Is it normal i did this even though i didn't want to? what should i do?

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22 Comments

I met a guy last night when I was clubbing. We were sitting in the smoking area of the club and started chatting. He was a soldier, about 6"3 and fairly attractive, and an absolutely lovely guy. We ended up going on a walk when the club closed. He kept saying things like he couldn't believe I was with him, that he'd been so nervous to approach me, that he couldn't believe I didn't have a boyfriend, etc etc. I was a bit suprised and said similar things back, that I really liked him etc etc.

We ended up going back to my place, and when I saw him in the light, I simply was not attracted to him at all. I so wish I had been because he was lovely, but he was really acne scarred and had a monobrow and other things I hadn't been able to see in the dark of the club and outside. I felt so terrible, I didn't want to take back all the nice things I'd said cuz they seemed to mean so much to him, so I ended up letting him stay over and did some sexual stuff etc. He wants to keep seeing me and I just don't know what to do, or how to let him down gently - I really don't want to hurt his feelings. Im not interested in people telling me Im a slag or shallow, I want advice on how to avoid hurting this guy.

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 41 votes (31 yes)
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Comments ( 22 )
  • katie88
    13 years ago

    Just say you just aren't feeling it. Don't string him along any further it will just be bad for both of you. By the way I don't think your being shallow. Everyone is attracted to different people. Attraction is an important thing to have. Just because you find him unattractive doesn't mean someone else will.

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    give him a kiss goodbye and say naw cuh

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  • Xarius
    12 years ago

    completely normal! how you let him stay I don't know! :L anyways as a guy that is pretty fat and I don't get the best of luck with girls, I woul say be blunt and truthful, don't say stuff like 'I just don't want a relationship right now' or 'its not you, its me' etc... seriously just say I am not attracted to you and I don't want to be with you, also check out the next guy ins street light first ;) haha

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    as 4 the story...tell him that u dont u think that it will work out cuz u dont want 2 date someone thats in the military cuz they usually turn out 2 b posseive and rude. not to metion but its a realationship that requires a lot of trust and u dont think ur ready 4 any type of relationship.(especially if he is in the marines!!)

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  • roni88
    12 years ago

    I agrre with itduz but hey dont comment and move along if u dont care lol. As for the story... Uhmm just say u dont like to date military plp.

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  • theytookthisone
    13 years ago

    You should have drank more

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  • mayadukkha
    13 years ago

    Tell him ur getting bk w ur ex. Works every time.

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  • andy14
    13 years ago

    Give em a chance u might like him for who he is.

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  • DannyKanes
    13 years ago

    Devilla, that was awesome :-D

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  • lit.lover
    13 years ago

    Well I know what you mean.... Just maybe be friends with the guy? Let him know that the spark or w/e just ain't lighting? You're just gonna have to go with your gut on this one I think :/

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  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago

    Ugh when will you diots realise doing something wrong or right isn tthe same as doing something normal or un normal
    Just because you do something that wasnt right does not mean its un normal. Do you get it yet? if so please shut up about your sobby relationships stories they are fucking anoying and none of them are un normal they are always fucking normal. But I guess this wont stop you because you all like to submit sobby relationship bullshit even if it avoids the purpose of the website.

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    • bleach_baby
      13 years ago

      I think it's you who is missing the point of this site. This site is about accepting and supporting people who are going through difficult times and questioning themselves, if you don't like a story, don't comment. Everyone who posts here is posting because they are insecure or unhappy about something and people like you don't help.

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      • [Old Memory]
        13 years ago

        Ah I suggest you read over the info about the site before you start talking as if you know what the site is about you explained it to be nothing of which it is explained to be about so no it is "you" who doesnt understand the purpose of this site.

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        • Allistalla
          11 years ago

          I agree I think when you just feel like commenting to be rude you are just being a close minded ashole thier is nothing on this site saying you cant ask these things as long as it is " otherwise opengliy hateful " so the fact you think you are so mighty as to pick what is exceptable and unexceptable get off the site you fukn dushbag your not dictator of the Internet I think if anyone deserves to be reported it is you I agree with bleach baby "

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        • bleach_baby
          12 years ago

          http://isitnormal.com/story/is-it-normal-i-get-bugged-by-is-it-normal-purists-79137/

          look what the management have posted on this story...

          guess you're wrong

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          • [Old Memory]
            12 years ago

            When have I ever said added in advice isnt aliud on this site? I say advice shouldnt beon here just for the sake of asking for advice. What I say is that the stories submitted should be asked with an actual IIN question. Would you like the email that says about how the managment said that it has to ask an actual IIN question? or are you going to ignore my reply until you find something a week later that you "think" you can use against me?

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            • bleach_baby
              12 years ago

              Hahaha I'm sorry I don't have as much time as you to devote to futile arguments on the internet, I had no idea how eagerly you were awaiting my replies :D Anyway, the IIN story in this is here : "I ended up letting him stay over and did some sexual stuff etc." That appears to correspond with the IIN I did this even though I didn't want to. The advice bit comes afterwards. Practise your close reading skills before you have a moan.

              OP - I'm going to say no, it's not normal to get sexual with someone just because you don't want to hurt their feelings!

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