Is it normal i feel people makes fun of me because i am sexually inexperienced?

65% Normal
51 Comments

I have never had sex. I'm 25. All of those things makes me feel very uncomfortable. When I know people knwos I'm a virgin, I feel they feel pity, compassion for me. When a bohyfriend said he was going to 'teach me' to kiss, I felt compassion for myself. And when I imagine being with someone like sexually, I feel he's making fun of me inside because he knows I feel uncomfortable and he just keeps going but making fun of me, and people around sees me with compasssion and feel sorry for me because I am with someone who makes fun of me at my back. So in that scene I feel everything is right, but it's not. I don't like feeling like this.

Voting Results
65% Normal
Based on 187 votes (122 yes)
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Comments ( 51 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago | pl

    You shouldn't be feeling sorry for yourself. There's nothing wrong with being sexually inexperienced.

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  • Energy
    11 years ago | pl

    Normal, but unhealthy. You should try and just relax. Not always are people making fun of you. I blame society for putting that fear in your head. :/

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  • Millie_the_evil_saint
    11 years ago

    Nobody is making fun of you. Especially if you're a girl (which I assume you are), guys get turned on even more when they find out you're a virgin. Not out of pity, out of lust. And then in sex, there isn't really much to 'learn'. It should come naturally once you're ready for it.

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    • youngoddess
      11 years ago

      aww I loved your comment :) Thank you!

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  • samcrow
    11 years ago

    Thank you for respecting yourself and being more valuable to most out there...

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    • ProseAthlete
      11 years ago

      Being a virgin has nothing to do with being "more valuable" or having more self-respect, and choosing to have sex doesn't cheapen a person. It's just a highly personal choice, not one that signifies self-respect or the lack of it.

      Putting virginity on a pedestal is just the flip side of slut-shaming (and if you don't know what that is, look it up). Don't do that. Not to men, not to women, not to virgins, not to non-virgins. Respect people's choices. We are all valuable.

      OP, don't assume others are feeling pity or mocking you behind your back. I was a little confused by the way you wrote this; I'm not sure if your boyfriend is actually making fun of you in front of other people or if you're just afraid he will, but there's truly no shame in lacking experience. We all lack experience at something.

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      • Theadage
        11 years ago

        There is so much social pressure for people to lose their virginity that I think Sam equates being a virgin with having a sense of identity, and not being easy to influence/rushed into things. Which are admirable characteristics.

        I don't think he means anything rude to those who aren't virgins. If you make a rational choice and choose to have sexual intercourse with someone, that doesn't make you any less valuable. On the other hand, sleeping around with anyone is typically unsafe... and in my opinion... dumb.

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      • samcrow
        11 years ago

        That's my personal opinion. Not placing virginity on a pedestal. However, virginity is still of some importance.... I think...

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        • ProseAthlete
          11 years ago

          That's awesome, and if it holds value to you, that's certainly your right to feel that way. I don't include any aspect of sexuality as part of my value system and don't count it for or against someone no matter what's gone on in their bathing-suit areas, but I know some people feel differently.

          I just wanted to offer a different perspective and point out that in an absolute, objective sense, virginity or the lack thereof doesn't have anything to do with "being more valuable."

          I believe we are all valuable. :)

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          • samcrow
            11 years ago

            Noone is "perfect" right... Some lie, cheat, steal, etc etc.how we appear and justify such issues is our perogrative.. That's why your name is proseAthelete and I'm Samcrow... Diff of opinion... Whose more right? That's not the case more so as to "agreeing to disagree"...
            We have strayed so much from innocence, it is a new age, what is right today was scandalous yesterday... Wonder what tomorrow holds..... Uuuuhhh exiting!!

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    • BlueJeansWhiteShirt
      11 years ago

      So in your opinion, I do not respect myself because I am not a virgin? And I have no value?
      Jeez I work my ass off at law school, have been told I will make a successful lawyer, contribute to society, contribute to justice and liberty, make peoples lives worth living but screw it all. I am not a virgin so all my work (and the ridiculous amount of money I spent studying and training so I could change peoples lives for the better) basically goes to shit. I am not worth it because I enjoy to harmlessly and safely sleep with multiple partners.

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      • samcrow
        11 years ago

        Ok lawyer... Let me ask you, does a person lose value if they lie cheat and/or steal? are these not the "scumbags" you protect our streets from?

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  • sunshinerose
    11 years ago

    im exactly the same way- younger though so its not a big deal yet but its still embarrassing as hell, so just know there are others out there. :)

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  • MalTownsend
    11 years ago

    Lucky u
    So much to explore

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    • youngoddess
      11 years ago

      what do you mean?

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      • MalTownsend
        11 years ago

        I mean, there is no rush to do it all
        I think it great to save up a few experiences to always be able to give your life a bit of a kick start when it's getting dull
        Does that make sense

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        • youngoddess
          11 years ago

          Oh ok, yes it does, thanks:)

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          • MalTownsend
            11 years ago

            If u would like to chat about it more let me know
            Only to happy to try and help anyone make sense of the world and their feelings.
            We all need to realise things are never as bad as they seem

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            • youngoddess
              11 years ago

              Thank you, I tried to send you a PM but it didnt let met, it says i have to have golden i dont know what, but thanks anyway:)

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  • ssrdnx
    11 years ago

    Idk I just no around here when girl I'm dating finds out I'm one they dump me and say something not right with u if u haven't lost it by now

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  • 4creilly
    11 years ago

    Everyone has sex for a first time and there was a time being a virgin was something to be proud of now the planets overrun with players and sluts. Hold your head high buddy your time will come i have no doubt

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  • mazgan
    11 years ago

    u deserve that. ur a girl, so easy for u to get some, if u were a guy that would be so much worse for u.

