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I have heard and read hundreds of stories and quotes about true love, seen thousands of pictures about it, heard music about it. Constantly. But I have never felt it.
"Love is like _____" or "When you're in love, you feel ______" That doesn't help me. I literally don't have a clue how true love actually feels. Is this normal?
"I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [true love], and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it"
Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart
It changed my life, to be honest, but in an amazing way.
It's extremely hard to describe the difference between initial infatuation, or a really great relationship that seemed like love, and the real deal, so to speak, but it feels incredibly different (I can't stress that enough).
How can I put it into words? It truly is a most wondrous thing you can open your loving someone. There's a lot of venerability involved. You're literally baring your soul to this other person and there's a lot at stake. Love feels like a life and death situation.
This October, I finally allowed myself to realise that I deeply loved a very dear and special friend of mine. I've never been this happy in my life and I haven't even directly confessed my feelings to my friend. Opening myself to love, has been making me a better person. I'm less emotionally constipated, as a result. Love has been my laxative. If I allow my mind to be consumed with thoughts about my friend, my body feels like it on fire. I always love this person, even if I'm rejected. I literally can't comprehend being with anyone else. Things that I've been iffy about or flat out against, like marriage, having sex, and kids, doesn't matter. I actually want these things in regards to my friend. Etc.
Most people are more in love with the idea of being in love than they could be with any other person.
Which is why they "fall for" the wrong people all the time -- they're overeager to be in love.
"In love" is mostly just nonsense -- that's why you don't know it. It mostly doesn't exist, other than the romanticization of relationships (ie. being "in love") there's no such thing.
Most people in human history met their life partners through arranged marriages, and did just fine... "Loved" each other just fine... So that should tell you something about the nature of being "in love".
Arranged marriage can cause a lot of problems...as why its mostly frowned upon now...also had more room for abuse.
There is such a thing as being in love... and to just discount all the people that are in love is wrong ...just because you havent experienced it or had a bad relationship with someone you thought you loved.
you can love domeone and be in a relationship with someone who doesnt love you the same way... this causes problems...but your love wasnt false.
I will agree some do rush into relationships ...chasing after love. And thats not good ether.
but I assure you I am truly in love with my bf and he is in love with me. As we will spend our lives together until we are old and die.
I dont get it either. I know what love is, which I define as caring about somebody to where I would sacrifice my own needs to help them if they really needed it and it was reasonable. with a girlfriend there is the added component of lust. I do not get how there are different types of love. Most emotions are just neurotic nonsense people come up with.
Nobody knows what love feels like, you're going to have to just guess like the rest of us.
I'm sorry, I'd have to disagree. I believe I know what love feels like, at least to me.
I have been in love, am in love, and it is a glorious, scary, wondrous, maddening, selfless feeling. Like every other feeling, there are degrees, some days are great, others not so much, but all in all it is a grand thing.
You can't rush it and you can't force it. To have a true love isn't at all like a crush, nor is it similar to what one feels for family or children, again, to me.
So wait your turn and allow it when it comes and perhaps you can post another thread about that.
I think this was well said.♡
I too have the glorious, scary, wondrous, maddening, selfless feeling of love.
Yeah I felt that way when I fell in love. I think I'm still in love with that person but its difficult to tell because I am numb most of the time. I have bad anxiety because the person I love is suicidally depressed and generally screwed up mentally. I guess my situation isn't normal though so OP shouldn't really listen to me.