Is it normal i don't think you can be "in love" with someone if the feelings

56% Normal

aren't mutual? I see all these stories on here about being so called in love with someone but the other person is gay or just downright does not feel the same way. I've just always thought that being in love includes two people..not just one. Maybe they're confusing in love and an obsession? I dk. I think of in love as two people sharing everything (or mostly everything) with their significant other. I don't know if I'm making any sense but opinions would be appreciated to help me understand. Anyways, to sum up is it normal that I don't think you can be in love with someone if that person isn't in love with you?

Voting Results

56% Normal

Based on 32 votes (18 yes)

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Comments ( 19 )

JenAus1217

12 years ago

I'm not sure about how to answer you but I'd just try:

If you look it up in a dictionary, you would find out that 'In Love' generally means that a person has a deep feeling/affection/fondness/emotional attachment toward someone or something.

It's not necessary for 'In Love' to be mutual.

Examples:
I am in love with that lovely boy.
I am in love with Whitney Houston's voice.
I am in love with Chinese food.

The object can be anyone or anything that the person's fond of. If the object can be a thing instead of a person, then you'd know that 'In Love' isn't necessarily mutual (unless the lifeless thing can love you back).

More importantly, the subject of the examples is 'I'. Therefore the sentences only describe the feelings of 'I', which means that 'In Love' can be very personal and doesn't have to be mutual.

However,

Examples:
We are in love.
That young couple is madly in love.
My parents are still in love.

In these cases, when the subject is changed from 'I' to 'We', 'Couple' or just more than one person, then 'In Love' would entail mutuality since the sentences describe feelings which belong to more than one person.

In a nutshell, whether 'In Love' is mutual or not depends on the subject of the sentence, so it's not necessarily mutual.

Sorry for making it so grammatical. I just can't think of another way to explain it to you. I wish my explanation helps :)

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- JenAus1217
  
  12 years ago
  
  I've read the other comments...seems like I've misunderstood something? Anyway, you can ignore me if I'm being stupid :p
  
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PumpkinKate

12 years ago

Love is subjective, so it's pretty impossible to argue one way or the other. Each person's idea and experience with "love" is going to be very personal to them.

That being said, I would say that I believe someone who feels like they "love" someone who does not love them back, is only scratching the very very utmost tip of an incredibly vast and amazing iceberg. That doesn't mean I think what they feel isn't "real" or "legitimate" but I think it's just the precursor to something greater.

The thing is, it gets tricky with how much return you get with feelings of love. I have met people with whom I shared a great deal - friendship, joy, intimacy, secrets, even sex... but they were in "love" with someone else, as in they were married or in a committed relationship. (Don't take this the wrong way - it was all openly discussed and mutual, and involved all 3 parties in both cases) Can I say that I was "in love" with the person? Absolutely. Intensely so, even. To the point where it ached in my chest every day. But... they weren't able to return the same level of love. So does that mean I didn't really "love" them? It's tough to say.

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ChocolateBlunder

12 years ago

I think the exact same thing. If the person doesn't know or say they feel the same way, I really don't think it's love. More like infatuation. It could just be a huge crush. People naturally want to be loved in return, so I don't think you can be in love with someone, finding out they don't love you, and say you're still in love. It's almost an obsession in that case

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- Unimportant
  
  12 years ago
  
  let me ask you this: How should it be?
  
  You love someone, you find out they don't love you, and you just flip the switch, turn off the love and look for someone else? That has never worked for me.
  
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  - ChocolateBlunder
    
    12 years ago
    
    I think you could never actually love someone who doesn't love you. Like it was never love in the first place if they don't love you. Friendship is a good example. It's a mutual thing. We both have to agree that we're friends. I can't be your friend without you being my friend. If I say me and you are friends, you would say no we aren't, then we're not friends. Same thing with love really, except it has affection
    
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    - Unimportant
      
      12 years ago
      
      What about a married couple, who loved each other, and then the husband is filing for divorce, because he fell out of love. The wife doesn't want the divorce, because she still loves him.
      
      But you are saying, she doesn't love him anymore, either - just because he doesn't. I think you are wrong.
      
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      - ChocolateBlunder
        
        12 years ago
        
        That's another situation entirely. I know that can happen because people change. So at one point they were both in love, but the husband fell out of it. You can still be in love with someone who once loved you, but I don't think you can fall in love and be in love with someone who never had those feelings for you.
        
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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  Thank you. You understand what I'm saying.
  
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Shackleford96

12 years ago

"I LOVE that movie!"

"OMG, I LOVE skittles!"

"I LOVE my dog!"

"(insert generic sentence which conveys how the word "love" has lost most of it's true meaning)"

Yes, it's normal.

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- lc1988
  
  12 years ago
  
  Marry me.
  
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  - Shackleford96
    
    12 years ago
    
    Haha, I can't afford to marry you :P
    
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    - lc1988
      
      12 years ago
      
      lololol
      
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Faceless

12 years ago

I love carpet.

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alv1592

12 years ago

I get what you're saying. Well there's a difference between love, like, etc. It is possible to have a crush on anyone, because that means you're simply attracted to their looks. But you don't like or love the person if you don't know anything about them. I should've told my ex crush that when he was fawning over some celebrity...

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joybird

12 years ago

I think you can be but....

I think you need to replace in love with "married" in your title and description.

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- Anonymous Post Author
  
  12 years ago
  
  No I don't think so.
  
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  - joybird
    
    12 years ago
    
    "I've just always thought that being married (in love) includes two people..not just one."
    
    "I think of marriage (in love) as two people sharing everything (or mostly everything) with their significant other."
    
    Quite often marriage and being in love are not always the same.
    
    I think I know what you're saying - that to be truly in love it needs to be reciprocated. I think that to be truly in love with someone you have to really know them and not delude yourself that they have wonderful qualities that they don't.
    
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RinTin

12 years ago

IDK. I think if you are good friends with a person it's possible.

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Is it normal i don't think you can be "in love" with someone if the feelings