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I just think it doesn't exist. Heterosexuality is obviously natural and homosexuality is not as natural but I DO understand it. Bi to me is fake and not a real sexuality. This is just what I believe. IIN?
| Yeah it's normal, I don't believe in it either | 19 | |
| No it's not normal, it's a real thing | 64 | |
| I don't know what I believe | 11 |
So your logic is- If you can't understand something it therefore cannot exist?
Did you know that when you put a blanket over your head we can still see you.
"Normal" as in "common and usual"? Yes. "Normal" as in "commonly accepted and right"? No, definitely not.
Whether you believe in it or not doesn't matter. Bisexuality is real. There are many people who truly are sexually attracted to both genders.
I think it would be good to find out WHY you think it's fake. Because you've never felt that way and/or don't think you know anyone who does? How does that prove it's fake? Do you think that just because you haven't ever experienced something, then it must be not real?
Ever experienced being bisexual? No? Then it must be fake. Ever experienced Africa? No? Then it must be fake. Ever experienced anal sex? No? Then it must be fake. Ever experienced working as an astrophysicist? No? Then it must be fake. Ever experienced being the President of the US? No? Then it must be fake. Do you see how silly that all is?
How is this "common and usual"? I've never met anyone in person who said anything like that.
You sound like the OP.
"The belief that bisexuality does not exist is common,[18] " http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexuality#Label_accuracy
"The Insulting Study that Proves Bisexuality is Real" http://theweek.com/article/index/218507/the-insulting-study-that-proves-bisexuality-is-real#axzz34wAWygYC
"Bisexuality Not Deemed A 'Legitimate Sexual Orientation' By Heterosexual Men, Women: University Of Pittsburgh Study" http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/06/bisexuality-straight-men-study-_n_4226065.html
And when you're done there, just Google "Bi Erasure" and "You are either gay, straight, or lying." (You mean you've never heard that last saying? Really?)
No, I've never heard the last saying. And still, I've never met anyone who denied the existence of bisexuality. Yes, there are some idiots out there, but they are (luckily) not the majority. The poll above seems to prove that.
And why exactly do I sound like the OP? I don't get that statement at all.
It appeared that you were doubting that it's common or usual for people to believe bisexuality isn't real. It is common or usual, as the poll is showing. Hence why your post sounded to me like the OP's.
At the time of this writing, the poll shows 20% who don't believe it's real and another 7% who doubt. Commonality doesn't have to have a majority. That's being prevalent, and I don't think the disbelief in bisexuality is prevalent. Not long ago it was, but not so much anymore. And hopefully soon it won't even be common.
Whats not NORMAL is a woman claiming she's a lesbian then having sex with a man then claiming she's straight. OR a man that's sooooo straight he could NEVER see himself doing anything so disgusting then having sex with the same sex. Thats CONFUSED! A woman/man that can openly admit she's/he's attracted to both men and women is respectable because they're HONEST!! (Yes Im a bisexual) lol but a lot of people feel the way you do.
Denial is a defense mechanism. Its what a person does to protect themselves when they cant handle the truth. Most mechanisms are not healthy or really dealing with the problem but it saves the person from having to deal with them. You might think its better to just deal with the issue directly but some people just are not strong enough. There is a large list of mechanisms actually.
Hilarity...You don't believe that someone can be attracted to both sexes yet you can see it in everyday life. You can decide if you agree with bisexuality....but to deny its existence is to deny the world being round. It's science.
People can and do find both sexes attractive. Myth busted.
Can you explain your logic?
I assure you, I get just as aroused seeing Cristiano Ronaldo all sweaty as I do seeing Deborah Ann Woll.
What is so hard to believe about some people being sexually attracted to humans in general? I guess in sexuality is the only instance a person should discriminate apparently.
You are basing this on the idea that sexual desire exists so humans can procreate. Now if we assume that sexuality is not only biological but physiological that would mean gays are having the same reaction but their brains are processing it differently.
In this sense it would just be that all humans desire sex and intimacy and they all choose to express it in a different manner. Some people have sex with whoever, some just with boys, some just with girls, some with animals and the list goes on.
However simply processing the desire to have sex differently does not necessarily cause harm. This would also explain why some people end up as pedophiles, some people are gay, some people want sex with animals, some people want incest, and some people want sex with apposing genders, and than we have a number of fetishes and paraphileas.
People who deny sex or otherwise deny themselves sexual desire will be asexual. People who have a fear of touching others might turn out asexual and people with a fear of intimacy might turn out asexual. Since there brain is for some reason telling them sex is bad and to deny it. Which can be caused by a number of things.
Wait, fuck?
That statement would make more sense if you were a homophobe. Explain to me how human beings can be attracted to either sex but not both of them at once? That's like saying you can like strawberry ice cream or chocolate ice cream but NOT both of them...it just doesn't make sense.
