Is it normal i hate that my girlfriend tells her best friends everything

73% Normal
8 Comments

She tells her two best friends EVERYTHING apparently. It really bugs me and I've asked her not to say somethings but she says she can't help it! I don't mind her saying most stuff but I'd rather keep my sex life personal. There's stuff we've talked about doing together that I'd rather not do just because she'd tell her friends!

I know she trusts her friends a lot, but I don't trust them myself, thinking they'll just tell their friends whatever she's told them. For example, she told her friends that she rims me sometimes. Now that's something I don't exactly want shouting out to the world, nor something I'd think she'd tell people but she did.

I feel like she's abusing my trust a bit.

Is it normal to get pissed off with her telling them?

Voting Results
73% Normal
Based on 94 votes (69 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • dom180
    10 years ago

    I agree. Trust is important, and not being able to trust someone to keep private things private definitely stops me being able to build up a relationship with them. It's a problem a lot of people I know have in their relationships, and a big problem in mine too. It might actually be one of the most common problems I've ever seen in a relationship.

    On the other hand, lots of people (in my experience mostly girls, but I could be generalising) see their close friends as almost extensions of themselves and asking them not to talk to their close friends about something is hugely restrictive to them. I even talked to someone once who considered it "abusive" not to be able to talk to their friends about private things relating to their partner, and got quite angry with me when I disagreed :P

    I go back to my first point, though. It's a childish attitude not to be able to keep private things private, and I wouldn't want to get involved in a relationship with someone I couldn't have an appropriate level of privacy with.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Great response. Thanks :)

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    • Saycheese
      10 years ago

      I most certainly agree with you.

      I have seen that tendency happen mostly in women.

      Chatterboxes is a sign of an insecurity more common in women. There are still men chatterboxes also. lol I find it kind of cute truthfully but it most certainly gets annoying.

      To the OP, I'm not sure if you have tried already but tell her how you actually feel. Express your feelings to her maybe she'll take it at heart then. If not then just let her know that you can't take it anymore because love is about trust and being able to compromise the relationship. Her not keeping things private most certainly isn't a compromise and is a pain to deal with.

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        10 years ago

        She is a very insecure person so maybe she wants to ensure its normal with somethings. I've told her how I don't like it at all and said for her not to tell them certain things.

        The main thing at the moment, is that we wanna try a strap on... Now THAT is something I'd never live down if that got out. She said she wouldn't be able to keep it a secret so I said I'm not doing it. The thing is now, I don't want her to tell them we were even considering it and she said she hasn't seen them yet but she probably will!

        I'm gonna have a more serious word with her about it.

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        • Saycheese
          10 years ago

          Ok, I hope all goes well.

          She most certainly needs to see in order for her to be herself she doesn't have to get approval from her friends. How I'm taking it in your situation she needs to find her own values and realize she can keep things to herself. This is a great way for her own self approval; is that you don't have to share your life to others all the time. Except yourself! Maybe this could be a helpful hint to give her also.

          Here is also a good website:
          http://www.wikihow.com/Be-Yourself

          Like I've said I wouldn't want to share too many personal details even if they ask I would like to keep my partners and my sex life personal. :)

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  • mcshorty18
    10 years ago

    I've gotten so pissed at my boyfriend for the same thing! His best friend is my step sister's boyfriend.. So if i tell my bf something, he tells his friend who then tells my sister. It's ridiculous! I gave my bf a Blowjob and let him finger me and stuff. I told him that he could tell his friend about the Blowjob and then my sister tells me that my bf told her bf every detail of what happened that night. Like the fact that he could only get one finger in. I don't really like my bf's best friend, so i'd rather not have him and my sister know every detail of my sex life. Lol.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      That must be worse with the step sister! The story he's telling doesn't sound embarrassing at all to be honest, but you still want things to be private and he's not keeping it!

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  • GreyWulfen
    10 years ago

    I would definitely hate that. It's a matter of trust, and some things definitely should be staying inside a relationship.

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