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  • mriceman
    11 years ago

    U Should leave him cause he isn't the guy for u in bed a really guy would like to make love to u either way if ur attractive or not that's my opinion

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  • dude_Jones
    11 years ago

    The question is who can you trust? There are a few guys who would like to help you at a pace you are comfortable with. You will have to share your feelings.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    It's not unhealthy, I'm just a few years younger and I'm a virgin AND I feel great. Don't feel bad. Please. Don't let anyone trick you into having the sexi-sex with you because you're 25 and lalllalalalla. Life isn't all about sex. Don't dwell too much on it. I don't mind being a virgin 'cause people who have been with like, 20 other people feel like such shitheads when they hear that I've been with no one. That's normally what irks on most of the making-fun-of. Insecurity.
    Whatever. I don't know. Good luck.

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    • ProseAthlete
      11 years ago

      Why would you assume that people who have had sex feel like shitheads when they hear you haven't? Do you feel superior to others because you chose to wear a red shirt the other day or because you decided to go swimming while other people went hiking?

      It's just different choices. You should feel great with your choice, but so should they. Please don't shame other people for choosing sex.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Then don't shame me.

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        • ProseAthlete
          11 years ago

          Disagreeing with you is not shaming you. In fact, I agreed with you that you should feel good about your choices. More power to you if you know what you want and choose it -- as long as you don't use those choices as a bludgeon to beat other people down and make them feel bad for their decisions.

          I would say the same thing if you'd had lots of relationships and were shaming someone for being a virgin, by the way. People should be kinder to one another and more understanding of their choices, not using them as reasons to make others feel small.

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            I don't use it against other people. In fact, I never talk about it unless I know the other person or the conversation really calls for it. Like this, I just wanted to let the OP know they aren't alone. I 'unno.

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      • slenderman
        11 years ago

        nice metaphor.

        just kidding.

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      • samcrow
        11 years ago

        And let's not shame others for NOT choosing sex... Where do we draw the line anyways? This just shows that we really are ... Not much diff than the animals; if it is not your belief that your are not an animal.

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    • BlueJeansWhiteShirt
      11 years ago

      I have been with a lot of people and in no way do I feel like a 'shithead' when someone around me speaks out that they are a virgin.
      Because I don't regret having sex with a lot of people. It was fun, I didn't harm anyone in the process, and no harm was caused to me.
      People like me make the choice to become extremely sexually active. People like you make the choice to be virgins. We are in no way better than one another. I have never felt jealousy towards a virgin because I love my choice! I have never felt like a shithead. And I promise you, when I am on my death bed, I still will not feel like a shithead for sleeping around and not keeping my virginity.
      Someone who has slept with 20 people doesn't make them a bad person. Being a virgin does not make you a bad person. Our worth in this world is not dependent on our sex lives.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        Okay, I've seen your other replies to other people...and I am not going to argue with you because you seem like just another asshole on the internet. I -Promise- you, I will not reply to your next response.

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        • BlueJeansWhiteShirt
          11 years ago

          I think your idea of an "asshole" may be warped. The only comments I have made in the past couple of days consist of declaring my love for other members, declaring my love for potatos and vaginas. I'm far from an asshole.

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          • slenderman
            11 years ago

            Yep, definitely an asshole.

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  • 1000yrVampireKing
    11 years ago

    They probobly do and that is ok. Do not feel bad about it. It is your choice and you should not feel pressured to do anything you are not comfortable with.

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    • samcrow
      11 years ago

      Amen

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    A 25 yr old virgin is funny, what the fuck do you expect. I knew a guy who was a virgin 'till around then, but he was a ranga. You have no excuse.

    Just fuck a random hooker/person, you only have to do it once and then nobody can tease you. You can go right back to never having sex, but atleast you won't be a virgin.

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    • Thewomanizer
      11 years ago

      you are such a moron with all your comments that I have read

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        "you are such a moron with all your comments that I have read"

        Hahaha you call me a moron yet there is something very inarticulate about your sentence, see if you can guess what it is!

        My intelligence is apodictic.

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        • sunshinerose
          11 years ago

          my god you're arrogant- how do you fit that ego through the door?

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          • sunshinerose
            11 years ago

            actually i rescind my previous statement- you're just an asshole.

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            • [Old Memory]
              11 years ago

              *I

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          • [Old Memory]
            11 years ago

            I fold it up, lock it, then put it in my pocket.

            I just don't believe in giving sympathy to sympathy seekers, sucking up to people just to look good is disgusting.

            And being "arrogant" towards a person who has the audacity to call you a moron but is unable to form a sentence is quite justified indeed.

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      • samcrow
        11 years ago

        LMFAO...

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  • KeddersPrincess
    11 years ago

    Don't feel bad. I will always be sexually inexperienced as I have no interest in sex. :)

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  • samcrow
    11 years ago

    If you feel uncomfortable, don't stay shut! This is a crucial point in your life... You should have your own blog. A 25 yr old virgin... To many it's a joke. That's because they are so fucking nasty and just go with the rest of the current of dumbasses...

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  • Alfie
    11 years ago

    What you need to do is to go to a nude bar and ask the guys with hardons to fuck you.And also use a condom.

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  • Fabulous
    11 years ago

    I'll teach you sex. Just sit on my dick and jump. It's relish like your moms macaroni and cheer recipe

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