fault because it is everyones responsibility to show courage when necessary. To know something is wrong and to do nothing is no different than to commit the act itself. To stand back when something is wrong I find the worst thing someone can do, because no loyalty is ever expected from those who are out to hurt others, but loyalty was expected from the coward and they let down who they were meant to protect.

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      • dom180
        8 years ago

        I think the pertinent point is that abusers are not passive forces of nature. Abusers are people who make active choices. That is to say that vulnerable people do not force abusers to do what they do. They don't INVITE abusers to do what they do. They might allow abusers the opportunity, but abusers TAKE the opportunity.

        What I object to most is your assertion that "when someone lets something happen that was obvious, it is their fault". My central point of defence is that "expectations" and "obviousness" are just not relevant. People have a right to not be violated. Living your life naively doesn't make it your fault when people take advantage of that.

        Even if you don't accept any of my points, I would advise you to at least own the fact that you are victim-blaming. If you own it, you can begin to get educated about it (if you want to) by people who are better at explaining than me.

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        • [Old Memory]
          8 years ago

          I can see I am victim blaming under certain situations, such as if I left my garage open and it got robbed I would understand it was my own fault.

          The fact is there are people with bad intents and they are everywhere. To let your guard down is stupid and someone may as well burn their own house down if they cannot take action to be responsible for their own well being.

          By not accepting that many people are out to take advantage of others is to set up for defeat.

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      • Arm0se
        8 years ago

        It's not that simple. Sometimes people you care about just grab a hold of you. Before you know it your doing everything they say. You don't know why, and you don't know how to get out. You just have to hope that they'll see the error of their ways, or someone will come and help you. Speaking from experience.

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        • [Old Memory]
          8 years ago

          To hope someone will change is one of the dumbest things someone can do. So is doing everything someone says. I do not understand why some people are so needy for others that they will allow someone to use them. It is everyone's responsibility to watch out for themselves.

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    • iwannajerk4you
      7 years ago

      Are you a female dominatrix dom180
      If so I'd love to hear from you @yahoo.com

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    • Aries
      8 years ago

      I couldn't have said it better myself , thank you .

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  • TrustMeImLying
    8 years ago

    ah, there's so much I can say about this topic. Instead I'll just say that bedroom persona aside, I'm incredibly fond of women with bold personalities.

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  • Freedom_
    8 years ago

    I agree. I especially hate it when such people complain about how they're being used over and over again, but do nothing to rise above the situation. When they start using their situation to gain pity from others is when it starts to get to me.

    I think a lot of people end up in a submissive situation at some point in their lives, and that is just part of life. I couldn't hate someone for getting themselves into that sitiation, or even staying there a while because they don't know how to get out. But if they have options and they're just ignoring them because it's easier to just accept things as they are, then I start to get frustrated with the person.

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  • Springfurmich
    8 years ago

    hahahah! direct insult to my post i see. i'm the op from the submissive poll post :D.

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      Its actually something Ive been thinking about the last few days more related to situations in my personal life, but your post did remind me of the topic.

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      • Springfurmich
        8 years ago

        don't hate on the weak, it'll only make them weaker. they already suffer enough, granted it's their own fault but there's already enough hatred in the world, no? save your hatred for rapists and murderers, people who actually deserve it. anyway, help the weaker grow stronger. or just leave them alone and they'll kill themselves or get killed anyway.

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        • [Old Memory]
          8 years ago

          Im not going to get too into personal reasons for my thinking, but I dont perceive much difference between abuse and letting abuse happen, except something was expected from someone who let things happen. I will give a summary of 1 story to give a better idea of my reasoning.

          A single mother gets with an abusive man who hurts her and the children. It was her job to defend her children, but she fails to defend them and allows it to happen.
          Some might use fear as an excuse, but personally I do not think fear is an excuse for anything. Fear is a normal reaction, but sometimes life puts us in situations where we must conquer our fears and do whatever must be done, even if that means sacrificing your own well being to protect what should be more important.
          In that situation the mother is in a way of lower moral than the abuser, because nothing was ever expected from the abuser, but protection should be expected from the mother.