I think sexuality is a spectrum, and everyone falls somewhere on that spectrum. I think it's unusual to meet someone who is truly bi (ie likes both men and women completely equally) but more common than accepted to find straight men and women who are curious and happy to experiment, or gay men and women who sometimes express interest in the opposite sex as well. I mean, all you need to do to verify this is spend ten minutes on IIN.
Bisexuality doesn't have to mean you like Men and Women EQUALLY. -Kinsey Scale.
Yeah, obviously. The Kinsey Scale was what I referred to in my comment. I was explaining that to the OP.
You are right that sexuality is a spectrum, and everyone falls somewhere on that spectrum. But I think you have your terminology wrong and I think that's what LizardSkin was referring to.
To be truly bi means you are attracted to more than one gender, not necessarily in equal percentages. Period. Some bisexual people are mostly attracted to men and a little bit to women, some bisexual people are mostly attracted to women and a little bit to men. You don't have to be attracted to each sex equally to be bi.
If a "gay" man expresses interest in females as well, he's bi, EVEN if it's only "sometimes". If a "lesbian" is attracted to men sometimes, she's bi.
I don't agree. I think people are allowed to choose their own identity and people can identify as gay even if they're still slightly attracted to the opposite sex. We've agreed that sexuality operates on a spectrum, which means the vast majority of people are bi by your definition, which obviously isn't true. However, when I was commenting to the OP, by 'truly bi' I meant in the sense I assumed he/she meant - mostly when people say 'I don't believe in bisexuality', they mean that they don't believe that people can be equally attracted to both sexes. This was speculative on my part.
Personally, I think that few people are solely attracted to people of the opposite or same gender, but that doesn't mean that most people are bisexual. Lots of straight girls watch lesbian pornography or kiss their female friends, but that doesn't mean that they are bisexual or identify as such, and for them to do so would be a misnomer. Same with straight men who are curious about what it would be like to get a blowjob or a handjob from a guy. They aren't bisexual because they chose to identify as straight and pursue relationships/sexual experiences with the opposite sex. Does that make sense?
One more point:
"We've agreed that sexuality operates on a spectrum, which means the vast majority of people are bi by your definition, which obviously isn't true."
Not necessarily. Whether that's true or not is hard to prove, likely because of the common misconceptions of what bisexuality is. That leads to people identifying as one thing, but acting like another - sometimes BEING bisexual but not knowing it. The myth of "you're not bisexual unless you are equally attracted to both sexes" plays a not insignificant part in this I'd think.
<a href="http://www.examiner.com/article/bisexuality-101-how-many-bisexuals-are-out-there" rel="nofollow">http://www.examiner.com/article/bisexuality-101...</a>
"It's not easy to find hard numbers on this. To quote scholar and activist Loraine Hutchins:
'Newer Kinsey Institute studies found both more evidence of bisexuality, and more denial. A late 80s study, for instance, showed 46 percent of (self-labeled) lesbians, not bisexuals, reporting having sex with men since in the '80s.'
Time Magazine said any statistic is unreliable because people who engage in such behavior don't consider themselves bisexual."
Yes, it makes sense in that I understand what you are saying and why. I just disagree with it. I do agree with you that anyone should be able to identify as whatever they feel they are.
But, respectfully, I don't agree with much of the rest of what you are saying.
When you used the term "truly bi" as "being equally attracted to both sexes", you are perpetuating a myth. I'm sure it was inadvertent, but still it's a myth. Perpetuating that myth makes it hard for people who identify as bi to be believed when they aren't equally attracted to everyone.
<a href="http://www.glaad.org/blog/celebrate-bisexuality-glaad-dispels-common-myths-and-stereotypes" rel="nofollow">http://www.glaad.org/blog/celebrate-bisexuality...</a>
"MYTH: “One cannot identify as bisexual unless they like both men and women equally.”
FACT: Some bisexual people are overwhelmingly attracted to men and occasionally attracted to women. Some bisexual people are overwhelmingly attracted to women and occasionally attracted to men. Some prefer to date genderqueer or gender non-conforming partners. The spectrum of bisexual people includes all kinds of individual preferences. The only thing that bisexual people have in common is that they are attracted to people of more than one gender."
I don't care what you call it flopping a wiener in your mouth is fucking gay.
Oh god another straight person again..well look here pal...bisexuals dont give a fuck if you dont believe in us or not..we are going to keep living our lives while you keep obsessing about homosexuals and bi people.You straights need to get a life seriously and fyi we do exist bitch
I don't believe in it either. Frankly, I wish it didn't exist. One, it's too confusing and Two, it has the potential of polygamy being practiced and you should know how much I LOATHE that practice. Either you're gay, straight, or asexual. No exceptions.
Now I wait for the hate to fall...
So you wish it didn't exist because you find it too confusing. Do you really want someone who is truly bisexual to have to deny their true self just so you don't have to put extra effort into understanding something?
