Is it normal i have nothing in common with girls & find it difficult to relate?

67% Normal
12 Comments

First and foremost, I'm a 27-year old designer, writer, metalhead, loner from Pittsburgh, PA, USA. I like dark things (blackened death metal, horror/exploitation movies, obscenity, voyeurism, transgressive culture, etc.) as I'm extreme and campy like that. In my daily intercourse I tend to cuss the paint off the walls. I'm creative and mature and speak my mind but sometimes can really lack a sense of humor I'm so shy, serious and in my head all the time. Given my sedentary way of life, I think my sex appeal couldn't be lower.

I think it's because of all this that I've never related meaningfully to girls/women. I get along with most men no problem, but when it comes to the opposite sex, I feel entirely judged, misunderstood, rejected, and shunned. Granted, at times I've provoked rejection by purposely rebelling but most of the time I am just myself and it attracts no women, usually repels them. This all bothers me immensely, as I'm not only frustrated sexually but also psychologically.

Is it normal then that given my dark personality, tastes, and character that I find it difficult to relate to the majority?

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 46 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Holy crap, you're from my neck of the woods! XD I doubt I've ever seen you unless you get to industrial shows in the city as well though, haha that's great though.

    Honestly, I know there are a lot of people around here who run screaming from those kinds of things, but over time I've managed to find a pretty eclectic group of friends who share my interests. Metal isn't my main genre of music that I listen to but I do enjoy it (I listen to a little bit of everything) and everything else you talked about sounds nifty keen to me. XD

    It's probably shyness more than anything, it seems to make a huge difference in how people perceive you. Sometimes I'll be feeling great, bouncing around so happy and people take notice. Days that I'm feeling quieter and more shy, I can see a difference in the way I'm perceived by new people. I try not to be so judgemental but a lot of people seem to be.

    I'd say get out to metal shows, even bars (smiling moose gets some good bands) and just practice talking to people. Confidence is really one of those make it til you fake it kinda things. Idk if you're into EDM but there's a club night starting up sometime soon with a goth sorta theme to it, hahaha I know I'll be checking it out.

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    • demigod999
      11 years ago

      I'm a regular at Mr Smalls and Altar Bar for metal. Haven't been to too many industrial shows lately, though I know I just missed Genitorturers and Thrill Kill Kult. Hoping to catch KMFDM in March.

      Smiling Moose is a great bar (particularly for the horror posters), but haven't seen any bands there.

      I've seriously been to 40+ concerts in about 10 years and I think it's twice as hard to meet any females as they're usually there with someone to begin with.

      I dunno. I probably come off as unfriendly because I find a lot of people tiring or lack the playfulness people expect, but to see that the only people I talk with are solely male depresses me.

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        Gotta love IIN notifications, I just got this today. XD And that is kinda shitty.. :x I generally chalk that shit up to this area, lotta people are pretty damn judgemental and just kind of uppity. O.o

        I've found I fit a lot better on the rave scene than anywhere else, people are just so much friendlier and it attracts a wider variety of people. I've ended up with a pretty eclectic groups of friends from raves and festivals and shit.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    We're all human and there's 6 billion of us.

    It's very doubtful that you're so unique that there's no female out there that shares a similar mindset as you.

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    There are a lot of women who have those interests, actually. I'm more into industrial, but still, you might be surprised how many women like horror movies, obscenity, and metal.

    I'm not flirting with you, to clarify. I'm married.

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  • nursebetty
    11 years ago

    Maybe try hang out in places with people who also like the same things you like, there's bound to be girls there who want someone like you. Maybe you're choosing the wrong type

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  • WellFuckYouThen
    9 years ago

    you both have a brain, eyes, tits, wut?

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    i've been rejected so many damn times i said fuck it and im always my self.

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  • beautywithapast
    11 years ago

    I'm bored, talk to me.... maybe I can show you some tips on picking up girls.

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  • Voluerint
    11 years ago

    You sound like a male version of me. I've always gotten along with men better than women. But I dont think it's that unusual, you just need to surround yourself with people like yourself, it took a long time before I found people quite alike to myself, still on it, honestly.

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  • demigod999
    11 years ago

    I actually think what I meant by this thread here is I can effectively relate to any guy talk about anything, as all men enjoy something technical in nature (football, cars, computers, home improvement, etc.), but when it comes to women, their eyes start drifting no matter what topic we're on. Even if I ask women what they are enthusiastic about, there's no common ground because most don't want to talk about culture but instead to just made laugh and entertained.

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    Maybe you are not trying hard enough and using the above reasons as an excuse or maybe girls find you too creepy. Anyway you'll find someone who finds you great. Everybody eventually finds somebody.

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