          People like to think they have choices in life, but life isn't about choices and it is each of our responsibility to be prepared for the situations that we come across and weakness is not always an option.

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          • Springfurmich
            8 years ago

            i see you are quite passionate about this topic. as some one lacking empathy and emotions on this matter, i honestly couldn't careless about the children, the mother or the abuser.

            nevertheless, i do believe that some people are simply selfish because of survival instincts, which is good for you as a person but not good for you as a mother. i for one do have a little respect for the WOMAN who placed her life over her children's. she will regret it later but i would rather live with regret than not live at all. (admittingly, my response could be the result of my deep hatred for children, which i can't explain btw)

            some mothers don't have maternal instincts like this one obviously and i can accept that as i am the same. i know it's not the children's fault but again, yet if i was the mother, i'd favor myself over my children.

            i maybe alone in this though, many people agree with your point of view. after all society does prefer bravery over selfishness. your opinion is not unpopular. you are completely normal. i'm a realist and i don't care. i'm more important than my responsibilities. :)

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            • [Old Memory]
              8 years ago

              I would recommend you do not have kids. I think most people should not, but it's part of life.
              Personally I do not plan to have kids, but I think I would make a great father if I ever accidently did. If I had kids I would have no problem killing anyone who hurt them. I have cats and I take great care of my cats and let them do what they want. I have hit people just for taking the cats seat on the couch.

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          • [Old Memory]
            8 years ago

            I understand what you're saying. But it's a bit harsh, at the same time life is and can be extremely cruel.

            I think as humans we can see and understand that and perhaps try to transcend some if it. Maybe.

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  • Aries
    8 years ago

    A lot of submissive people are Alpha Male's or Females . I don't think what you are describing is submission or synonymous with it but I definitely don't agree with abuse . I don't know where "silly sex games" comes from but it is not always restricted to sexual play , there is also a relationship and lifestyle that people partake in and it has zero to do with abuse . This post needs to be a bit clearer for me to understand exactly what sort of abuse you are referring to . If you are talking about domestic abuse or something similar this isn't submission , it's simply an abuser / aggressor taking advantage of a vulnerable or otherwise weaker person . In any case , abuse is wrong but I emphasize ABUSE and not what people may misinterpret to be abuse .

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      I am referring to people who let themselves be controlled and tolerate negative behavior by not doing anything to stop it, which will only encourage the person with negative behavior to get worse.

      Sometimes it is necessary to stop someone before they get out of hand and it then becomes the fault of everyone involved.

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      • Aries
        8 years ago

        I understand now , thank you for clarifying for me . I thought you were trying to describe something else but I completely agree that someone should take proactive measures . I think people see signs of abuse and control but choose to ignore it out of weak character or fear maybe ? I know every case can have it's own story but they should definitely stand up for themselves . The unfortunate reality is a lot of people don't , this is where things turn for the worst and sever abuse occurs and sometimes even death .

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  • daydreamer394
    8 years ago

    You are definitely victim blaming. You just called it the "worst trait". Not fucking beginning the abuse in the first place, then? There'd be nothing to allow happen if people weren't assholes in the first place. Are you one of them, by any chance?

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago

      I know I am an asshole, but I also have a nice side and don't act abusive either.
      However I don't have much empathy for peoples sensitivities so I understand it would be an easy thing to take advantage if I wanted to. I simply have no interest in using other people because I do not need anything from them and lack the social needs that most people seem to obsess over for reasons I do not understand.
      I could see I am victim blaming in certain circumstances where they allowed someone to take advantage of people. However I don't think it is always the victims fault, for example if someone jumps out of the bushes and robs or rapes someone, although I would advice carrying a weapon because you never know when you must fight to the death.
      The fact is there are people who do not have positive intentions for other people and it is everyone's responsibility to be aware of this because we do not choose what other people do.

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