It's really not that confusing - if someone is attracted to more than one gender, they're bisexual. It really is as simple as that.
And you wish it didn't exist because it might lead to polygamy. It won't. It doesn't. Being attracted to more than one gender does NOT mean they want to be married to more than one person. Attraction and desire to marry are two different things.
Have you been attracted to more than one person in your life? Do you want to be married to them both at the same time just because you're attracted to them? Of course not.
I dont believe in sexuality.
I believe whoever you fall for you be with.
I have a friend who was in love with his best friends girl and boy he belives the same as me
The gayest man can still love a woman vice versa.
"I don't believe it, because I don't understand it." is basically, what you are saying. Sorry, but bisexuality is a real thing, and your "belief" doesn't change that.
I think OP is saying it should not be classified as sexuality but a fetish. Which fetishes alone are not always classified alone as ones sexuality. Like someone having a foot fetish doesn't necessarily define them as straight or gay.
I understand what you're saying and can see that their words can be taken that way. But what is more clear to me is that their words say "it's not real, but is and it's a fetish". Makes me think they're waffling since they really haven't given their "belief" a lot of thought, but just reacted emotionally to the subject instead of really critically thinking about it.
Until the OP learns how to express themselves in a more clear and thoughtful way, we'll never know for sure. And I'm not holding out hope on that one.
Not everyone can explain themselves perfectly all the time. Sometimes people have problems trying to explain what they mean. It does not mean what they think is any less relevant. They simply need better presentation skills. Now I don't claim to be able to read the OP mind or anything but from what I read I don't think they were trying to say it doesn't exist. Though classifying bisexuality itself as a fetish is debatable.
I have seen a lot of people who say they are bi and flip flop and finally end up picking a side. I also seen people who simply don't want to admit they are gay say they are bi. So given those observations I think its an in between stage.
If they are picking a side, that doesn't change anything about them being bisexual.
No it means they are not bisexual. Being Lesbian means you like girls not you like both. Saying I am bisexual means you like both. Lesbian(Girl who likes girls) Bisexual(Girl who likes boys or girls), and Straight(Girl who like boys). Those are not ALL the same thing unless you don't understand what sexuality is which seems to be the case.
"Picking a side" can be taken differently that what you might have meant, especially in the context of your post above. When you say you believe it's an in between stage, it appears to me (and apparently others) that you are saying bisexuality doesn't really exist as a true sexual orientation, but is only a phase people go through before deciding which they really are - homosexual or heterosexual. That's not true all the time, as many bisexual people who have been attracted to more than one gender all their lives can attest.
You don't say you believe it's a real thing. You do say that, based on your personal experiences, it's only a stage. This also sounds like the OP's belief. Is that really what you think?
Well, if it's a fetish, then it exists. So you're just contradicting yourself here.
Besides, you should google what a "fetish" is, because you don't seem to understand that.
Feel free to think what you'd like. Come to your own conclusions, politically correct or not. It's not agreeable nor normal, for now. Society changes beliefs frequently, so I'm sure the past and future consider you normal at some period.
As for my belief, I think it's more rare for someone to be genuinely turned by both anatomies equally than people like to admit, but it does happen somewhat frequently.
Do you think that in order for someone to be bisexual, they have to be attracted to both sexes equally?
Well, mostly yes. If it weren't the case, I think most people would be bisexual. It isn't difficult to get turned on by or have deep feelings for either gender. A lot of people could get off if some is rubbing them the right way. However, most people are more intrigued with one more than the other, regardless of how open they are to the other.
That being said, there are people who genuinely feel exactly the same toward both genders. That would be truly bisexual. Otherwise, it seems a lot of it is simply intrigue and/or openness.
I think if we're being PC, you would define several bisexuals as bi-curious.
But that's not what it means. A bisexual person CAN be attracted to both sexes equally, but they don't HAVE to be in order to be bisexual. Bisexuality really is simply being attracted to more than one gender, even if their attractions are in unequal proportions.
If they're not sure if they're attracted to both genders and are still exploring, I could agree that they could be considered bi-curious. But just because 90% of who someone is attracted to are male and 10% are female, that doesn't mean they are bi-curious. If they have found out this is their true orientation, they are bisexual.
http://www.glaad.org/blog/celebrate-bisexuality-glaad-dispels-common-myths-and-stereotypes
http://www.glaad.org/blog/celebrate-bisexuality-day-lets-break-some-bisexual-myths
"MYTH: “One cannot identify as bisexual unless they like both men and women equally."
FACT: Some bisexual people are overwhelmingly attracted to men and occasionally attracted to women. Some bisexual people are overwhelmingly attracted to women and occasionally attracted to men. Some prefer to date genderqueer or gender non-conforming partners. The spectrum of bisexual people includes all kinds of individual preferences. The only thing that bisexual people have in common is that they are attracted to people of more than one gender."
It's a real thing, but every time you hear someone is gay, shout HA GAYYYYYY