Is it normal i haven't met her but can't get her off my mind?

80% Normal
11 Comments

So, I started talking to a girl I met online about two weeks ago, and I can't very well get her off my mind. I mean, im not sitting here thinking of her every waking minute of the day, but I have been thinking about her quite a lot. We started talking and as things went on, I found that she was refreshingly down-to-earth and very willing to open up about sensitive things. I don't often find people who relate to me well, I'm a socially awkward romantic, very quite, usually pretty isolated socially. I've been able to talk to her about my numerous flaws and my recent dealings with some very severe depression and, instead of her pulling away, she opened up about her flaws and some of the things she has been going through. I think she has an incredible personality, and she is so honest and understanding, very smart and mature. We have made plans to meet up and hang out a couple of times, but they keep falling through. I'm not sure if she is interested in me the same way that I am in her, and I'm worried that I'm just infatuated with her. But even if I'm not, I'm worried about falling for her too fast or falling for her at all, because the last relationship I had was with a girl her age (I'm 19, she is 16, turning 17 in October, thought she was 17 when we started talking) and it really fucked me up emotionally for a long time when it ended. is it normal for me to be thinking about her often? is it normal for me to be weary of getting involved with her on a more personal level, even if I think there is some real potential for a healthy relationship? P.S. When I say involved and relationship, im not referring to something explicitly sexual. I always have been very relationship oriented and am by no means just looking for sex. I am talking about companionship and deep emotional connection and understanding.

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80% Normal
Based on 30 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • DubstepismyMJ
    9 years ago

    Normal normal normal.

    Your afraid to get hurt again, thats obvious. Alot of people are. When you take a chance on any happiness, there will always be a risk of saddness. One cannot exist without the other. Accept it. Thats life.

    You can forever avoid pursuing happiness so there can never be a risk of pain. But you won't be "living life" at all then would you? So what would be the point?

    So then. Take a fucking chance. Goodluck, sweep that girl off her feet. Doesn't work out? Its NOT the end of the world. Learn and adapt.

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  • TheLogicalJew
    9 years ago

    I don't think I'm going to tell her how I feel... I think I am just wanting to be loved so badly that I've convinced myself there is some kind of real connection. She doesn't see me the way I see her, and trying to be anything more than her friend will mean I can't even be her friend, probably. I'm just some sweet guy she lent kind words to because I was feeling terribly depressed. I think she probably just sees me as anxious, desperate, and depressed.

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    • derpyderp
      9 years ago

      No, fuck that!
      Stop being so down on yourself & go talk to this girl...

      As i suggested don't blurt your feelings out straight away unless you think you're losing her & that's the only thing that might keep her around.

      Just try to get together as friends & see where things lead naturally.

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      • TheLogicalJew
        9 years ago

        Yeah, I was drawing conclusions a bit prematurely earlier... Things are actually going really well right now with this girl, and if all goes well we are going to meet up this Sunday and hang out at a music festival... I'm pretty excited. I'll follow that suggestion of yours. Wish me luck, I may very well need it.

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        • derpyderp
          9 years ago

          Hey that's great!
          Hope it all works out...

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  • Drawingmud
    9 years ago

    Try interaction w real people?

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    • TheLogicalJew
      9 years ago

      I don't make good first impressions in person, most of the time. I'm a really quite guy, which is just about the worst possible quality for a person to possess when trying to meet new people. Silence is ambiguous, and most people interpret it as some kind of sign of disinterest if I am just meeting them, or they think its just too weird that I'm so quite most of the time.

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      • Drawingmud
        9 years ago

        I didn't help.

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  • derpyderp
    9 years ago

    Normal to think about someone you have a connection with? Yeah.

    Mate, if you think you feel something do your absolute best to meet her in person.

    I recently started talking to someone online I really click with, a somewhat similar story to yours actually, & I'd meet her in a heartbeat if I had half a chance! Unfortuantely we're about 15000 miles apart...

    Personally I wouldn't confess your feelings until after you've met in person if you can help it.
    It could add a lot of pressure for both of you & you may even find the chemistry you have online isn't there in person which might then make things awkward.
    Hopefully that isn't the case though...

    In saying that if you get to the point where plans to meet keep falling through & you think you're losing her, THEN tell her how you feel.
    Chances are she's just as scared as you if she is also interested.

    Also don't let fear of getting hurt hold you back.
    It might happen, & it really fucking sucks when it does, but that's part of life. You have to take the good with the bad...

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  • ilovetoiletrolls
    9 years ago

    "We have made plans to meet up and hang out a couple of times, but they keep falling through. I'm not sure if she is interested in me the same way that I am in her"

    Sometimes she's thinking the same thing. Are you sure you made her aware of your interest in her? If not, maybe she's unsure how you'll feel about her and maybe she's a bit like you and is slightly nervous to meet. You should tell her more of how you feel and give it maybe another week and then tell her you really like her and would love to meet up so you can get to know her in person.

    Good luck!

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  • KQueenK
    9 years ago

    This is so cute. You should give it a shot. It seems like you talk to her alot and no girl talks to a guy about those things and just expects to be "friends"

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