Is it normal i don't associate (romantic) love with marriage

52% Normal
12 Comments

To me, marriage and love (romantic love, that is) are separate. I view marriage as a partnership based on care and security, or as The Corpse Bride put it, "a partnership, a little tit for tat". I don't see the absolute need for romantic love in a marriage, just mutual respect and care. I'm not saying that a marriage can't be caused by love (which is the standard in the Western world), but I do not see them as "going together as horse and carriage". Rather, I see a love marriage more akin to having a gourmet meal to satisfy your hunger - you don't need your food to taste delicious to eat, but it feels good anyways.

Is it normal for a young man to hold this belief in the modern world?

Voting Results
52% Normal
Based on 27 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • charli.m
    10 years ago

    I couldn't do that but there's no doubt it works for some.

    For me, I'd be quite happy for love without marriage.

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    • peterr
      10 years ago

      Me too!

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  • BowTied
    10 years ago

    The Corpse Bride? I thought about marketing the wedding video from my first marriage under that title. Tim Burton had beaten me to it.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      When did you first get married?
      Before 2005, I presume.

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  • ccjigsaw
    10 years ago

    I get what you're saying %100. Love is only part of it. Once you get past the "honey moon" stage and you are left to really look at your partner, that's what really counts. If by the end of all the passion you are fighting and can't stand that person then it all means nothing. What you described is a sort of love to. You can love your friends and family without all the intimacy. I always say, essentially you want to be marrying your best friend. Someone who loves you in a "I'll do your dishes for you and cook you dinner today because I know you've had a rough week" kind of way. Basically they care that you are having a rough time and they want to help...because..well..they love you. I think people are maybe looking at your post the wrong way. Or maybe I am? haha

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      That's why I put "(romantic)", because I know that there are various types of love.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    You're ideas about love and marriage make the single life sound even more appealing. Without love I don't see the point in marriage.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      When you fall ill and you're all alone, you'll understand.

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      • RoseIsabella
        10 years ago

        I have Fibromyalgia symptoms and chronic Myofascial pain. A few months ago I had terrible bronchitis and I still don't understand. Perhaps this is a cultural thing. Do you come from a culture that practices arranged marriages?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          No. I was born and raised in the Western world.

          BTW I know someone with dementia who needs a spouse to take care of him.

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          • RoseIsabella
            10 years ago

            Your friend is blessed. I sure as hell wouldn't take care of either of my ex husbands, a cheater and an alcoholic. I know my folks will take care of each other and I will certainly do my part to take care of them as well. More than likely I will be forced to fend for myself when I'm old. I'm pretty sure I've made peace with the notion. As far as I'm concerned being alone is better than being with the wrong person. There's no guarantee that a spouse wouldn't completely screw me over.

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    • peterr
      10 years ago

      Right on Sweetie!

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