Is it normal i hate that my husband takes pills to deal with his stress?

Please try to empathize with him. Please do not assume he is a horrible person - he is just troubled. I'd appreciate only thoughtful comments here, thank you. If you have something negative to say, that's fine, as long as you put some thought into it. I'm hard to offend, but if you do offend me, I will just delete you.

My husband is a very emotional person. He struggles to deal with many problems, such as social anxiety, insecurity, the stupidity of his family and people in general and health problems. From what I have seen, his family never gave him much support. They've given his the basics - food and shelter - but never that extra push toward success. They are very judgmental of him and they seem to praise, above anything else, social skills, the thing he is worst at. I have watched them treat him unfairly and assume the worst about him, simply because he does not talk to them.

The only way he knows to cope is to take xanax when he just can't take anymore. Yesterday, we found out his favorite and only public place he hangs out is closing down; when we got home we found out the family dog died, so he got fucked up. Usually it's only family stress that pushes him to this point.

He has had seizures after taking a bunch of pills and then going without them for a few days. We don't know if he's epileptic or if they are caused by the pills, but even that won't stop him when he's had too much.

When he takes pills, I just can't stand to see him so zoned out. He is constantly asking me for details and needs my constant attention. He won't sleep at night and convinces me to stay up with him until I just can't take it anymore and go to bed. I try to get him to go to bed so he will not pass out on the porch or in the bathroom and wake up complaining about his neck (which is very bothersome to him), but he has no common sense when he is high. The day after, he is angry and wreckless. He screams to relieve himself or punches things when something aggravates him.He steals from his family while thinking about everything wrong they've ever done to him. He is not like that when sober. Needless to say, he cannot be a father when he's like this. He gets so run down, but instead of getting some sleep, he will just get more pills. Depending on how bothered he is, he will just get more and more until the guy runs out. He turns himself into a zombie and tries to have fun, but he can barely hold his eyes open. He is more composed around his friends, but I know they must see that something isn't right with him when he's like this. In his mind, his friends are enjoying his relaxed state of being and having fun with him. But from what I see they are concerned but don't know how or don't want to address it.

This is not an everyday thing, but it happens every couple of months for a week or two, depending on what's bothering him. When it does happen, it hurts me so bad because I don't know how to deal with it. I try to just keep him safe and make him feel better, but he doesn't realize how much this is dragging me down. Hell, he doesn't even remember. I tell him about the things he has done that hurt me and hurt himself when his mind is clear, but it doesn't stop him the next time.

And I have my own problems. I could probably do more to try to stop him, but he will do what he wants in the end anyway. I take a couple pills when my anxiety is on the rise, very occasionally, and I always regret it and I know if I would just quit altogether there is a chance he would too. I just feel like since I can control myself better that it's ok for me. I know that's wrong and I should give him a better example.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.