Ask Your Question today
I am a 23 year-old female, and been having sex since I was 17, but I always get nervous when I have sex for the first time with a new guy. I never know if he is going to be huge, or rough, or gentle, etc. Is it normal I get nervous having sex with a new guy for the first time?
| Yes, It's Normal, Get used to it | 56 | |
| No, you need help | 2 |
It is normal to be a little anxious about a first encounter, but if you are really creeped out, then perhaps the encounter isn't ready to happen.
if you get to know somebody properly first you shouldn't really get too anxious, i've got friends that go out each weekend and usually go home with a different guy each time, now that would definitely make me nervous.
personally i think sex should be part of a fully committed relationship, and i've only ever had sex with one guy and i ended up marrying him, and to be honest i wouldn't trade places with any of my friends for all the tea in china.
That is definitely normal, yes, but I wouldn't say "get used to it."
There are ways to minimize the nerves. First, make sure it's something you really want to do. Are you nervous because of the unknowns, or because you're not really ready? If it's the latter, it's okay to wait. Don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do...that's just going to make you more nervous, and more importantly, you won't be able to relax and enjoy it as much.
Second, you don't have to go from zero to full on sex immediately. There are other activities you can start with, that will help you get to know them and their bodies. Again, go at the pace you're comfortable with. It's okay to just make up and touch each other, or give each other oral, or anything you want before going all the way. That'll help you know what to expect when you are ready to go all the way.
Third, communication! You didn't specifically say this, but if you're nervous that they'll do something you don't like, tell them! You can tell them you don't like it too rough or too gentle, either before or while you're doing it. You're allowed to express your desires, and you should get comfortable doing so. You won't feel as nervous about not knowing what's going to happen if you know that you're in equal control of what happens.