Is it normal i have low self esteem and it makes me a huge bragger

It's pretty normal for bullied people to later brag about accomplishments. Also, narcissists often have a layer of low self-esteem coupled with their feelings of superiority in a contradictory manner.

Yeah I got bullied as a kid too and it leaves a lot of scarring, anger, hurt. Once you've reached a certain level it's easy to start bullying those who were once like you as a way to sort of get an outlet for your anger and hurt...Often bullies carry a lot of hurt you know, it's a bad cycle.... It's normal to brag and shit too. I briefly dated a guy once who like me was a former victim of bullying and he'd made something of his life - he made quite a lot of cash now and had a lot of nice things and he bragged about it too much for my liking and tried to buy me things to impress me with what he could afford... I wasnt impressed. It reeked low self esteem, like work on your personality instead of putting your worth into stuff and think it's gonna make people genuienly love you... Yeah, for your money maybe. 🤷‍♀️
I have a bit of an inferior complex too though. Working on it

Me too. It can't be rare. I know that people with narcissistic personality disorder have this to an extreme extent.

They hate the reality of what they think they are so much that they create a grandiose myth of an all-powerful, invincible version of themselves that they would be able to accept and that other people might admire. They take it so far that they come to believe that that is their 'true' self.

They then become furious/terrified when anyone or anything reveals that they aren't all-powerful, invincible or worthy of admiration.

I was a local child celebrity and 'prodigy' with negative self esteem issues, and I developed this mindset about myself as a performer and a writer. It eventually 'broke' with regards to the performance arts, but as for the writing, to this day I cannot bear to try and write a novel because I am frightened of not being the next J.K. Rowling as people affectionately used to say I could be.

Isn't this a perfectly ridiculous mindset? I would love to be able to accept the idea of myself as a mediocre writer. It would free me so, so much to be content with the idea of myself as 'one writer among millions' rather than 'either the best writer in the world, or not a writer at all'.

I don't get this so much with skills I have developed later in life. I guess I have the excuse of 'Oh well, it's only a recent hobby.'. So I have lots of little hobbies that I've started then abandoned. It's such a shame. If I'd stuck with something, I could have at least made something out of it and I wouldn't now be feeling like so many of my hobbies have been meaningless.

In short, I feel a bit like Hercule/Mr Satan from Dragonball Z. He's the ostensible word champion fighter who is terrified of being found out not to be the best, so he either refuses to fight or makes excuses for himself!

Yes. People react to the same stimuli in different ways. Some people with low self-esteem will try to make themselves feel better and seek reassurance by bragging, just like how others might seek validation by putting themselves down in the hopes that other people will be like "aww don't say that you're amazing!!"

id love to be better at plc programmin but there just aint enough opportunity or time to learn a dozen manufacturers code languages or buy all their software packages

i usually just copy the files and send em off to a coder with an description of the modifications i want

plus some exuipment manufacturers git pissy when they find youve been fuckin with their plc code or lock it out aheada time

From memory I remembered something about inferiority/superiority complex being present as one. I was pretty sure it was Freud (I clearly remember underlining something in a book of his) but all I found online was Adler... https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/superiority-complex#vs-inferiority-complex

Atleast you are self aware enough to realize it and you can work through it.