Is it normal i dont care for my dad's birthday even though it may be his last?

56% Normal
2 Comments

I haven't talked to him in about 4-5 months. This is unusual because he used to call me every other week, if even for a minute. I have ignored all his calls.

My family keeps persuading me to wish him. My sister tried to emotionally blackmail me saying how he is 68 and this may be his last birthday. I still didnt care.

My dad's an alcoholic. He's only ever been willing to talk to anyone when he's intoxicated. When sober he is a man of very few words. He is the reason I vowed to never touch alcohol. Because if it wasnt for that substance, I would have had a proper father. Not a melodramatic, irrational, abusive man who you could never really talk to anything because he was drunk, because you cant really have "real" conversations with wasted people.

I used to be fine and tolerate his drunken state for the past 20 years i.e. my entire life. With ups and downs. And even loved him. But then not sure why and how, all that changed a few months ago.

Voting Results
56% Normal
Based on 25 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • modernism
    9 years ago

    Wow. Okay, listen. From your perspective, I can tell you're not so fond of him. He might not get the "Father of the Year" award, but it doesn't mean he isn't trying to be at least something to you. He has issues. And it's not something where you can just "get over it". You can't just get over being an alcoholic.

    It's his fault - completely. Yeah. Everyone has faults though - his just might be a bit larger of an issue. Deep down, he's probably filled with guilt and regret for not being with you sober at every moment possible. The least you could give him is heart-felt, hand-written letter filled with nothing but positivity and celebration. He's still your father. And he's the only one you're gonna get.

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  • thegypsysailor
    9 years ago

    I think you have the most selfish view of a parent I have ever heard. Whatever your father's failings, not one of them was directed at you. He did not become an alcoholic to fuck with you. He was not a quiet man just to spite you.
    He was obviously a very troubled and tortured man and it doesn't sound like you did shit to help him either.
    So give the old dude a break and stop acting like a fucking baby; you aren't perfect either, I'd wager.

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