Is it normal i feel betrayed that my bf had couch surfers over while i was away

55% Normal
26 Comments

So my man lives in another country and I came home to Cali to visit family and since I have been gone (Late August) he has been hosting his house to couch surfers from couchsurfing.org! I found his profile as I came across it in a google search on his name (something was not sitting right, I had a bad feeling) and saw he had been out with women swimming at night, and riding women on his motorcycle (got me super upset) and has been on adventures with men and even went on a group bike ride. He swore up and down he did not have sex or even kiss any of the women, but I don't know if I should believe him.
So should I feel betrayed because he didn't tell me and kept it a secret for like 2 months?!

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 49 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    He probalby kept it a secret because he knew you would freak out.

    Unless you have reasons to not trust him you should give him the benefit of the doubt about the sex or kissing.

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    • kit291
      11 years ago

      but one of my ex's cheated on me and i trusted him 100% i never even thought he'd cheated on me. it was at a party that someone had photos of him kissing another girl when i found out.

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      • Terence_the_viking
        11 years ago

        Then i hope things work out for you.

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  • Mlopez0718
    11 years ago

    I'd be pisst! Break up with him he took advantage that you weren't there..why? He's obviously hiding something, an affair most likely. If it was so innocent why lie and hide it from you; don't be stupid, dump his ass!

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    • HawkStar
      11 years ago

      Your right...why would he hide it if he wasn't feeling GUILTY?? BINGO

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    Oh no, he let people stay in his own home that he owns and not you?! Scandalous.

    Honestly that network is *huge* over in Europe. I have several online friends who are part of that network, backpacking is much more common there. Seems to me like you're probably just jealous you missed all the interesting times.

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    • HawkStar
      11 years ago

      Yeah, your right! Totally jealous cause these women he hosted were desperate to stay at a good looking guys house in Turkey...not to mention a beautiful area near Bodrum on the sea :( Just sucks ya know. I want to couch surf and get him back and let him feel how I felt. No harm...right? Just good 'ol couch surfing :)

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      • shade_ilmaendu
        11 years ago

        What this really comes down to is whether or not you trust your boyfriend. If you don't trust him and have reason to believe he would do things, that's one thing.

        If you do trust him and he's never given you any reason to suspect he'd be unfaithful, then I just don't understand. I'm a very not jealous type myself and prefer open relationships relying on complete honesty and open communication.

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    If MY man rode another woman on his motorcycle I would be very very mad. I cannot stand the thought of him having a vagina (other than mine) in his back. Oh no!

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  • EAT_IT
    11 years ago

    I would eat my couch if it was made out of cheese.

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    • HawkStar
      11 years ago

      So would I...but it would have to be Gouda cheese ;)

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      • EAT_IT
        11 years ago

        Good choice!

        *high five*

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  • Justsomejerk
    11 years ago

    Adventures with men! Group bike ride? Asshole.

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    • HawkStar
      11 years ago

      LOL! I know...right?!
      It's the fact that he treated strangers better than me~ no lie! I read what they wrote him on his couch surfing profile and he even went out of his way to cook them breakfast when he hardly ever did this for me. Just not cool.

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      • Justsomejerk
        11 years ago

        Without any evidence of him being unfaithful, I think you have to give him the benefit of the doubt.

        But I think I'd be a bit jealous too if my partner had a great time while I was away.

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  • messed_up_guy
    11 years ago

    Well, did he actually hide it as in you asked what he was doing and he just said "nothing" or actively avoided telling you about it or did he just not talk about it like it was no big deal?

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    • HawkStar
      11 years ago

      We were talking the whole time he was "hosting" his house. We would Skype here and there and he would call and I always asked him what he was up to...he lied about it. Told me other things...like he was working on the house or at a business meeting. Then when I confronted him...he got all crazy! Then he sent a picture of a flower he picked and said sorry, but still blamed me for leaving to see my family. Like this was his excuse for doing it :(

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  • BeautyBodyBrains
    11 years ago

    If the site is a chat/dating thing (not sure, never heard of it) then most likely he is cheating. Why is he letting other females over anyway? No excuse.

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  • Dr.Wigglefarmer
    11 years ago

    Tell him to see me. He could have a personality disorder.

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    • HawkStar
      11 years ago

      Hi is bi-polar :/

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  • johnsey420
    11 years ago

    I think tbh he hasn't cheated if hand relief doesn't count. Unless he's in a synchronise (female) swimming team ...... in californa...... that could also mean he is telling the truth.... and if hand relief and the syncro team idea isn't true .... then he is a filthy lying cheat....... probably with chlamydia........ because she was a couch surfer : )

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  • SirSlenderMan
    11 years ago

    When I saw couch surfers I thought of people diving through couch cusions with flash lights looking for change. You dissapoint me.

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    • Sog
      11 years ago

      That's couch fishing. Couch surfing is when you're a drifter that asks strangers to let you sleep on their couch and live in their home for a day or so.

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      • SirSlenderMan
        11 years ago

        Well, I wasn't being serious and it was the middle of the night but I didn't know there was a coined community of people who just go around crashing at a random person's place. So like, is it just having a slumber party at a stranger's house? Or are these basically hook-ups?

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        • Sog
          11 years ago

          Yeah, there's a whole website dedicated to this. It has a map so you can find and contact strangers to crash at.

          It's not for hookups though; it's supposed to be for vagrants. Some people just wander all over the country because they're homeless, or adventuring, or whatever, and they constantly need a place to sleep.

          Shady as hell if you ask me.

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    • HawkStar
      11 years ago

      Wow, get out of your hole your living in...lol

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